Overwhelmed!!

A little late with this post but I am sure all of you will understand and forgive me since Hayley is home with us. Those of you who are on my friends list in Facebook would have known by now. She was discharged on Sunday, 15th February after having spent 12 days in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). We were there bright and early at about 10am to meet Dr K, her PD to discuss her progress and then confirm her coming home. It was such a happy occasion and Luke was there to help receive his sister home.

Maybe she knew we were all waiting for her to come home because the last 2 days leading up to her discharge she increased her milk intake from the bottle instead of relying heavily on the tube. The minimum requirement for her to come home was she must be able to drink from the bottle every feed. In order not to stress her out Dr K ordered her to be fed every 2 hours instead of 3 and I guess that helped.

The first day home was a little challenging for us especially during the night and early hours of the next morning. Luke is on a 3 hourly routine while Hayley is still sticking to her 2 hourly feed. What this means is that there are times when we have to feed every hour on the hour. This happened at 10pm (Hayley); 11pm (Luke) and midnight (Hayley) followed by 2am (Luke & Hayley) before we go back to 4am (Hayley); 5am (Luke) and 6am (Hayley). So there was hardly any sleep for the both of us on the first night.

I had to take leave from work the next day to try and help the Mrs establish a routine or system so that when I am back at work she and Ani can handle the 3 of them.

First thing to do will be to try and adjust Hayley to 3 hourly feed instead of 2 so that they can be fed ideally about half hour apart. This will be less taxing on us in the night. We did this by calculating the milk required for a 3 hourly routine and then see if she could finish the amount. Being the good girl that she is, she finished what we had prepared and it did last her for about 3 hours before she needed her milk again. We monitored this during the day and by evening we were confident she will be able to join Luke in a 3 hourly feed from then on. One problem solved.

As the Mrs is still not producing enough milk to sustain the both of them, we have opted to go for half breast milk and half formula for the 2 of them. They will be alternated between the two kinds of milk. I am glad and proud that the Mrs is open with the idea of giving them formula as well and not all banged up on total breast feeding. She has adopted the "provide what I can" attitude.

Having both of them home has caused confusion when it comes to feeding and changing diapers and knowing who pooped and who did not. Initially we will sat there and stared into the air trying to recall which of them drank formula and which was on the expressed breast milk. It is really quite hard to recall when we were preparing and feeding them so often. It is a little like trying to recall where I parked the car every morning. It is always the same carpark so sometimes I get confused with where I parked last night with 2 nights before (then again maybe this only happens to me). By evening of the 1st day that Hayley was back we decided to come up with a simple table for recording so that we can keep track of who drank which type of milk at what time and when were the diapers changed. Another problem solved.

So far the two of them have been rather easy to handle (knock on wood now everyone) just as expected since all they do are eat, sleep and shit. However there are times at night that they just will not sleep in the cot but will sleep soundly with us on the bed. In the Mrs's words, "it is like they are allergic to the mattress in the cot". The minute we put them down they will be tossing and turning before crying but when we carry them to our bed they can lie still and sleep on the mattress.

I was commenting one day that actually the twins are nice to us because they seemed to take turn to cry and demand to be carried at night. It was one twin this night and the other twin the next. It is as if one twin will tell the other the adventure he / she had on our bed the night before and the other twin will try his / her luck the next night. The Mrs was commenting that they can nicer if they will both be good and not demand to be carried at night. To which I replied we should be grateful they do not both cry and demand to be carried at the same time.

Speaking of crying and carrying and feeding, the last few days have been hard on the Mrs. Most of you who follow this blog will know that the Mrs is the kind of person that does not like to stay cooped up at home. Even during confinement she will go out for a short while now and then. This time it is not so easy anymore since we have twins. While she can just pick up a baby, be it Isaac or Luke, and head out for her shopping and running of errands, she simply cannot manage 2 babies. As a result she has been a little down lately.

I believe it is not easy since all she does the entire day is feed and change the twins and for most part of the day not leave the room. We tried to occupy her time by giving her projects such as planning the first month celebration for the twins and also to put up pictures on our wall but it did not exactly lift her spirit. I try to be home earlier than usual to take over the caring of the babies but I believe she needed a breather. She said that she is overwhelmed!

