Muffin

I am going to divert away from issues related to babies this time but I'm sure it is still something that all of you can relate to. In fact maybe a few of you might even find the topic endearing.

Don’t be fooled by the title because nope, I’m not talking about the confectionery here. You should know by now that sometimes my post title is not quite what it seems. Anyway I, unlike the Mrs, am the “eat to live” type of person as most of you should know by now so I will not normally blog about food.

To be precise I am actually talking about a syndrome here, The Muffin Syndrome!!

For the benefit of you who do not know what it is, like the Devil, it goes by a few other names too. Such as “Love Handles”, “Spare Tyre” and “Pot Belly”. I am not counting “Beer Belly” because if you really look at them, there is a significant difference.

When I got married I found the Mrs secretly harbouring this idea that I should fatten up. By now, we’re into our 9th year of marriage, this idea is no longer a secret and truth be told it is not even an idea anymore. It has been acted upon and there is result!!

About 3 years ago we saw the most significant result (gain) as I jumped from a waist 32 weighing at a decent 74 kg to a waist 33 or 34 (depending on the cut and brand) and weighing in at 76 kg. All these mind you were “achieved” in under a year and without warning my neck has also grown (no, not longer). My shirt collar used to be 15.5 inches. Now I have to upsize to 16 inches.

Yes, I have contracted the Muffin Syndrome, you know, the one where one’s belly actually overflows over one’s belt?!?! I know I have not been exercising enough (alright, who am I kidding here right?!?! It’s more like NEVER!!) but somehow I feel the Mrs did have a part to play in all this weight gain hence some of the “credit” must go to her too.

Not sure if this is supposed to be comforting but lately I realized that I am not alone and I am beginning to suspect that there is this universal (ok I may have exaggerated a little. More like nation wide) conspiracy where the wives are all trying to fatten up their spouses. I am beginning to see my friends and colleagues being infected too and the interesting thing here is this Muffin Syndrome usually only happens after one gets married (happily that is).

Do wives really like to fatten their husbands up? Surely they can’t be that insecure about themselves to resort to fatten their other halves up to turn away the “would be” distractions out there right?

Or maybe it is our own undoing. Did we let it all go now that we are happily married with kids? Perhaps it is the more prosperous look that a father should carry?

In my case the Mrs was always complaining that I was too skinny and by putting on weight I will be more “huggable”. I swear she has this sense of joy, achievement and even satisfaction whenever a friend or anyone for that matter comments that I have put on weight. She almost always beamed like a proud mother! Oh and I say mother because the same applies to Isaac (I will show you pictures of his tummy another day).

It didn’t quite dawn on me that this could be a nation wide thing until one evening when we went out with my friend Mike and Kat for dinner. Mike was in this T-shirt which did nothing to hide his tummy. If anything it actually enhanced it due to its cutting (no offence buddy! You know I’m not much better off heh!)

*Mike has recently been make known of this blog because he is about to become a father himself so I thought he can learn a few things from you ladies just like I did.

Anyway the Mrs teased that he looked more pregnant than Kat, his wife. The Mrs said 4 months. Instead of getting an embarrassed or offended look that a husband will give should his friend gave the same comment on his wife, Kat actually smiled rather contently and placed her hand on his tummy rubbing away.

At that moment it all became clear to me. It’s as if the switch in my mind was turned on. You wives really do not mind your husbands putting on weight. Dare I suggest that you may actually secretly yearn for it?

Due to Kat’s pregnancy, Mike is also putting on more weight as we will normally expect from any husbands whose wife is pregnant. Mike calls this Sympathy Weight.

As for me, at least Isaac is already out hence I do not have to worry about the Sympathy Weight anymore. Guess the only thing left for me to do is to eat less and take out the old track shoes and swimming trunks……… or NOT!