Friday, 20 February 2009

Overwhelmed!!

A little late with this post but I am sure all of you will understand and forgive me since Hayley is home with us. Those of you who are on my friends list in Facebook would have known by now. She was discharged on Sunday, 15th February after having spent 12 days in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). We were there bright and early at about 10am to meet Dr K, her PD to discuss her progress and then confirm her coming home. It was such a happy occasion and Luke was there to help receive his sister home.

Maybe she knew we were all waiting for her to come home because the last 2 days leading up to her discharge she increased her milk intake from the bottle instead of relying heavily on the tube. The minimum requirement for her to come home was she must be able to drink from the bottle every feed. In order not to stress her out Dr K ordered her to be fed every 2 hours instead of 3 and I guess that helped.

The first day home was a little challenging for us especially during the night and early hours of the next morning. Luke is on a 3 hourly routine while Hayley is still sticking to her 2 hourly feed. What this means is that there are times when we have to feed every hour on the hour. This happened at 10pm (Hayley); 11pm (Luke) and midnight (Hayley) followed by 2am (Luke & Hayley) before we go back to 4am (Hayley); 5am (Luke) and 6am (Hayley). So there was hardly any sleep for the both of us on the first night.

I had to take leave from work the next day to try and help the Mrs establish a routine or system so that when I am back at work she and Ani can handle the 3 of them.

First thing to do will be to try and adjust Hayley to 3 hourly feed instead of 2 so that they can be fed ideally about half hour apart. This will be less taxing on us in the night. We did this by calculating the milk required for a 3 hourly routine and then see if she could finish the amount. Being the good girl that she is, she finished what we had prepared and it did last her for about 3 hours before she needed her milk again. We monitored this during the day and by evening we were confident she will be able to join Luke in a 3 hourly feed from then on. One problem solved.

As the Mrs is still not producing enough milk to sustain the both of them, we have opted to go for half breast milk and half formula for the 2 of them. They will be alternated between the two kinds of milk. I am glad and proud that the Mrs is open with the idea of giving them formula as well and not all banged up on total breast feeding. She has adopted the "provide what I can" attitude.

Having both of them home has caused confusion when it comes to feeding and changing diapers and knowing who pooped and who did not. Initially we will sat there and stared into the air trying to recall which of them drank formula and which was on the expressed breast milk. It is really quite hard to recall when we were preparing and feeding them so often. It is a little like trying to recall where I parked the car every morning. It is always the same carpark so sometimes I get confused with where I parked last night with 2 nights before (then again maybe this only happens to me). By evening of the 1st day that Hayley was back we decided to come up with a simple table for recording so that we can keep track of who drank which type of milk at what time and when were the diapers changed. Another problem solved.

So far the two of them have been rather easy to handle (knock on wood now everyone) just as expected since all they do are eat, sleep and shit. However there are times at night that they just will not sleep in the cot but will sleep soundly with us on the bed. In the Mrs's words, "it is like they are allergic to the mattress in the cot". The minute we put them down they will be tossing and turning before crying but when we carry them to our bed they can lie still and sleep on the mattress.

I was commenting one day that actually the twins are nice to us because they seemed to take turn to cry and demand to be carried at night. It was one twin this night and the other twin the next. It is as if one twin will tell the other the adventure he / she had on our bed the night before and the other twin will try his / her luck the next night. The Mrs was commenting that they can nicer if they will both be good and not demand to be carried at night. To which I replied we should be grateful they do not both cry and demand to be carried at the same time.

Speaking of crying and carrying and feeding, the last few days have been hard on the Mrs. Most of you who follow this blog will know that the Mrs is the kind of person that does not like to stay cooped up at home. Even during confinement she will go out for a short while now and then. This time it is not so easy anymore since we have twins. While she can just pick up a baby, be it Isaac or Luke, and head out for her shopping and running of errands, she simply cannot manage 2 babies. As a result she has been a little down lately.

I believe it is not easy since all she does the entire day is feed and change the twins and for most part of the day not leave the room. We tried to occupy her time by giving her projects such as planning the first month celebration for the twins and also to put up pictures on our wall but it did not exactly lift her spirit. I try to be home earlier than usual to take over the caring of the babies but I believe she needed a breather. She said that she is overwhelmed!