I was worried that she will get into a depression so last night we agreed that she was to take the car and go out in the evening when I’m home to do her groceries and whatever else she wants. This will hopefully provide her with a little breather. Since I can manage the twins’ feeding and bathing alone and Ani is there in case I needed assistance, I thought she deserved the little break from her mundane routine.

We will be out on Sat for Hayley’s review so I am hoping that we can do a bit more before we come home so the Mrs can get some fresh air and some sun.

On the lighter side of things, Hayley was very cranky last night from midnight till about 2.30am before we fed her so we did not get to sleep till about 3ish. After their feed at 6 in the morning it was Luke's turn to be cranky. Being sleepy and tired I decided to take the easier option and picked him up and brought him to sleep with me on the bed. In the morning when the Mr was up and she asked me which twin I had with me I told her it was Hayley.

Will take more photos of them and upload after their first month celebration.

Separated

First of all I would like to thank you all for your generous comments and congratulatory. You have actually set a record high for number of comments generated in a single post as well as hits in a single day.

There are a number of you who have posted your comments for the first time and like I said in my replies to you, please try not to wait for another birth announcement before you comment again because I have a really really strong feeling that it will probably not happen anymore. Three is really the max for us and like I said before in one of my earlier post, we do not preach accidents in the Tan family.

Speaking of replies, it did take me a while (3 attempts) but finally I managed to reply to each and every one of your comments. I do not believe I left out anyone no matter how long or short your comments are. It may be a little hard to trace my reply to your comment but they were replied in a chronological order.

One of the reasons this post took a while longer is also partly due to the fact that I wanted to reply to all your comments before I work on this. Largely it is due to my busy running around between home and hospital as well as managing my work and health. I was actually ill since Monday due to some flu virus.

Alright back to updating you all on the twins’ progress.

Luke was discharged on Monday after he showed that he is able to take to the bottle for all his feeds. He was about 2.3kg when he was discharged. The feeling was a little weird for me because for some reason I secretly wish that Luke can stay behind to accompany his sister and support her in her development. While I was happy that Luke is well enough to come home with us, I felt guilty leaving Hayley alone behind.

The Mrs is also struggling with this emotion and guilt. Since Luke's discharged we have been going to the hospital on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day, to spend some time with Hayley and to support and encourage her. The Mrs initially wanted to breastfeed her but most of the time she is too tired or simply lack the energy to latch on.

In order not to stress and exhaust her too much we have decided to stop trying to latch her on. Instead the Mrs will feed the two of them half breast milk and half formula. So Luke will be alternated between latching on and taking the formula through the bottle. The Mrs will express whenever Luke is on the bottle and save them for Hayley. This is also part of the reason why we are heading to the hospital on a daily basis, to bring Hayley breast milk.

From her birth weight of 1.995kg she dropped to below 1.8kg but she is slowly catching up now. As of yesterday she weighed in at 1.855kg. Weight although important but is not the reason why she is not able to come home. She is only able to complete her feed from the bottle a few times a day with the remaining times through the tube.

After our discussion with the PD yesterday when Luke went for his review, we have decided to lower her intake each time but increase the frequency. So instead of 35ml every 3 hourly she is now on 25 ml every 2 hours. We are hoping that with the lower quantity she can at least get all her milk through bottle. When she eventually comes home we may have to stick to the same 2 hourly feed of smaller quantity which will be hard on the Mrs as it allows her little rest.

As for Luke or Twin I as he is known in the NICU, he is progressing well. He is downing 50ml of milk with some of his feed already which leaves Hayley more to catch up.

It is almost like clockwork with Luke. He will almost wakes up every 3 hourly demanding for his milk. Sometimes he may be slightly earlier or an hour later. We are basically taking turns to feed him although the Mrs has to be up even though I’m the one feeding him and no it is not because she needs to supervise me in case some of you are wondering. When I feed Luke through the bottle she will have to wake up to express for Hayley.

After a little revision with the Mrs I believed we have re-established the method to bath Luke. I am again tasked with bathing him and eventually Hayley as well but I am not complaining except for belly button bit. I am really not very comfortable with the cleaning of the area surrounding what’s left of the umbilical cord. I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.

