Monday, 24 March 2008


I am going to divert away from issues related to babies this time but I'm sure it is still something that all of you can relate to. In fact maybe a few of you might even find the topic endearing.

Don’t be fooled by the title because nope, I’m not talking about the confectionery here. You should know by now that sometimes my post title is not quite what it seems. Anyway I, unlike the Mrs, am the “eat to live” type of person as most of you should know by now so I will not normally blog about food.

To be precise I am actually talking about a syndrome here, The Muffin Syndrome!!

For the benefit of you who do not know what it is, like the Devil, it goes by a few other names too. Such as “Love Handles”, “Spare Tyre” and “Pot Belly”. I am not counting “Beer Belly” because if you really look at them, there is a significant difference.

When I got married I found the Mrs secretly harbouring this idea that I should fatten up. By now, we’re into our 9th year of marriage, this idea is no longer a secret and truth be told it is not even an idea anymore. It has been acted upon and there is result!!

About 3 years ago we saw the most significant result (gain) as I jumped from a waist 32 weighing at a decent 74 kg to a waist 33 or 34 (depending on the cut and brand) and weighing in at 76 kg. All these mind you were “achieved” in under a year and without warning my neck has also grown (no, not longer). My shirt collar used to be 15.5 inches. Now I have to upsize to 16 inches.

Yes, I have contracted the Muffin Syndrome, you know, the one where one’s belly actually overflows over one’s belt?!?! I know I have not been exercising enough (alright, who am I kidding here right?!?! It’s more like NEVER!!) but somehow I feel the Mrs did have a part to play in all this weight gain hence some of the “credit” must go to her too.

Not sure if this is supposed to be comforting but lately I realized that I am not alone and I am beginning to suspect that there is this universal (ok I may have exaggerated a little. More like nation wide) conspiracy where the wives are all trying to fatten up their spouses. I am beginning to see my friends and colleagues being infected too and the interesting thing here is this Muffin Syndrome usually only happens after one gets married (happily that is).

Do wives really like to fatten their husbands up? Surely they can’t be that insecure about themselves to resort to fatten their other halves up to turn away the “would be” distractions out there right?

Or maybe it is our own undoing. Did we let it all go now that we are happily married with kids? Perhaps it is the more prosperous look that a father should carry?

In my case the Mrs was always complaining that I was too skinny and by putting on weight I will be more “huggable”. I swear she has this sense of joy, achievement and even satisfaction whenever a friend or anyone for that matter comments that I have put on weight. She almost always beamed like a proud mother! Oh and I say mother because the same applies to Isaac (I will show you pictures of his tummy another day).

It didn’t quite dawn on me that this could be a nation wide thing until one evening when we went out with my friend Mike and Kat for dinner. Mike was in this T-shirt which did nothing to hide his tummy. If anything it actually enhanced it due to its cutting (no offence buddy! You know I’m not much better off heh!)

*Mike has recently been make known of this blog because he is about to become a father himself so I thought he can learn a few things from you ladies just like I did.

Anyway the Mrs teased that he looked more pregnant than Kat, his wife. The Mrs said 4 months. Instead of getting an embarrassed or offended look that a husband will give should his friend gave the same comment on his wife, Kat actually smiled rather contently and placed her hand on his tummy rubbing away.

At that moment it all became clear to me. It’s as if the switch in my mind was turned on. You wives really do not mind your husbands putting on weight. Dare I suggest that you may actually secretly yearn for it?

Due to Kat’s pregnancy, Mike is also putting on more weight as we will normally expect from any husbands whose wife is pregnant. Mike calls this Sympathy Weight.

As for me, at least Isaac is already out hence I do not have to worry about the Sympathy Weight anymore. Guess the only thing left for me to do is to eat less and take out the old track shoes and swimming trunks……… or NOT!


missmoon said...

haha, Dylan, you have my sympathies. but every word of it is true. i secretly yearn for my hubs to put on weight too. the muffin syndrome seems to hold true for men after they're married.

hey, we ladies can't be the only ones piling on those layers, right? gotta be fair. heh.

Nicole said...

Hi Dylan,
The first time I got pregnant, derrick seems even more pregnant than me! He told me that he gained 7kg and he have not shed it off till date. I think he even gained somemore when I was pregnant the second time. *giggles*

But NO, I don't secretly yearn for him to be fat. I want him to slim down! I always tell him, 'I'm a mother of two and I'm not so fat, what reason do you have to be fat'? Hahahaha....