I was worried that she will get into a depression so last night we agreed that she was to take the car and go out in the evening when I’m home to do her groceries and whatever else she wants. This will hopefully provide her with a little breather. Since I can manage the twins’ feeding and bathing alone and Ani is there in case I needed assistance, I thought she deserved the little break from her mundane routine.

We will be out on Sat for Hayley’s review so I am hoping that we can do a bit more before we come home so the Mrs can get some fresh air and some sun.

On the lighter side of things, Hayley was very cranky last night from midnight till about 2.30am before we fed her so we did not get to sleep till about 3ish. After their feed at 6 in the morning it was Luke's turn to be cranky. Being sleepy and tired I decided to take the easier option and picked him up and brought him to sleep with me on the bed. In the morning when the Mr was up and she asked me which twin I had with me I told her it was Hayley.



Will take more photos of them and upload after their first month celebration.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

i guess you all are overwhelmed, not only the Mrs.... u are working at the same time so it must be difficult to juggle b/n home, work, Mrs, Issac, Hayley, Luke, all at the same time! phew...

tell the Mrs. that she should rest when she needs to, she really needs some personal time as while, though i know it is not easy as she needs to attend to the needs of the twins...

but, why didnt you mention anything abt Issac? how is he taking everything?

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

so glad the twins are doing fine...how's isaac?

Merryn said...

i wonder what is isaac doing while all da 'chaos' is happening? bcoz from experience, a one year old will definitely be a handful and wont leave mummy alone!

mrs is definitely on da higher risk of getting post delivery depression.. i suffered a mild one even though taking care of only one n no twins!

take care to all of u... hope isaac is coping well with all these.. :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Charlene,

I think you are right. We are all overwhelmed to a certain extend. Even Ani has to be a bit more work.

The Mrs is resting enough and it is the 'me' time that she needs at this moment. We'll work something out.

I was smiling to myself when I read your statement about Isaac. Can almost sense your concern in that question.

Isaac is doing well. He is actually oblivious about the twins. He is too young to understand the meaning of siblings.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Anonymous,

Another reader who is very concerned about Isaac. Hahahaha

He is find and oblivious towards his siblings. He does not understand what is going on yet and is happy as ever.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Merryn,

Isaac is being indifferent towards the chaos that is going on around him.

Ani's main task is still to tend to him while the Mrs and I will handle the twins. While the twins are sleeping we will definitely spend some quality time with Isaac.

I understand that with the twins and Isaac being a handful at his age, the Mrs has a higher risk of suffering depression so I am very careful here.

Thanks for your concern and do check back on their progress.

See you around!

Anonymous said...

Hello Dylan
Glad that you have your whole family with you now ;-)
The 1st 2 weeks are usually the most trying period, after that things will just settle down. Glad that the Mrs will be able to take a breather. Really impt to take a break from the babies.
At 1st i was concerned abt Issac too, but apparently he is coping well, that's a relief.
Hope to see their 1st month celebration pic soon
Take care!
Lee

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Lee,

I am happy and relief too that we are whole now.

Ya, we are still feeling our ways around but we should have more or less established a system already.

I understand that it is important for the Mrs to take a break once in a while so we will work something out.

As for Isaac, I guess all you readers are so used to Isaac being the main focus of this blog that when he is not mentioned like now you feel something is amiss but I assure you all that he is happy going by and doing his own thing.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I chanced upon this blog. Congrats. I too have twins (below 1 year old) and a 4 year-old. The first few months were the hardest but it got to be a little better as they grow older. Nevertheless, I'm still lacking sleep.
Pls be supportive of your Mrs. :)

Lionel n Rachel said...

hmm...which is luke & which is hayley in the foto? my guess... the one on the right (wrap in green towel) is luke & the other is hayley...

i laugh when u mistook luke for hayley. i hv a fren who had twins as well. They are both 4 mths now but the mother still cannot distinguish between them both.

came across tis blog abt twins. u might want to check it out:
http://angel.mingox.com

Nicole said...

White towel is meimei?? I could be wrong but the baby in white towel have a very girlish look. Pardon me if I'm wrong. Haha!

Wat I did for my girls' feeding back then, was, I used a recording book. It's especially helpful when you have to recall when's the last time you feed her, what time, how much, etc. It's also good when you go to the PD and he/she asked you about the feeding pattern. It's especially good since you have twins and Isaac. Hope that helps.

