Anxious

It has been more than a week and the Mrs is still required to go back to Mt E on an alternate day basis for her CTG (Cardiotocography). In case you think that having been through Isaac’s birth and now the twins I have learned some medical terms I like to clarify that I Googled it. For those of you who have not been through it, basically it is designed to monitor the twins’ heartbeat and contractions.

Based on what we have observed so far the Mrs is indeed having contractions or surges as our HypnoBirthing trainer would have us called it, and sometimes they can be pretty intense. However they are not regular enough to cause any alarm but according to Dr N we are getting there.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the Mrs is not too good at telling the difference between the actual contractions and the movement of the twins. Because her stomach is so stretched she feels just as uncomfortable whenever the twins move in her. She can of course tell when they kick or punch her.

Dr N did a vaginal examination on the Mrs today and found that she is actually about 2 to 3 cm dilated. He would like for us to wait as long as possible hence the close monitoring. We are scheduled to go back for the CTG on Sat and then again on Monday.

We are also scheduled to go for another growth scan on Monday and it will tell us if the blood flow is still going to the twins fine. Tentatively we are booked for LSCS (Lower Segment Caesarean Section – Googled too!!) on 3rd Feb next Tuesday in case the flow to the twins are not as healthy as we hope it to be.

Now there is this confusion between the Mrs and I. I thought that if according to the growth scan everything is good then we will continue to play the waiting game for a further week. Dr N will deliver the babies once they have reached 36 weeks (following Monday). But the way the Mrs interprets it is we will have them delivered no matter what on the 3rd. Guess we will keep you all in suspense a little further until we confirm with him when we next see him.

To be honest all this waiting can be a little unnerving for the both of us. Perhaps a little more so for the Mrs. On one hand she is so uncomfortable that she would like them out now but on the other hand we want them to take their time since it is better to fatten them up a little more first. Sometimes we secretly wish for Dr N to say ‘Okay my dear, this is it we can’t risk waiting anymore. Let’s have the babies out today.” but we feel rather anxious at the same time.

Is everything ready? More important, are we ready? Imagine all the night feeding only times two!!! I believe that once they are out it will be nightmarish for the next 2 years! If only we can click and fast forward to 2 years later. Then again it is the current me talking like this now because I’m sure the future me will be blogging about what an experience it is to watch the 2 of them achieving their many firsts.

Those of you who have been following this blog since day one will probably remember that I posted 3 pictures of the Mrs’s tummy around the 7th month. Click here to see. I believed I even inspired a reader to do the same on her blog. Now, sticking to the true tradition of this blog we have prepared for you the picture of the Mrs’s tummy at the current advance stage.

How? Does she look like she is carrying twins and about to pop?

Now on the lighter side of things, the following conversations happened during our previous visit to Dr N’s clinic.

Mrs: I need to go to the toilet.

Mrs: Oh! Better to go to the clinic first since I have to collect the dip stick.

Me: Oh ya! By the way why do they still make you pee on the dip stick? To test what? That you’re pregnant? I mean it is obvious isn’t it?!

Mrs: Of course not lah! Duh?!?!?! It’s to test protein, glucose amongst other things!

A few minutes later.

Mrs (giggling): Wah! Finding it very hard to do this nowadays because stomach so big cannot see where to put the dip stick anymore.

Me: Easy mah. Just stick it in like this (proceed to mimic).

Mrs: You think so easy ah!?! Imagine you have to pee on the dip stick blindfolded how?

Me: Like this lor! (pretend as if I’m holding the dip stick and swing from left to right)

Mrs: Sigh………

Stay tuned ya?! I have a feeling we will all get to see pictures of the twins in the next post.

Fall!!!

I am sorry to tell you all that after a year Isaac finally had his first fall. I am of course not referring to those minor ones like when he was learning how to crawl or stand. He had a smaller fall and a rather serious one all in the space of 2 days and I am even sorrier to say that both happened during my watch! Sigh……

Isaac has learned how to get off beds and mattresses about 3 months ago and he is fearless and will attempt to use the same method to get off regardless the height. I guess at his age, height is really irrelevant to him. So whenever we let him play and crawl about on our bed we will usually be very careful and when he attempts to get off we will always hold on to one of his arm and let him lower himself and will only release our grip when his buttock touches the floor. For the past few months everything was fine and there weren’t even any near misses. That was until Sunday.