So far (knocking on wood), Luke is proving to be just like Isaac, a rather easy to care for baby. Oh and of course the similarity does not stop as there as most of you have pointed out.

This is Luke when he learned that he is coming home with us.

This is Isaac when he learned that he will have 2 siblings to play with in 15 month's time.

Last but not least the Mrs. She is doing so well and since we have to run about sorting things out for the twins, she has basically thrown her confinement out the window, not that we practice much in the first place. Those of you new to this blog may wish to check out how she did her last unconfined-ment here.

A little illustration on how well the Mrs is doing. She is sending me to work and then she will be driving the car to run whatever errands she needs to run. As she needs the lactician to assist her so she will also drive herself to Mt E. Oh, I should also add that she was running to and fro the hospital with Luke in tow most of the time.

I was just commenting how I am not used to her moving about so quickly now. At times she was even walking faster than me. It is good to see her almost back to her old self and being able to sleep. I think she will truly heal once Hayley is united with us.

She mentioned last night that it is always very hard whenever all of us, Ani and Isaac included visit Hayley only to leave the hospital without her.

Hi!!

In life we can only plan so much and hope that everything will fall into place. However many a time things will turn out quite differently and sometimes they will make a slight detour but still manage to find its way back into your plan.

Yesterday we went to Thompson Medical Centre to have Dr C perform another growth scan for the twins. This was supposed to be the final one so that Dr N will know if we will perform the LSCS today or they can wait a little while longer.

The scan results showed the twins to be in good condition. Blood flow to them was good and the placentas were doing well also. There was enough water in the bag for them and their estimated weight was about 2.1kg each. According to Dr C we should probably try and wait for another week or two if we could so that the twins could further develop their organs and gain more weight.

The Mrs was a little disappointed to hear this cause we had our mind set for our LSCS today so the thought of delaying for another week or two didn't quite appeal to her. I think the lack of sleep and contractions were finally getting to her. Her tummy (see picture from earlier post) was really a little small for the 2 of them to maneuver in there so she felt them 24 x 7.

Anyway the final decision would have to wait till we had our discussion with Dr N. So once we were back at Mount E, we proceeded to do the CTG and coincidentally Dr N just had a delivery so he popped in to check on the Mrs. We showed the growth scan reports and after another round of VE it was found that the Mrs was 5cm dilated and his fingers could actually touch the leading twin's head.

We had to complete the CTG so Dr N went back to his clinic first to check with the PD if we should have the twins taken out based on all facts presented. We met up again in his office after the CTG and were informed that the recommendation was to proceed with the LSCS as planned. Dr N preferred for us not to wait till the last moment in case the leading twin decides to wait no more since he was already deeply engaged. Should he decide to come out we would have a problem because Hayley was in transverse position. To play it safe it was better to have the C-section and have the 2 of them removed in a controlled environment and condition.

We were sent to carry out our pre-admission and also to do some blood tests before we head home for the final preparation. The Mrs had to fast starting from midnight and we had to check in by 6 the next morning, 4 hours before the operation.

So this was it folks! The moment we had all been waiting for. Maybe it was not our first time we were not as excited. Perhaps it was because the Mrs was going under the knife hence we were a little worried and anxious.

When I woke up at 5.30 this morning to get ready I was surprised to find the Mrs preparing and watching season 3 of Grey's Anatomy at the same time. Maybe she was preparing herself mentally for what was to come........ not! She just could not sleep so she continued watching from where she left off.

So we drove to the hospital and I even managed to steal an hour or so of sleep before we were asked to go to the operating theater. I could not be there when she was administered the epidural. I had to change and then wait in the delivery suite and they came to get me once they were about to start.

I saw part of the preparation and just when Dr N was about to start, a nurse use a cloth to block my direct view of the procedure. She said that it was best for me not to watch as it might be a little too traumatic for me. Hmmm..... doesn't she know how to deal with boys? You never say "no" because it only make us want it even more. So I had to sit upright the whole time to see what was going on.

I remembered the Mrs asking me what was burning and when I turned to check I told her "you don't want to know". Her tummy was blocking most of my view since they were operating at the bottom of the tummy so I could see mainly the arc only. However I could still see the scalpel cutting the Mrs and there was smoke and burning smell coming from there.

