Fatherhood

Wow!! How time flies!!! Isaac has celebrated his 1st month and I am back in the office working full time now!

Many things have happened during this last month but I was so busy that I did not have the time to gather my thoughts and do a proper posting. All I did was to make mental notes to blog about this and that but just could quite get down to doing it!

First thing on my mind to blog about was naturally my experience and feeling as a 1st time dad!

I like to take pride in the fact that I am a hands-on dad. Meaning I would like to have bragging rights for bathing, cleaning my Baby as well as changing the diapers. This was also the reason why I was very enthusiastic about signing up for and attending the ante-natal classes. The only “regret” was I could not feed him since he was breastfed by the Mrs.

Anyway I took the refresher course when we were still in the hospital on how to bath Baby. Since my maid was not going to be able to come in time, this job landed on my lap. Not that I am complaining but I had to admit I was a little afraid at first but after about 3 days I would like to say I have mastered the art of bathing baby. During these few days of hands-on learning I believed I had experienced all there is to experience. For example, Isaac urinated at (I stress it’s ‘AT’ not ‘ON’) me (ah……, the joy of having a boy!!) while he was lying down on the changing table just when I was removing his diapers before bathing him. I also had Isaac pooped in the tub when I was bathing him. There were cases where I was not quick enough with the diaper after his bath and he soiled the blanket under him.

I have to say that when you see him in the water with his security blanket (Mrs Wong’s students will know what I’m referring to) and not crying, there is this sense of joy and achievement! Woo hoo!! The temperature is just right and maybe, just maybe he is comfortable and confident of my grip!!!

I was also the designated diaper changer as soon as we got home and I swear to you all that after 2 days of changing diapers, I was smelling his poop everywhere and almost every minute. I thought the constant exposure to the poop has permanently altered my sense of smell. I will lay in bed with the Mrs and out of the blue I will ask if she can smell Isaac’s poop. However I now learn that the constant exposure to his poop actually had the reverse effect on my nose. Instead of smelling it always and forever, I am now immune to it. I am no longer that sensitive to it. I can only truly smell it when I open up the diaper. Workman compensation from the Mrs perhaps?

Usually I am the one tasked with burping Baby after each feed with the exception of the graveyard shift. The Mrs is usually kind and nice enough to let me sleep through unless she is really tired or when Isaac is exceptionally cranky. So now I am able to tell from Isaac’s face whenever he is mediating to go for his number 2. I affectionately refer to it is as his “Pan Sai” (Hokkien) look. He looks as if he is concentrating really hard at trying to separate this particular air molecule from the millions in the air.

I think so far the largest joy that I can derive from caring Baby is when he falls asleep in my arms on my chest. Baby is usually most cranky between around midnight to about 3am. Since the Mrs had to wake up to feed him at least two more times in the early morning, I will normal ask her to turn in after the late night feed and I will try and coax him to sleep. For some reason he just will not sleep after the night feed and after having his diaper changed. The best part is he does not like me to sit down either when carrying him. I don’t have to walk about or sway or dance. Standing alone will do the trick but just when you thought that he is asleep you decided to sit on the bed, he will turn cranky again.

After about 2 weeks, I believed I have mastered the art of sitting down without him knowing. It’s either that or he must have figured he had had enough fun with his own man! Then came the problem of putting him down also. Whenever I transferred him to the cot or put him down on our bed, he will wake up cranky within 10 minutes too. So I had to literally hold him for a few hours. Since the TV programs in these early hours are usually repeats or not interesting, I got myself the perfect solution to keep me from falling asleep. You might want to share this with your husbands. It’s called Football Manager 2008 and the cost, a mere S$61.90. I installed in on my laptop and now I can hold him in one arm while the other can click away to try and dominate the virtual football world. Probably the best S$62 I will ever spend.

Anyway back to him sleeping on my chest. There are times when the Mrs is simply too tired so she will hand Isaac to me after the early morning feed and I will burp him and then coax him to sleep. Usually I am half gone too so as soon as he allows me to sit on my bed, I will slowly put him on my chest and see him bobbing up and down on my chest as I breathe. And very soon both of us will fall asleep till the time for the next feed.

See him there, defenseless and without a care in the world I can feel this urge building within me to protect him against whatever there is to come in the future. Maybe I have truly entered fatherhood after all.