Punishment

It might be a little too early to discuss punishment now since Isaac is only coming to 20 months old. Hence this is not really about him. What brought about this topic was an episode that we witnessed during one of our dinners at Vivo City.

Those of you who read this blog will probably know that due to the space Vivo is probably one of our favourite haunt these days. We usually like to go to the Asian Kitchen at the basement for dinner and we always reserve the table just outside the restaurant so that we have more space for the high chair and prams.

Anyway it was during one of our usual dinners there that this happened. Just when we were about done a family of 4 came and sat behind us. It was a pair of parents, a grandmother and a young girl that cannot be more than 6 or 7 years old.

When we got up to leave both Ani and I witnessed the mother pinning the girl's hand down on the table while hammering it with a tumbler. The mother hit her for about 5 or 6 times and all the while the girl was wailing. I could see that her hand was all red from the torture. I believe if the mum were to be the one at the receiving end she too will be crying let alone her poor child. Frankly I do not know what the little girl did to deserve such severe punishment but then again I do not think any child would have done anything to deserve such treatment. It was so bad that although the Mrs heard the commotion she dared not turn around to look.

Maybe some of you will feel that it is probably easy for me to blog here and criticise them but even though I am close to losing my patience with my 3 kids sometimes, I know for a fact that I will not resort to such punishment. I believe for a parent to mete out such punishment the problem will mostly lie with the adult rather than the child. Perhaps the adult need to learn some anger management.

Having said that I am actually the type that believe in "spare the rod and spoil the child" philosophy but this does not mean that I will bring a cane along wherever we go. By the way we have actually seen parents bringing canes out with them in shopping malls before. I do not believe the Western way of only grounding the child and not spanking them at all will work although I have not decided on how I’ll discipline my kids yet.

Another incident we saw was just as dramatic if not more. We were driving along Commonwealth Ave West when we saw a car stopped outside one of the main gates outside the Singapore Polytechnic. Next thing we saw was the driver, presumably the father, came out and open the rear passenger door and took out a bag, some books and other stuffs and started hurling them over the gate. There was a little girl crying and trying to stop him. Getting very concerned the Mrs asked me to go around and swing by again and if things looked to be out of hand she was all ready to call the police. When we came back there was another car stopped behind the original one and a man was seen trying to calm the driver down while the mum and the girl tried to retrieve the bag and stuffs. This man definitely needs help and I hope for his family's sake he is seeking treatment.

I heard on radio once that the Flying Dutchman does not believe in the good cop bad cop routine because both parents should be able to dish out the punishment there and then when the child misbehaved instead of having to wait till the disciplinarian comes back from work. By then the impact would not have been the same. I tend to agree with that. However at this point in time I do not think I am capable of punishing Isaac for all his naughty little habits. I can't help but smile back whenever he flashes his cheeky look. The Mrs is much better in this department. She will definitely have to be the bad cop for now.

I keep hearing about the Terrible Twos and Isaac is months away from turning two so maybe I should start getting help on the kind of punishment that a 2 year old can comprehend. These days if Isaac does not get his way he will cry and lie on the floor but thankfully he has not done so in public. Super Nanny will recommend me to identify a corner in the house as a punishment corner where the child cannot move out of for a give period of time but I honestly don't think Isaac will understand that yet.

So all you experienced parents, how do you punish your 2 year old and ensure that they understand what they are punished for at the same time?

Late!

In case some of you get creative and ahead of yourselves, NO this is not what you think. It is not about that kind of “late” and we are expecting again! God, no!

I guess it is due to the way we announced our pregnancies to our close friends, always over group dinner, these days whenever we meet up for dinner and when I told them I have something to say, they will usually go “Pregnant again hah?!” The best part is they say it with such enthusiasm the people next table could have easily mistaken it as our first. Each time we will have to tell them a big ‘NO!’ and reaffirm that we are not trying already but I guess hearing it is not good enough. So here it is guys, in writing.

“We wanted 3 and we have 3 so we’re DONE!! The factory is closed!!”

Anyway back to my original post.

This is something that I wanted to blog about since before we even have the twins which makes the title even more apt.

I actually took pride that I was almost never late for anything besides work but that is a complete different thing altogether. As a matter of fact I used to be early on most occasions because I really dislike having to wait for people who practice rubber time. This was until I attended a sales seminar and the trainer said that being early is also a form of poor time management as we should be on time and not waste precious minutes waiting. Since then I always try to be on time, not too early and never late.

This all changed after we had Isaac. I am not sure if this only applies to us or maybe some of you parents share the same sentiment. Somehow after we have a child we are always late for all gatherings.

It is not like we have gotten lazier or fatter or simply cannot be bothered. We actually plan and time and make it a point to leave by a certain time so that we will not be late but sadly we fail each time.

When there was only Isaac we had to pack his bag and fill it with diapers, change of clothes, milk, water (both normal and hot), biscuits, toys, tissue, wet wipes and God knows what. Even when we had the bags packed the night before we still find ourselves rushing to clean and change him before dashing out the door to the car hoping that I can make up lost time with my driving.

Now that we have 3 kids, you can only imagine the kind of mad rush that we have to go through each time. We have told so many people that going out these days is a really big project. Whatever we had to pack for Isaac, we have to triple it now. Most of the time we have to go out with 2 bags of the kids stuffs. I have to clarify that the Mrs and Ani will usually organize things way before but it is still hard to leave at the designated time due to the children sleeping. As much as possible we try not to wake them up so most of the time we waited impatiently.

The moment they’re up, it’s different roles for each of us. We will have to take turn to change ourselves as well as change all the babies. Whoever is ready will have to carry the babies and make last minute check before we dash out of the door. On the way to the venue we will be busy texting our friends to apologise.

With 3 babies sleeping at different time of the day it is quite challenging to even go out at all. Having said that, we still managed to go out for a total of about 6 hours with all 3 babies in tow. This happened after one of Isaac’s trial enrichment class on a particular weekend. By the time we got home both adults and babies are exhausted.

I will blog about the trial classes that we have attended after Isaac has started his actual enrichment class. In the meantime below are some of the most recent pictures of our babies!

The big boy that Isaac is now!

Although big boy now but he still has his infamous cheeky smile!!

Doesn't Luke look like Isaac?

The 3 little pigs! Actually more like a pig and 2 oxes!

Notice how happy Isaac is with his siblings?

The helpers that truly adore them!

The Mrs and our babies!!!

Our first ever family portrait!