The rest of it is a little hard to describe in words so I will let the below pictures do the story telling.

Disclaimer: If you are uncomfortable with blood or cannot watch shows like Saw I, II, III & IV or Grey's Anatomy and Nip / Tuck then I will strongly suggest that you scroll down fast with your eyes covered and skip to the picture of the twins!!! I will not be held responsible should you experience any discomfort or suffer from nightmares from the pictures and the descriptions.

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Last warning!!

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This is the Mrs's upper tummy being held back by some tools which were tied to the bed over her head.

Boy Twin is out and Dr N cutting the umbilical cord

This is Girl Twin coming out from the womb

Girl Twin leaving the womb

Boy Twin being cleaned up

Girl Twin being cleaned up

Meet Luke Tan weighing in at 2.425kg


Meet Hayley Tan weighing at 1.995kg

According to the PD the twins will most likely go home only when they reach the 36th week which is next Monday. Meantime most people will not be able to visit them as they are in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).

Right now the twins are doing fine and are able to breathe on their own. Blood test results will be back after 2 days then we will know their health conditions better.

Thanks for all your support, encouragements and advices during the last 30 plus weeks!

Anxious

It has been more than a week and the Mrs is still required to go back to Mt E on an alternate day basis for her CTG (Cardiotocography). In case you think that having been through Isaac’s birth and now the twins I have learned some medical terms I like to clarify that I Googled it. For those of you who have not been through it, basically it is designed to monitor the twins’ heartbeat and contractions.

Based on what we have observed so far the Mrs is indeed having contractions or surges as our HypnoBirthing trainer would have us called it, and sometimes they can be pretty intense. However they are not regular enough to cause any alarm but according to Dr N we are getting there.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the Mrs is not too good at telling the difference between the actual contractions and the movement of the twins. Because her stomach is so stretched she feels just as uncomfortable whenever the twins move in her. She can of course tell when they kick or punch her.

Dr N did a vaginal examination on the Mrs today and found that she is actually about 2 to 3 cm dilated. He would like for us to wait as long as possible hence the close monitoring. We are scheduled to go back for the CTG on Sat and then again on Monday.

We are also scheduled to go for another growth scan on Monday and it will tell us if the blood flow is still going to the twins fine. Tentatively we are booked for LSCS (Lower Segment Caesarean Section – Googled too!!) on 3rd Feb next Tuesday in case the flow to the twins are not as healthy as we hope it to be.

Now there is this confusion between the Mrs and I. I thought that if according to the growth scan everything is good then we will continue to play the waiting game for a further week. Dr N will deliver the babies once they have reached 36 weeks (following Monday). But the way the Mrs interprets it is we will have them delivered no matter what on the 3rd. Guess we will keep you all in suspense a little further until we confirm with him when we next see him.

To be honest all this waiting can be a little unnerving for the both of us. Perhaps a little more so for the Mrs. On one hand she is so uncomfortable that she would like them out now but on the other hand we want them to take their time since it is better to fatten them up a little more first. Sometimes we secretly wish for Dr N to say ‘Okay my dear, this is it we can’t risk waiting anymore. Let’s have the babies out today.” but we feel rather anxious at the same time.

Is everything ready? More important, are we ready? Imagine all the night feeding only times two!!! I believe that once they are out it will be nightmarish for the next 2 years! If only we can click and fast forward to 2 years later. Then again it is the current me talking like this now because I’m sure the future me will be blogging about what an experience it is to watch the 2 of them achieving their many firsts.

Those of you who have been following this blog since day one will probably remember that I posted 3 pictures of the Mrs’s tummy around the 7th month. Click here to see. I believed I even inspired a reader to do the same on her blog. Now, sticking to the true tradition of this blog we have prepared for you the picture of the Mrs’s tummy at the current advance stage.

How? Does she look like she is carrying twins and about to pop?

Now on the lighter side of things, the following conversations happened during our previous visit to Dr N’s clinic.

Mrs: I need to go to the toilet.

Mrs: Oh! Better to go to the clinic first since I have to collect the dip stick.