I think it's nearly impossible to bring all the children out at the same time as it's too overwhelming. What you can try doing is, either you enlist more help of people in going out to help out, or you'll have to 'leave' one children behind. Eg, Isaac with godma or either Luke or Hayley with the grandparents. Taking turns. I know the mrs might not favour this idea but it might help(i think). I've heard of many parents who does that , in fact.

Happy night shift for all of you. Haha(I'm so mean!!!)

Anonymous said...

Dear Dylan

is it the lighting or what? the baby in white towel is fairer ao I guess she is Hayley?

How is Issac coping with his gor gor role?

circusbugs

Unknown said...

Hiya - just popped back to check and I'm so glad to hear Hayley's back home already!

Can't imagine how it must be like juggling two newborns. My prayers are with you two! Strength! And the ability to sneak in naps as much as possible ;) It will definitely get easier once Hayley's been "trained" in the 3-hour routine.

Jia you!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi ipoop,

Thanks for chancing by and actually leaving a comment. So you are a mother of a pair of twins too and a young one pair at that. I imagine you are also having it a little tough right?

Not to worry I will do what I can for the Mrs.

Do stick around ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Yvonne,

Silly me, I should have indicated in the blog which is which. However you are right with your guesses.

Actually I did not mistake Hayley of Luke. I knew who I picked up but maybe I was too tired when the Mrs asked me and as a result I told her the wrong twin. Too tired to think perhaps.

I think it is a little unusual for your friend to not be able to tell the twins apart after 4 months. Then again who am I to comment right especially when my twins are not even identical.

Thanks for recommending the blog. I will definitely try and check it out.

Cheers

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

It was careless of me to not indicate which is which twin but it seems like it is not necessary after all cause you all seemed to be able to get it right on your own.

Ya we understand the importance of keeping a table to record the feeding and changing of diapers. Will be keeping it up till don't know how long.

It is indeed tough to bring all of them all together. We tried that today when we brought Hayley to her PD for her review.

When they are older we will surely adopt the method of taking turns to bring each child out. This is to hopefully have better bonding with them individually. But that is for when they are much older.

Actually the night shifts are not too bad since we are not the type that need a full 8 hours of sleep.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Charissa,

It may be the lighting or the white swaddling blanket because both of them are probably equally dark.

In any case you still got your guess right. She is indeed Hayley.

Isaac is oblivious that he is already a big brother. In fact I made a promise to myself that I will let him enjoy his babyhood and not bother about the fact that he is a kor kor already. He is after all still very much a baby.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hiya San,

Nice of you to pop back again. Thanks for sharing our joy of having Hayley back with us.

It is really not easy juggling between 2 newborns. Luckily the Mrs and I have each other to count on. Ani's main task is still Isaac.

Hayley being the good girl that she is has already taken to the 3 hourly routine. She is now having her milk at about the same time as Luke. Thank goodness!

Anonymous said...

twins and all this confusion/lack of sleep/changing diapers and all... imagine 8 babies!! that octo-mom has 14 children!!!

re: confused on where u parked your car. hey, u'r soooo not alone..

mrschew

Nicole said...

Oh, so I'm right. :) Hayley have a very girlish look! Very pretty looking.

Does Luke have jaundice?? Cause he seems a little on the yellow side from what I can see.

On a side note, when you introduce Isaac to his siblings or let them interact, you have to be really careful. Isaac is after all, still a baby(though a big one), he doesn't know his strength and won't know to be gentle. So his actions might be rough. Could injure the babies.

notions in play said...

Hello! Have not been dropping by since I have been a little busy with moving in the past few weeks! Seems like you have been busy with Issac and the twins! I also nearly wanted to ask about Issac but realised that my predecessors have already kindly done so... for now, I just cannot wait till your next update/post to learn more about the kids.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

Wow really long awaited post wor… neck long long liao

I can totally relate to the bed thingy… Kaelyn seems to HATE her bed as well… just last night she was fussing around again and then when we put her down on OUR bed she immediately went into deep slumber…. No need to pat her bum also lor

My HB say… she really knows GOOD stuff… choose to sleep on the EXPENSIVE bed rather than her mattress… we seriously wanting to find a smaller version of our bed for her but of course never lah

You are right about Isaac… I am so used to reading about Isaac that now you NEVER mention him hor feels a bit funny lor. But trust that he is doing well :) he WILL know the meaning of sibling really soon

Enjoy fatherhood all over again...

