Remember

I know for a fact that many of you readers are pregnant and some of you with twins some more. I couldn’t be happier for all of you. Some are you are probably pregnant for the first time hence there are many questions and worries which is normal. While our current journey doesn’t quite apply, you are welcome to go back to the beginning of this blog to find out what we went through.

If there is one advice that I can give you besides the usual “be careful”; “rest more”; “eat healthy”; “don’t jump”; “cannot lift heavy stuffs” etc, it will definitely be “enjoy and remember every moment”. I do not believe this is something that you hear very often from women who went through the whole ordeal. At least we didn’t.

Honestly the entire pregnancy will go by very quickly. We keep hearing parents say how times fly but from our experience this feeling actually starts to apply the minute you’re pregnant. As with all things we do not feel it until the whole event is over. It is usually related more to looking back.

It really didn’t dawn on me until recently when I have readers asked me about our pregnancies. I realize then that I could not answer most of the questions. Some of the more dramatic incidents I do remember of course. Episodes such as how the Mrs was spotting for the first time and being inexperienced then we were really worried (incidentally this is one of my favourite post) and of course the time when we were so close to losing the twins. Looking at the twins now it still gives me goose bumps whenever I recall the entire terrible incident (one of the most touching post and comments page), how helpless we were and how hard the Mrs was crying.

Ok, let’s not scare you ladies. I remembered I once blogged about having positive image and not listen to all the “chickens” throughout your pregnancies (some of you readers will remember this post about chickens and eagles). Don’t let these “chickens” influence you with all their negative, sad and horrible stories about so and so and such and such. If it is not going to help with your pregnancy then tell them don’t bother to share.

What I really want to tell you is to try and remember each moment and document what you are experiencing if possible. Believe me when I tell you this; with so many things happening and so much changes to the environment and your body, you will be hard-pressed to recall in details once the dust has settled. This is exactly what we are experiencing right now. Most things just seem so …………. vague. Many a time we need to remind each other so it is a good thing that we experienced both pregnancies together.

The other good thing is of course how I managed to keep a blog and post on a weekly basis on the happenings during both pregnancies. So now when I cannot answer most of your questions I can always direct you to the earlier posts. For your sake I wish the titles are a little more precise and helpful about the topic but I have always preferred to keep it to one word to give it a sense of “huh”.

Things that I cannot remember are often related to the time scale also. So if you are looking at asking when did we do what scan and when did we do a certain test, I’m telling you now my mind draws a blank. They all seem rather close together but at the same time seem rather well spread out during the pregnancy.

I do remember something of the scans and tests of course. Details such as how long they took hence how long I had to wait to how expensive they were when we saw the bill. But if you mention the name of the test of scan to me, you might as well be speaking French to me as far as I’m concerned. That is how hopeless I am.

But by remembering I am not only referring to the name of the tests, scans, procedures and medicines. I am referring more to how you feel and experience at each stage of the journey. How much of the laksa or curry you have puked for example leaving such wonderful after taste that you will not crave for that bowl of laksa or curry perhaps till after the pregnancy. What about how many times you had to get up and drag yourself to the toilet only to find that you really need to get that 20ml of pee out of your bladder. Or the many sleepless nights that you have due to the weight and position of your child which is made worse by the solo performance (read snoring) by your husband? Who can forget the breathlessness that you experienced making every shopping trip so unforgettable? Suddenly covering Vivo City or Ngee Ann City does not seem like such a good idea after all.

Not too long ago the Mrs made a scary remark to her colleague again. She said she missed the days of being pregnant and we all know what happened the last time she said something like that. I believe she is really just trying to relieve the moment in her mind instead of missing being pregnant.

So ladies, please take my advice. Enjoy each and every stage of your pregnancy now and most importantly try and find your own way to document so you can remember in years to come. It is truly an amazing journey and experience and we all know that good things often pass us by too quickly.

Quiet

It is the Mrs’s birthday today and for once the celebration has taken a back seat. It is not intentional of course but having 3 kids plus my busy schedule we have no choice but to have a quiet celebration this time. I will certainly try my best to make it up one way or another.

We do not celebrate it lavishly each year but at the very least we do go out for a nice dinner at a nicer restaurant. Up to a few years ago I would even pay attention to what she lacked or liked for months leading up to her birthday and then I would buy them and surprised her during dinner. These were limited to tech gadgets which I am definitely more familiar then her and as a result I have been rather successful during those years.

However once the idea in that department has run its course (how many cameras, laptops and handphones etc can one buy as gifts for their wives right) I reverted back to letting her pick her own presents. I have always said that she is picky when it comes to her purchases. Even today after being married for 10 years I dare not go out and buy something, be it jewelleries, handbags, shoes or clothes, as a surprise birthday present.

She is particular about colours, materials, size, shapes etc. With all these considerations I believe most guys will agree with me that it is perhaps better for her to pick what she likes and I simply foot the bill. Sure it may not be as romantic but something’s gotta give right? The idea of receiving a surprise present may be romantic but in reality I’m afraid it is often overrated and short lived, right up to the point of unwrapping the gift of course.