Me: Oh ya! By the way why do they still make you pee on the dip stick? To test what? That you’re pregnant? I mean it is obvious isn’t it?!

Mrs: Of course not lah! Duh?!?!?! It’s to test protein, glucose amongst other things!

A few minutes later.

Mrs (giggling): Wah! Finding it very hard to do this nowadays because stomach so big cannot see where to put the dip stick anymore.

Me: Easy mah. Just stick it in like this (proceed to mimic).

Mrs: You think so easy ah!?! Imagine you have to pee on the dip stick blindfolded how?

Me: Like this lor! (pretend as if I’m holding the dip stick and swing from left to right)

Mrs: Sigh………

Stay tuned ya?! I have a feeling we will all get to see pictures of the twins in the next post.

Fall!!!

I am sorry to tell you all that after a year Isaac finally had his first fall. I am of course not referring to those minor ones like when he was learning how to crawl or stand. He had a smaller fall and a rather serious one all in the space of 2 days and I am even sorrier to say that both happened during my watch! Sigh……

Isaac has learned how to get off beds and mattresses about 3 months ago and he is fearless and will attempt to use the same method to get off regardless the height. I guess at his age, height is really irrelevant to him. So whenever we let him play and crawl about on our bed we will usually be very careful and when he attempts to get off we will always hold on to one of his arm and let him lower himself and will only release our grip when his buttock touches the floor. For the past few months everything was fine and there weren’t even any near misses. That was until Sunday.

Like every day he was playing happily on our bed and had climbed down a few times already. Each time he had so much fun crawling around, screaming and climbing up to my TV cabinet and threw whatever that was within reach onto the floor. After a while I will tidy up everything and then carry him back to the bed and the cycle will continue. Maybe I was tired after repeating the cycle for a while and got careless or perhaps he was getting quicker because one time he was getting off from his weaker side (he is better at climbing off from his right) he slipped and although he landed on his bum he still fell backward and knocked his head on the cold hard floor.

Needless to say he cried but due to the impact being not that bad he was back to his normal mischievous self in a few minutes’ time. He was climbing down from the bed again and again.

The major one was on Monday night. The Mrs and Ani were busy in the kitchen going through what groceries to buy when they go out the next day and Isaac was playing on his own in the cot in front of the sofa where I was replying to work emails. He was throwing his toys at me and I will throw them back in. Then unbeknownst to me he threw a ball and it landed on a table which is about a metre away from the cot and he was trying to reach out and grab the ball. The next thing I saw was his 2 legs in mid air and he toppled over head first onto the ground.

He was probably in shock and there was a delayed reaction of about 2 seconds before he wailed after I picked him up and held him tightly in my arms. All the while I was rubbing the back of his head and walking around the house. The Mrs and Ani came running out when they heard me shouting “Oh no! Oh no!” right before he toppled over. The Mrs was about to burst into tears when she saw our precious baby on the floor. It took about 10 minutes and the combined effort of all 3 of us before he quieten down.

Once he was better he began to crawl around on the floor again but this time I was like a hawk watching over him. No matter where he crawled to I was directly behind him with extended arms waiting just in case. While he was busy throwing things off the TV cabinet again I was there rubbing his head and checking for lumps or bruises. Thankfully there was none.

I felt so horrible and kept on replaying the scene with his legs in mid air over and over again in my head. I was feeling uneasy the whole night but luckily he was able to finish his milk and slept with no problem. I even requested for the Mrs to enter Ani’s room to check on him a few times before we slept.

The Mrs knew I was very worried so she directed me to the SMH forum to read about other mothers’ experiences. From what I read, other than the height where Isaac fell from it wasn’t too bad in relation to what some other babies had to go through. I know it sounds bad but after reading these mothers’ experiences and know that their babies came out fine and probably even stronger I began to feel a little more assured.

The Mrs had to get an injection from the A&E at Mt E sometime around midnight so I told her to check with either the nurse or Doctor attending to her on what to look out for with Isaac’s fall. Below is taken from a leaflet that the kind nurse had given to us so I thought I share with all of you.