Anonymous said...

Ai yoh gor, told u already, go swimming with me! I even volunteer to bring Isaac to the pool!

Yah, I remember seeing Kat rubbing Mike's tummy like a proud mother hen. Ha ha... And dare I say, I like it that Chris is round too. Somehow, more endearing though the same cannot be said for me or us girls for the matter! LOL

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

Whatever you've said here are quite true... when i 1st got married, I wanted my hubby to get fatter too - so that i hv a more comfortable (walking) bed.

However, I've come to realise the side effects of getting fat: health being compromised. I've since changed my loving wrds (you like tis right? eat some more...) to nagging wrds (watch ur cholestrol, watch ur blood pressure, watch ur uric acid...) oops!

noshidoshi said...

true! but for me, its because i want people to think that i've been feeding him well and taking good care of him. esp impt for MIL to see! hahaha.

my hubby is much chubbier now after marriage, esp the cheeks, and he has a tummy!! SO cute, i tell u. haha.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cynthia,

So is it still a secret yearning for your husband to put on weight? Or is it like my case where it is an open secret? Ha Ha

Any resistance from him? I know I am putting hell of a fight but seem to be fighting a losing battle.

I really wonder if you really piled on some weight like you husband. Ha Ha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Yeah I still remembered you mentioned in one of my earlier post before on Derrick gaining 7kg. If I remember correctly that was like an alarm bell going off in my mind! Ha Ha Ha

I can think of a reason for him to be "fat" - happiness! ;0)

A Husband's Voice said...

Eh Sis,

Of all the posts that you have been reading here, you have to choose to give feedback on this particular one where I own up to "suffering" from the Muffin Syndrome huh?!?!

We're definitely bringing Isaac to the pool but doubt I will be swimming much though.

All you ladies have double standards lah. Want the husbands to be fat and round but trying so hard to stay slim.

Maybe we men should start a new trend and that is for single men to only go for plumb women. Just like the ancient days where size 10 and above is considered pretty! Hee Hee

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nana,

Since I am an average husband with a very normal and average family, I would have to say most of what I post will be pretty much relevant and true. Ha Ha

I will make sure the Mrs reads the second half of your comment! Not that I want her to nag but to enforce the health issue although I'm sure she'll know for me it's more of a vanity than health issue.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Shida,

Actually I think to a certain extend maybe the Mrs thinks like you. She will have this sense of achievement when I gain weight. It shows that we're happy and that she is feeding me well.

Now, why is it that you ladies will find your husbands cute when they're fatter now but you will probably not be interested in them should they be courting you in the current size? Hmmmm.......

noshidoshi said...

because when we first start dating and still showing off our bfs, we want our friends to think we caught one hot dude! hahaha.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Shida,

So now you want your friends to know that you managed to turn one hot dude into a fat dude?!?! Hahahahaha

noshidoshi said...

hahaha damn, never thought of it that way!!

but its ok, as long as im not getting fat alone.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Shida,

In your case maybe it is acceptable since both of you are getting prosperous together.

For my case, I seemed to be the one gaining and the Mrs is trying to lose but at the same time prefers for me not to?!?!?!

Jacqueline said...

so so true! i should ask my hubby to read up your blog so that he would not feel DEPRESSED over the weight gain! LOL! he had alr gained like 15kg after 2yrs of marriage..

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi there, (name?)

Er..... actually I do not think it is a good idea for your husband to read this particular post because his weight gain is really quite a bit. 15kg!!! in 2 years!!

I hope it is a typo error with a dot missing. Maybe it should be 1.5kg in 2 years. Hahahaha

Anyway keep reading ya?

Unknown said...

i do wish tat my hb will put on more weight but in no hurry. at present, my dad is a typical muffin man. :D

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi jj,

So you are hoping for your husband to catch up with your dad?! Does he know and is he worried? Hahahaha

Unknown said...

haha. i dun think my hb's worried. he's the kind who wld put on weight at the waist line and everywhere else remains normal. :P

A Husband said...

er.... JJ,

Having an ever expanding waistline but having the rest of the body maintaining the same is also a worry lor?!?! Hahahaha