Like every day he was playing happily on our bed and had climbed down a few times already. Each time he had so much fun crawling around, screaming and climbing up to my TV cabinet and threw whatever that was within reach onto the floor. After a while I will tidy up everything and then carry him back to the bed and the cycle will continue. Maybe I was tired after repeating the cycle for a while and got careless or perhaps he was getting quicker because one time he was getting off from his weaker side (he is better at climbing off from his right) he slipped and although he landed on his bum he still fell backward and knocked his head on the cold hard floor.

Needless to say he cried but due to the impact being not that bad he was back to his normal mischievous self in a few minutes’ time. He was climbing down from the bed again and again.

The major one was on Monday night. The Mrs and Ani were busy in the kitchen going through what groceries to buy when they go out the next day and Isaac was playing on his own in the cot in front of the sofa where I was replying to work emails. He was throwing his toys at me and I will throw them back in. Then unbeknownst to me he threw a ball and it landed on a table which is about a metre away from the cot and he was trying to reach out and grab the ball. The next thing I saw was his 2 legs in mid air and he toppled over head first onto the ground.

He was probably in shock and there was a delayed reaction of about 2 seconds before he wailed after I picked him up and held him tightly in my arms. All the while I was rubbing the back of his head and walking around the house. The Mrs and Ani came running out when they heard me shouting “Oh no! Oh no!” right before he toppled over. The Mrs was about to burst into tears when she saw our precious baby on the floor. It took about 10 minutes and the combined effort of all 3 of us before he quieten down.

Once he was better he began to crawl around on the floor again but this time I was like a hawk watching over him. No matter where he crawled to I was directly behind him with extended arms waiting just in case. While he was busy throwing things off the TV cabinet again I was there rubbing his head and checking for lumps or bruises. Thankfully there was none.

I felt so horrible and kept on replaying the scene with his legs in mid air over and over again in my head. I was feeling uneasy the whole night but luckily he was able to finish his milk and slept with no problem. I even requested for the Mrs to enter Ani’s room to check on him a few times before we slept.

The Mrs knew I was very worried so she directed me to the SMH forum to read about other mothers’ experiences. From what I read, other than the height where Isaac fell from it wasn’t too bad in relation to what some other babies had to go through. I know it sounds bad but after reading these mothers’ experiences and know that their babies came out fine and probably even stronger I began to feel a little more assured.

The Mrs had to get an injection from the A&E at Mt E sometime around midnight so I told her to check with either the nurse or Doctor attending to her on what to look out for with Isaac’s fall. Below is taken from a leaflet that the kind nurse had given to us so I thought I share with all of you.

Head Injury Advice

The following are basic general information and advice on the above condition. The list is not exhaustive. In specific cases, the advice and instruction from your doctor may differ. Please follow your doctor's advice and seek clarification if in doubt.

After a head injury, please observe the patient closely for 24 hours, if there are no problem within 24 hours, the patient is usually fine. Occasionally, a problem may creep up later but being aware of what to look out for should safe guard against any late effects of the head injury.

Return to the emergency department if any of these symptoms arise:

1. Persistent vomiting more than 3 times

2. Persistent or worsening headaches more than 24 hours especially if not relieved with simple medication such as Panadol

3. Seizures

4. Any change in mental state e.g. confusion, unusual behaviour, memory loss

5. Drowsiness or difficulty in rousing

6. Visual blurring, unequal pupil size

7. Blood or clear fluid seen discharging from nose or ear

8. Any loss of sensation, strength of arms or limbs

Do not give any medication to the patient that may cause drowsiness e.g. cough and cold preparations.

## The above are information taken from the Parkway Health's 'Take Home Advice' leaflet found in the Mt E emergency ward.

Since Isaac is still very much a baby and hence the basic we had to look out for are giddiness; odd behaviour and vomiting.

Fast forward to the next morning, I was woken up by his banging and screaming. I never thought such noise will one morning be music to my ears! I immediately knew that the little rascal is fine and had probably forgotten about his dad’s failure to protect him the night before.