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jolin,

I honestly do not know how this lady handles 14 kids, (6 from previous birth). It is crazy!!!

She is in fact the most hated mum on earth now. I read she has been receiving hate mails and some even threatening her life.

So you have problem recalling where you park the car each morning like me? Heh, nice to know I am not the only one!!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Ya you got it right! Looks like she does have this girlish look cause most will get it right.

Luke had a little jaundice when he was at the hospital but he is okay now. I think it could be the swaddling blanket that made him looked yellow. Hahahaha

I totally understand what you mean hence I was telling the other readers that it will be a while more before they can see pictures of all the 3 kids together.

He is curious and will use his hands to poke and "hit" the babies so we are very careful when we bring them to him.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jes,

Thanks for coming back to visit the minute you have some free time on your hands!

While you were busy moving we were tied up with the twins and Isaac indeed.

Isaac is indeed blessed to have so many of you love him. I will keep you posted on their progress whenever I can so do stay tuned ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

It has not been that long surely right? I make it a point to post once every calendar week. But thanks for checking back ever so often.

We found another place that the twins can have nice and uninterrupted sleep, the sofa! For some reason when we placed them on the sofa they can sleep rather well also.

Like I was telling Jes, Isaac is so blessed to have so many of you readers love him. I can't promise I will mention him or any of the twins for that matter in every post because this is actually a blog about me. Hahahahaha

PositiveSpunky/ Mrs T said...

Glad to learn about the good news - both twins are back home! How's Mrs? Bet she can recover fast as she has an understanding partner - u! Keep up the good job! Take care and regards to the twins and Issac!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Mrs T,

Thanks! We are all doing fine except for the lack of sleep from the Mrs and I but this is to be expected.

The Mrs is recovering faster than expected but I don't think that has got anything to do with me. I think it is all to her own credit.

Will surely keep you posted on the kids' growth. All the best to you and your family too!

Anonymous said...

wah lau eh... sofa!?! better be careful ah... especially with Isaac around...

eh ok i sense some jealously le.. that EVERYONE is asking about Isaac, the twins, the MRS but no one asks about you wor... haha

someone needs a little attention here?

u better start to blog about YOUR life as a DAD of THREE!!!! :) since this IS a HUSBAND's voice right? :)

cheers :o)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

Actually our sofa is very safe for now while they can't turn yet. Isaac is never alone when crawling around in case he falls off certain height or worse, break my stuffs. So no danger of him hurting the twins in any way.

Funny you should mention that because I think most readers are treating this blog as Isaac's blog initially and in the near future all kids' blog.

Some even named it as Isaac's blog in their own web page. Very few people remember that this is about a husband, me in particular.

This is supposed to be about what I have to say as a father, husband and son. Sigh......

Anonymous said...

How is the twins doing?

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

Glad to see this post finally (in fact saw this a few days ago, but was too busy to leave a comment, sorry :p).

Is Mrs coping okie with breastfeeding? I read that she's doing partial, but feeling good about it; and thats very important. However, if you guys do need help with a Lactation Consultant, do gimme a buzz. I've had good experience with one and would gladly recommend her to you.

Father of 3 now; somewhat like a double/triple promotion ya :D?! Enjoy all that come in a package ;)!

Will cont to stay tuned for more posts & fotos!

JS

Anonymous said...

ok lah sayang lah..
we will try to remember that this is about your tots, feelings, etc...
hey how's the doggy? it is still at your house right? (unless i missed a post somewhere abt it..hmm)

so how many cups of coffee u down everyday now just to keep awake? my hb just found a new concoction: 2 packets of coffee (in one cup) and follow by a bottle of chicken essence... can keep him awake for almost the whole day! :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Anto,

The twins are doing well, a definite handful but doing well nonetheless.

Thanks for asking.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Joyce,

The Mrs is coping well with breastfeeding. There is not enough to sustain them at every feed but it is still ok. We are giving them alternate feedings.

She went back to Mt E to seek the Lactation Consultant's help as well as Mrs Wong's assistance at TMC. She is not so stressed up like when she was breastfeeding Isaac so we're doing good.

However should we need more assistance I will surely PM you for your recommendation.