Fortunately and unfortunately at the same time, the price tag does not equate to whether she will like the gift or not. Take diamonds for example, most ladies certainly like them but that doesn’t mean that by splashing out 5 figures on it will guarantee the end result. While the price may cover the basics such as carat, clarity, cut, colour and certificate, the final hurdle of design is often still a gamble. The number of claws on that ring may have a direct effect of whether she leaves her own claw marks on you and also where specifically.

To those of you who are newly wed or have no kids yet, just when you think that selecting your own present is as unromantic as it gets, you will realize that you really haven’t got a clue until you add a couple of kids in the mix.

While I am still up for going out for some fine dining her heart is always with the kids. Throw in the fact that we have to trouble my parents to help care for the kids, going out and enjoying ourselves does not seem so nice all of a sudden.

With the heavy workload that both of us face, we really cherish whatever remaining time we have with the kids each evening and by the time they sleep we are mentally drained ourselves. Weekends are even more precious for these are the only 2 days each week that we actually get to spend more than a few hours with the children. We will usually go out and buy whatever we need to buy for the children so our own shopping has taken a lesser priority.

Till today the Mrs has not identified her gift yet and plus the fact that tonight is my first day of attending a course we cannot have our dinner out even if we wanted to. So this is the first time we are not celebrating her birthday.

There is one saving grace though or at least I would like to think so. I have been sending her flowers on her birthday and our wedding anniversary for the longest time despite her telling me not to and this year is no exception. While completing this post is she has already MMS me the photo of the bouquet.

A bouquet of white lilies!

Even though we are not celebrating her birthday this year I would like to state for the record that it does not mean that I do not think it is any less important. It is largely down to my own poor time management and planning but I promise I will do a much better job next year.

With the kids growing up I imagine that with each year the celebrations can only get more enjoyable and better.

Happy Birthday My Love!

Are we made to do things backwards before we learn how to do them right? Take for example, babies will usually learn to crawl backwards before they move on to the leaping stage and finally they are able to crawl forward. The twins are now crawling all over the place and half the time they’re headed in different directions from each other. Then there is the shaking of heads before the nodding. Isaac is a classic example for he will shake his head every time we asked him something but he has since learned to nod his head when in agreement.

Now his favourite word is ‘No’. We can ask him anything or give him whatever instructions and he will either shake his head or say no.

Each morning he will knock on our door before letting himself in and we always ask him to hug us and give us a kiss and he will sing out no. I said sing because instead of the firm no his version comes in a rather softer tone, higher pitch and almost to the point of singing.

Below are some of the typical exchanges with him on a daily basis.

Us: Isaac, let’s hold hands there are cars around

Isaac: No

Us: Come Isaac, kiss daddy and mummy

Isaac: No

Us: Isaac, finish your food first

Isaac: No

Us: Isaac, call Mama

Isaac: No

Us: Isaac

Isaac: No

Ok, the last one was an exaggeration but you get the drift. Most of the time he will shake his head as well just in case his ‘no’ is not taken seriously.

The hardest thing to get him to do these days is to eat. For some reason he has decided he prefers to be on liquid diet and as a result he will reject most solid food. He has lost interest in food and will only take a few bites of it before shaking his head at our attempts to feed him more.

Sometimes he will hold the food in his mouth for minutes before spitting it out after the flavour has been sucked out. Other times he will stuff his mouth with food such as raisins, chew on them, turn them all mashy and sticky before signaling to you that he wants to spit it out. I quickly learned that when feeding him we really need to have tissues on standby for he is not big on waiting for you to get the tissue in position.

During his Sunday enrichment class he is always the first off the table and he will bring his own bowl and cup to the tub and proceed to wash his hands. Most would probably think that he is a fast eater but if they only knew he fed me most of the biscuits and raisins.

We tried feeding him everything hoping to find the one thing that will tickle his palate but we have no such luck so far. Whatever we eat he eats too other than the raw sushi and sashimi as well as the medium rare steak. We have tried spicy, sour, sweet, bitter and salty too but with no success.

Dr B our PD said that it is just a phase and to encourage him to eat more solids we should consider cutting down on his milk intake. When he is hungry then hopefully he’ll be more receptive towards whatever we feed him.

Thankfully he is showing signs of improvement lately. He seems to be more willing to try out new food and actually eat a little more also. Our fingers are crossed for him to grow out of this phase soonest possible.

The other thing that he is lagging behind is his speech. He is only saying a few single syllable words and naturally most of them are being used on him on a daily basis. Words such as ‘Wait’, 'Wet' and ‘Go’. This however does not reflect his vocabulary for he understands perfectly what we say and is able to carry out instructions meted out in both English and Cantonese.

We can see that he is already mouthing the words so it is a matter of time before the flood gate opens and then we will look back to the peace and quiet that we have now. The irony in life just continues.