Now that we have gotten his first fall out of the way let us prepare ourselves for his many other firsts, both good and bad!!

Anytime!!!

The Mrs is still going for her hormones injections twice a week and during the last one which was on Tuesday, she was “warned” that she should stop walking so much these days because the twins are ready for delivery anytime now.

One of the nurses in Dr N’s clinic happens to be a midwife as well and all she had to do was observed the stomach and placed her hand on it and she predicted that the Mrs can go into labour anytime already.

Few days prior to going to the clinic, the Mrs was already commenting that her stomach has lowered. She felt that the baby boy is engaging himself into position. Guess we forgot to inform him that he is coming out through another opening instead.

Although the advice was for the Mrs to walk less but with Chinese New Year around the corner she finds it very hard to stay at home. She is busy ordering and picking up the New Year goodies as well as the decorations. She was also shopping for new clothes, went with me to my tailor and at the same time busy organizing a family photo shoot with her family which consists of sub families for each of her brothers.

The photo shoot is taking place this Sunday so that we can have the pictures in time for the Chinese New Year. The Mrs started this family tradition that each year she will put up new pictures at her parents’ place. Last year it was pictures of all the grandchildren and this year it is family portraits for all the families. Each year there will easily be 40 – 50 people visiting my MIL’s place so it is very important for the Mrs that she keeps up with this tradition of adding new pictures.

At the rate that she is going I warned her last night that she might just end up spending her New Year in the Mt E delivery ward with no visitors since most people prefer not to go to a hospital during New Year right? It will really be ironic for her to prepare so much only to miss out on it all.

Instead of running around I asked her to stay at home and start planning the babies’ arrival and pack the bag to bring to the hospital for delivery. Compared to Isaac’s delivery we are so relaxed this time round. Nothing was really done or prepared. I am seriously not sure if this is due to our previous experience or simply our plain laziness.

The most urgent task on hand right now is actually to come up with an English name for the baby boy. We are such bad parents because whenever we have to refer to the twins, we are always saying “Oh, Hayley and the boy this” and “Hayley and the boy that”

Even in this blog you will see that I am still referring to him as the baby boy?!?!?! He does not have his own identity yet which is normally fine because we didn’t name Isaac till he was born but ever since we named Hayley we owe it to him to find him a name.

I know we have been down this road many times now but for some reason the Mrs and I simply cannot seem to agree on a name. The only thing that we could agree on was to follow a reader’s advice and that is to have his name begin with the letter 'L'. Fatih’s (the reader) reasoning was once she knew that we picked Hayley for the girl she automatically saw IHL which stands for In His Love. Since we already have the ‘I’ and the ‘H’ we are only missing the ‘L’. Thanks Faith for your suggestions.

Since time is the essence here I am appealing to you readers for your kind assistance once again. We need your suggestions on boys’ names starting with the letter 'L'. We will shortlist a few and then I will set up a poll for you all to vote. In theory the one with the highest votes will be picked but I cannot guarantee because I believe the Mrs may still want to have the final say. With her current condition would I dare go against her wishes?!

Let the naming exercise begin…………yet again!!

Moved!!

I hope those of you who are reading this have a much better start to the New Year than me. I can’t say I have the worst start but it definitely could have been better.

I had moved back to my own place with my family on the 2nd of January, Friday. This is to prevent my relationship with my parents going further south. During the 3 months that we were there the tension just kept getting worse. So finally on New Year’s day the Mrs and I discussed and decided that we really have to move back to give each other more space and time to repair what was damaged and more importantly prevent any more unpleasantness.

It was an easy decision to make but we were worried that they might be further offended so I got my sis to help break the news to them. For some unknown reason my sis has to be the bridge of communication between my parents and I for serious matters. Anyway luckily for us they are both in agreement that this is the best for everyone.

The irony here is we wanted to move out to prevent any direct conflicts between my dad and me but now that we are home, it is my mum who is giving me a hard time. At first she was sad and disappointed that our relationship deteriorated so quickly but now it has gone from sad and disappointed to bitter and anger.