Yup!! Father of 3. Quite a lot to cope with for now. I believe the coming 3 years will be interesting so hopefully can sustain all your readers' interests.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

Thanks for your sayang ah! Felt so left out! LOL!!

Dino is still with us for sure. Will not kick him out. He is family although he has taken a back seat now that we have the 3 kids. Will try and make up to him somehow.

To be honest coffee has no effect on me and the only time I drink coffee is when I meet friends to chit chat or when I'm at Paragon updating this blog.

Luckily I am not one who needs a lot of sleep and I have always been staying up late so no problem except for the dark eye rings. I heard there is this SKII product which is quite good. May try it out! Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

Are your parents staying near bukit panjang plaza? Have seen your dad twice there and he was showing Dylan's photos to the tenants. You should see the proud face of a granddad :) Glad that Hayley is back home with you. Try to rest as much as you can for yourself and Mrs. Things will only get better as the kids get older :) God bless.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Angelia,

Yes my parents are living near BPP and my dad is always down there chatting with the people.

Did he show you Isaac's pictures? You work there? Do you know him personally?

We are quite alright on the resting part. Of course we could use a little more sleep and 'us' time but we knew what we were getting ourselves into so not complaining here.

Anonymous said...

hi

i am so happy for you and mrs.

since mrs has twins and during the pregancy period is quite weak she should really take very good care of herself now. theres always some truth to old wifes myth about backache, and 'feng shi' when old.

as mrs is not really resting well now(confinment period), i would suggest u and mrs to take chicken essence.

it will make u more energetic plus 'bu' ur body.

its actually good to take dome but since mrs is breastfeeding, it may not be so appropriate but u can! but once she stop breastfedding, she really need to take in as much 'bu' as possible.

is her c-section wound recovering?

once u have establish a routine for the 3 babies, dun forget to set couple time.


take care and looking forward to see more updates and family photo

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Sock Peng,

Thanks for sharing our joy!!

I appreciate your suggestions and in fact we received so many bottles of essence of chicken and DOME from friends who visited us at the hospital. We will see what we can do with them.

Meantime her C-Section has healed very well and with her applying the whitening cream it is not as obvious already.

Not sure how long will it be before the twins can settle down on their own routine. Meantime we will just soldier on!!

Anonymous said...

great! both are back hm.
what can i say, your life revolves ard babies and babies.
tough? u are better than my hubby!!!!
at least, you still can hear them cry at nite..haha..well, my hubby don't. he slept like a pig for the first few months!!!!
oh, hope Mrs can catch some winks in between their afternoon feeds.

*it seems like ages tat i hv not had a long & gd sleep. =p

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Alicia,

Actually my life now revolves around baby, baby and baby!! All 3 of them!

It is not really that tough lah but maybe it is because I am at work most of the time. I only get more involved in the evening and of course night duties. How I envy your husband for being able to sleep right through the crying! Hahahaha

The Mrs is so busy organising the 1st month celebration that she is not sleeping in the day.

Long time since you had a long good sleep?!?! Please don't scare me. I'm hoping once they can sleep through the night then we can all sleep better too.

The Bimbo said...

mmm it's been more than a week since Hayley's home so I guess things are pretty much a routine by now.

Glad to read that Issac is well.. :) I think it's really a big step to jump from 3 to 5....

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Actually things have not been that routine but I will touch on that probably in my next post.

Big step from 3 to 5?!?!? Am I missing something here? I am not planning to have 5 kids if that is what you are hinting at. Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

how i envy my hubby too!! sometimes i hate him for just dumping his son to me..it was like,common,i more tired that u r and u actually slept like a pig.
worse still,my isaac got colic for 2mths and hv to carry to smooth him for 2 hrs straight and the next 2hrs wake up again to do the same.but thank god, finally its over.

what i meant is those long gd sleep where u can dreamt till morn..heehee..
even right now,my boys do sleep through the nite but occasionally they do hv sudden crying/having bad dreams etc...how to hv gd sleep?
oh hopefully your isaac boy do not disturb you and Mrs at nite?

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Alicia,

Hahaha maybe he was really more tired than you?

Colic for 2 months?!?! I am already tired from having to imagine what you had to do!!! Carried for 2 hours only to carry again after a short break? Well Done!!!

As Isaac was sleeping with Ani when the Mrs was pregnant I was able to sleep through on most nights. With the twins now I am not sure if that will ever happen again.