Head Injury Advice

The following are basic general information and advice on the above condition. The list is not exhaustive. In specific cases, the advice and instruction from your doctor may differ. Please follow your doctor's advice and seek clarification if in doubt.

After a head injury, please observe the patient closely for 24 hours, if there are no problem within 24 hours, the patient is usually fine. Occasionally, a problem may creep up later but being aware of what to look out for should safe guard against any late effects of the head injury.

Return to the emergency department if any of these symptoms arise:

1. Persistent vomiting more than 3 times

2. Persistent or worsening headaches more than 24 hours especially if not relieved with simple medication such as Panadol

3. Seizures

4. Any change in mental state e.g. confusion, unusual behaviour, memory loss

5. Drowsiness or difficulty in rousing

6. Visual blurring, unequal pupil size

7. Blood or clear fluid seen discharging from nose or ear

8. Any loss of sensation, strength of arms or limbs

Do not give any medication to the patient that may cause drowsiness e.g. cough and cold preparations.

## The above are information taken from the Parkway Health's 'Take Home Advice' leaflet found in the Mt E emergency ward.

Since Isaac is still very much a baby and hence the basic we had to look out for are giddiness; odd behaviour and vomiting.

Fast forward to the next morning, I was woken up by his banging and screaming. I never thought such noise will one morning be music to my ears! I immediately knew that the little rascal is fine and had probably forgotten about his dad’s failure to protect him the night before.

Now that we have gotten his first fall out of the way let us prepare ourselves for his many other firsts, both good and bad!!

Anytime!!!

The Mrs is still going for her hormones injections twice a week and during the last one which was on Tuesday, she was “warned” that she should stop walking so much these days because the twins are ready for delivery anytime now.

One of the nurses in Dr N’s clinic happens to be a midwife as well and all she had to do was observed the stomach and placed her hand on it and she predicted that the Mrs can go into labour anytime already.

Few days prior to going to the clinic, the Mrs was already commenting that her stomach has lowered. She felt that the baby boy is engaging himself into position. Guess we forgot to inform him that he is coming out through another opening instead.

Although the advice was for the Mrs to walk less but with Chinese New Year around the corner she finds it very hard to stay at home. She is busy ordering and picking up the New Year goodies as well as the decorations. She was also shopping for new clothes, went with me to my tailor and at the same time busy organizing a family photo shoot with her family which consists of sub families for each of her brothers.

The photo shoot is taking place this Sunday so that we can have the pictures in time for the Chinese New Year. The Mrs started this family tradition that each year she will put up new pictures at her parents’ place. Last year it was pictures of all the grandchildren and this year it is family portraits for all the families. Each year there will easily be 40 – 50 people visiting my MIL’s place so it is very important for the Mrs that she keeps up with this tradition of adding new pictures.

At the rate that she is going I warned her last night that she might just end up spending her New Year in the Mt E delivery ward with no visitors since most people prefer not to go to a hospital during New Year right? It will really be ironic for her to prepare so much only to miss out on it all.

Instead of running around I asked her to stay at home and start planning the babies’ arrival and pack the bag to bring to the hospital for delivery. Compared to Isaac’s delivery we are so relaxed this time round. Nothing was really done or prepared. I am seriously not sure if this is due to our previous experience or simply our plain laziness.

The most urgent task on hand right now is actually to come up with an English name for the baby boy. We are such bad parents because whenever we have to refer to the twins, we are always saying “Oh, Hayley and the boy this” and “Hayley and the boy that”

Even in this blog you will see that I am still referring to him as the baby boy?!?!?! He does not have his own identity yet which is normally fine because we didn’t name Isaac till he was born but ever since we named Hayley we owe it to him to find him a name.

I know we have been down this road many times now but for some reason the Mrs and I simply cannot seem to agree on a name. The only thing that we could agree on was to follow a reader’s advice and that is to have his name begin with the letter 'L'. Fatih’s (the reader) reasoning was once she knew that we picked Hayley for the girl she automatically saw IHL which stands for In His Love. Since we already have the ‘I’ and the ‘H’ we are only missing the ‘L’. Thanks Faith for your suggestions.