As my parents are not really the confrontational type so I had to send my sis to go and talk to them to see where according to them the problem lies because quite frankly I had no clue. All I can sense is that we are all not very happy.

After my sister’s probe and investigation, we realized that the problem lies with Ani and our ‘protection’ of her. My mum is upset that as a family we are ‘divided’ by a maid and that we are taking her sides and words over theirs.

In our defence, we are not protecting Ani but merely stating the facts. Since the last major issue between Ani and my dad we learnt that it has all got to do with 2 sets of methods of doing things and clearly my parents needed Ani to do it their way which is fine except that she has to do it ‘wrong’ first before she learns that my parents prefer it to be done in another way. Unfortunately there were probably too many ‘wrongs’ hence my parents are getting impatient and harsh with her to the extent that she rather not use her initiative to offer assistance for fear of getting scolded again.

We learnt now that it has gotten to a point that there is this stigma in the way they perceive Ani and her work. What is scary to me is what they perceived to be real they will believe in it whole heartedly. If we were to try and explain on her behalf then we will be deemed as siding her.

They also feel that Ani is always throwing our names at them but as an employee I can understand this act. If my direct boss asks me to do something in a certain way and his boss comes after me for that, my natural instinct will be to inform him that it was my immediate superior who asked me to do it in this manner. She has to defend her actions and that is to tell them that we had asked her to do it.

At the end of the day are all very small and trivial matters and I know that majority of their complaints have good and well intentions behind them. They are doing this for their love of Isaac but I still feel that there are simply too many things they are unhappy with already. Take for example my dad complained that Isaac’s nails were cut too short. Upon examining, the Mrs find that maybe only 1 of 10 was a little shorter but there was no blood and she understands that sometimes due to Isaac’s own movement this can happen so she will continue to monitor.

Another latest incident was my dad complained that Ani poured away the porridge and she is impatient with feeding Isaac. There is of course another side to this. Ani will feed Isaac porridge and there will come a point whereby he doesn’t want it anymore so he will spit it all out. After a few more tries then she will conclude that Isaac really doesn’t want it anymore so whatever is left in the bowl she will throw away and this is usually not a lot because by now she can roughly estimate how much will Isaac take. In regards to being patient when feeding him, I have to state that she is the most patient of us all.

It now came to a point that we dare not defend or explain on her behalf anymore so we will just go ‘Orh’ and then we will monitor at our end. For this I feel rather sorry towards Ani because I am unable to clear her name but this is the best for now. The plan is to move back and get off each other’s back for the next 3 months and hopefully things will improve.

My current headache now is what to do with Ani and all 3 babies after 3 months. I know for a fact that if we were to send them back to my dad’s place then all these nonsense will start again. So our only options are to send them to my MIL’s place or get a second maid and leave them all at home. We would rather not have to pick the latter unless absolutely necessary.

Guess we will cross the bridge when we come to it. Now we just want to enjoy some peace and quiet at our own home and look forward to the Twins’ arrival at the end of this month.

Party!!!

It has been a while since I am able to sit down here at Starbucks Paragon to update this blog. Those of you who had followed this blog long enough may recall that a number of the posts here were conceived while sipping my cuppa here waiting for the Mrs to knock off or to be done with her shopping.

It is probably apt that I am finishing the last post of the year here.

Had my year end company lunch at The Line at Shangarila and since the Mrs is still busy reminiscing the good old times with her friends over some coffee, presumably at the PS Cafe, I decided to sit here and blog about Isaac's recent birthday party. So many of you had asked for pictures and updates so I felt I couldn't be lazy anymore.

Isaac's party turned out to be exactly what we had expected it to be, a rather small affair. Apart from the odd few who couldn't make it, most of our invited guest managed to make it so Isaac celebrated his 1st birthday with his immediate families and a bunch of his parents' close and good friends. To these family members and friends, we would like to express our heartfelt thanks for taking the time to drop by on Christmas Day. I hope you will mark it in your calendar permanently because from the look of it we will most probably be celebrating Isaac's birthday each year on Christmas.