Since time is the essence here I am appealing to you readers for your kind assistance once again. We need your suggestions on boys’ names starting with the letter 'L'. We will shortlist a few and then I will set up a poll for you all to vote. In theory the one with the highest votes will be picked but I cannot guarantee because I believe the Mrs may still want to have the final say. With her current condition would I dare go against her wishes?!

Let the naming exercise begin…………yet again!!

Moved!!

I hope those of you who are reading this have a much better start to the New Year than me. I can’t say I have the worst start but it definitely could have been better.

I had moved back to my own place with my family on the 2nd of January, Friday. This is to prevent my relationship with my parents going further south. During the 3 months that we were there the tension just kept getting worse. So finally on New Year’s day the Mrs and I discussed and decided that we really have to move back to give each other more space and time to repair what was damaged and more importantly prevent any more unpleasantness.

It was an easy decision to make but we were worried that they might be further offended so I got my sis to help break the news to them. For some unknown reason my sis has to be the bridge of communication between my parents and I for serious matters. Anyway luckily for us they are both in agreement that this is the best for everyone.

The irony here is we wanted to move out to prevent any direct conflicts between my dad and me but now that we are home, it is my mum who is giving me a hard time. At first she was sad and disappointed that our relationship deteriorated so quickly but now it has gone from sad and disappointed to bitter and anger.

As my parents are not really the confrontational type so I had to send my sis to go and talk to them to see where according to them the problem lies because quite frankly I had no clue. All I can sense is that we are all not very happy.

After my sister’s probe and investigation, we realized that the problem lies with Ani and our ‘protection’ of her. My mum is upset that as a family we are ‘divided’ by a maid and that we are taking her sides and words over theirs.

In our defence, we are not protecting Ani but merely stating the facts. Since the last major issue between Ani and my dad we learnt that it has all got to do with 2 sets of methods of doing things and clearly my parents needed Ani to do it their way which is fine except that she has to do it ‘wrong’ first before she learns that my parents prefer it to be done in another way. Unfortunately there were probably too many ‘wrongs’ hence my parents are getting impatient and harsh with her to the extent that she rather not use her initiative to offer assistance for fear of getting scolded again.

We learnt now that it has gotten to a point that there is this stigma in the way they perceive Ani and her work. What is scary to me is what they perceived to be real they will believe in it whole heartedly. If we were to try and explain on her behalf then we will be deemed as siding her.

They also feel that Ani is always throwing our names at them but as an employee I can understand this act. If my direct boss asks me to do something in a certain way and his boss comes after me for that, my natural instinct will be to inform him that it was my immediate superior who asked me to do it in this manner. She has to defend her actions and that is to tell them that we had asked her to do it.

At the end of the day are all very small and trivial matters and I know that majority of their complaints have good and well intentions behind them. They are doing this for their love of Isaac but I still feel that there are simply too many things they are unhappy with already. Take for example my dad complained that Isaac’s nails were cut too short. Upon examining, the Mrs find that maybe only 1 of 10 was a little shorter but there was no blood and she understands that sometimes due to Isaac’s own movement this can happen so she will continue to monitor.

Another latest incident was my dad complained that Ani poured away the porridge and she is impatient with feeding Isaac. There is of course another side to this. Ani will feed Isaac porridge and there will come a point whereby he doesn’t want it anymore so he will spit it all out. After a few more tries then she will conclude that Isaac really doesn’t want it anymore so whatever is left in the bowl she will throw away and this is usually not a lot because by now she can roughly estimate how much will Isaac take. In regards to being patient when feeding him, I have to state that she is the most patient of us all.

It now came to a point that we dare not defend or explain on her behalf anymore so we will just go ‘Orh’ and then we will monitor at our end. For this I feel rather sorry towards Ani because I am unable to clear her name but this is the best for now. The plan is to move back and get off each other’s back for the next 3 months and hopefully things will improve.

My current headache now is what to do with Ani and all 3 babies after 3 months. I know for a fact that if we were to send them back to my dad’s place then all these nonsense will start again. So our only options are to send them to my MIL’s place or get a second maid and leave them all at home. We would rather not have to pick the latter unless absolutely necessary.

Guess we will cross the bridge when we come to it. Now we just want to enjoy some peace and quiet at our own home and look forward to the Twins’ arrival at the end of this month.