I'm sure many of you had been down to the Ben & Jerry's at Vivo City and as I recalled one of you even had doubts that it can actually hold 40 people. Well, from our own experience it did hold about 40 people as well as made room for the buffet spread. Of course not all 40 people were seated down at the same time but somehow we managed.

I particularly like the fact that on this day, besides celebrating Isaac's birthday we were there to exchange season’s greetings and a few presents for the other kids and babies. It was also a good time for some friends who were too busy or whose offices are too far apart to arrange for the occasional lunch meeting to catch up.

Overall I would like to think that the party was successful where most if not everyone had a good time. We definitely do not regret holding it at Ben & Jerry’s because it is amazing to witness the effect that ice-cream had on both the young and the old. A couple of adults even had multiple servings of the free ice-cream (single scoop on a wafer cone) that we had promised.

Since a picture is supposed to say a thousand words I shall let them do the rest of the talking then.

The Venue

The Occasion

The Star

The Birthday Boy

The Cake

The Candle

The Young Lady Photographer

The Parents

The God Parents

The Paternal Grandparents and Cousin

The Maternal Grandparents

The Blowing of Candle

The Presents

Presents Unwrapped

As usual I have posted only limited pictures here. You are invited to visit me at Facebook to view the rest of them.

Lastly the Mrs, Isaac and I would like to give special thanks and credit to Crystal, the young and pretty photographer for that day. Incidentally she is also Isaac's God Sister.

Christmas!!

The way I look at Christmas this year is rather different. In the past I have always enjoyed only the period leading up to Christmas. I always felt that somehow the actual day is a bit of an anticlimax perhaps due to the over hyped during the preparation and presents buying. In the end Christmas Day is just like any other normal day that we do not have to work.

Needless to say I am not a Christian or Catholic hence I feel the way I feel. Unlike all you religious people you will have churches to go to and families and friends to visit to celebrate Christmas.

This year however is different and it is all because of Isaac. Although he is probably too young to understand but whenever we are out shopping for presents and he is attracted by the decorations I will always tell him that all these decorations are preparations to celebrate his birthday. I believed very soon he will understand that when he sees such hype and decorations it means his birthday is near.

Many of you readers have commented how fast a year has passed and Isaac is turning one already. Personally it felt as if it was only yesterday that I was sharing with all of you my inexperience as a Father-to-be.

I can still remember the joy I had when I learned that we were expecting a baby and this being our first time I really wanted to document every step of the way. Besides I hoped that I can learn from all you readers hence the birth of this blog.

During this past year the Mrs and I had witnessed the birth and growth of Isaac. He was this ugly (yes I can say it now) little monkey look-alike baby that was rather yellow. He was so tiny that we could carry him in one hand to the shock of many people whom clearly did not attend Mrs Wong’s class.

If I breakdown his past year into quarters and describe how I remember them in relation to his progress, it will go something like this:

0 to 3 months

This is probably the easy time to handle him since all he did was eat, shit and sleep. Even though we had to wake up a few times each night to feed him, I had a lot of ‘me’ time. During the weekends, while he was sleeping in his cot I could be playing in front of my Xbox while the Mrs rested or do whatever she pleased.

So despite the nightly feeds which I helped, it was considered to be a piece of cake but not quite as fun to play with him.

3 to 6 months

To me this was perhaps one of the best stages for a baby to be in. Isaac still ate, shitted and slept a lot but he also added this element of fun because he was a lot more responsive. He was able to sit up with the aid of bumbo seat of course. He was smiling a lot and was still very easy to handle. Whenever we were busy we could simply placed him on the bumbo seat and carry on with our chores and he will just sit there and watch you go about your business, although not for long.

One of the highlight for us was of course his size. Back then he was rather chubby and really looked like he could really give the boy in the Nippon Paint commercial a run for his money.

6 to 9 months

To me this was the stage that was noisiest and wettest so far. Not only did he make a lot of ga ga noise he was also drooling and spitting a lot. He was much stronger hence the bumbo seat had to retire because he will tip himself over. Luckily we usually placed him and the bumbo seat on the sofa so he did not hurt himself.

At this age he also laughed the loudest and the most. He was usually very ticklish and when he was in the mood one can make him laugh effortlessly as video evidence posted in this blog had shown.

Although he was crawling he was unstable so we had to follow him every step of the way just to try and prevent him from plunging head first into the concrete floor. This was perhaps the hardest part due to all the back ache.

9 to 12 months

He is a lot more demanding at this stage. He has learnt how to express his displease (read complain) and be sure that everyone at home will know. When placed in the playpen he will throw all out the toys and stuffs in there if he is unhappy or happy and simply wants to get your attention to play with him.

Due to his strength and weight he is a lot harder to handle now. We were out shopping for Christmas presents with him last weekend and after carrying him for about 3 hours straight I had to admit my back felt like it was going to give way.

He has learnt how to get off the bed and crawl to wherever he likes so he needs to be watched all the time. He knows no fear and it does not matter how high the beds or sofa are he will apply the same method that he learned from the low mattress and try to climb down.

Although he has laughed less these days but he has certainly smiled much more. He is definitely much more fun to play with bearing the back ache on my part of course.

Here's wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!!

Birthday!!

I’m sure those of you who have been following this blog long enough will know that Isaac’s birthday is coming up. For the benefit of those who have no idea, his birthday happens to be on Boxing Day!

Our friends, family and even readers of this blog have expressed interest as to how we are going to celebrate for him and how is the preparation so far.

To be honest, at the time of posting the Mrs has only confirmed a Wednesday meeting with the Manager of Ben & Jerry’s at Vivo City for further discussion and possibly leaving a deposit. So literally nothing was done or confirmed yet. It is very unlike the Mrs to leave things to this late but I think I need to clarify on her behalf.

Originally I was the one who did not want to do anything because my logic was Isaac does not really have any friends yet. So it will turn out to be just an excuse for us adults with the family in tow to meet up and gossip. No offense to all of you who are celebrating or have celebrated your kid’s birthday but I thought it was rather meaningless from Isaac’s point of view. I thought we should leave it be until he has his own friends in the form of classmates in the future.

However almost everyone around me, the Mrs included feel otherwise. They all feel that we must celebrate Isaac’s birthday especially this first one. The minimum we should do is have a dinner with the immediate families, i.e. Isaac’s grandparents, aunts and uncles from both sides.

Majority of the people of course prefer something a little more party like so the Mrs had been kept busy thinking and researching what we can do. It was not easy largely due to our intention to hold it on Christmas Day so most places and food will not come cheap.

Another reason was due to the Mrs’s condition also since we were not even sure if she can make it should there be a party as she was supposed to be resting in bed till she delivers. So everything was held back and by the time I was convinced to do it for Isaac we’re worried most people cannot make it since it is Christmas Day after all.

Now we have more or less an idea already and that is to hold the party at Ben & Jerry’s where we will cater food, order a birthday cake and of course everyone young and old gets ice cream. The Mrs is now busy sourcing for caterer because we do not want to have a Christmas menu and that is proving to be a challenge.

At one stage I suggested to the Mrs that maybe I should invite all you readers to the birthday party as a get together and meet Isaac in person session but since there is no way of knowing how many, if any of you would like to come or be able to make it, I decided it is probably not a good idea. I’m sure you’ll appreciate it is impossible for me to cater the food with the attendance unknown.

However if you are in town and not too busy attending church or visiting your relatives and happen to be in Vivo City on Christmas Day, do drop by Ben & Jerry’s between 2 to 4pm and I will buy your children ice creams.

With all the Christmas decorations wherever we go, I am beginning to explain to Isaac that everyone is preparing to celebrate his birthday. I tell him that whenever he sees such decorations it means that his birthday is just around the corner.

Oh and speaking of Christmas and birthday, all friends and relatives reading this, please be advised that Isaac will be expecting 2 presents from each of you because presents for Christmas and his birthday should be treated as separate issues.

Lastly I would like to announce a new tradition in the Tan’s household and that is each kid of mine will have to get their mother, namely the Mrs a present on their birthdays. This is to thank her for all the ‘sufferings’ that she had to go through carrying them to term and also for delivering them to this world. Personally I do not know anyone practicing this but I would like my kids to do that for their mum although it can only commence when they are slightly older.