Friday, 13 February 2009

Separated

First of all I would like to thank you all for your generous comments and congratulatory. You have actually set a record high for number of comments generated in a single post as well as hits in a single day.

There are a number of you who have posted your comments for the first time and like I said in my replies to you, please try not to wait for another birth announcement before you comment again because I have a really really strong feeling that it will probably not happen anymore. Three is really the max for us and like I said before in one of my earlier post, we do not preach accidents in the Tan family.

Speaking of replies, it did take me a while (3 attempts) but finally I managed to reply to each and every one of your comments. I do not believe I left out anyone no matter how long or short your comments are. It may be a little hard to trace my reply to your comment but they were replied in a chronological order.

One of the reasons this post took a while longer is also partly due to the fact that I wanted to reply to all your comments before I work on this. Largely it is due to my busy running around between home and hospital as well as managing my work and health. I was actually ill since Monday due to some flu virus.

Alright back to updating you all on the twins’ progress.

Luke was discharged on Monday after he showed that he is able to take to the bottle for all his feeds. He was about 2.3kg when he was discharged. The feeling was a little weird for me because for some reason I secretly wish that Luke can stay behind to accompany his sister and support her in her development. While I was happy that Luke is well enough to come home with us, I felt guilty leaving Hayley alone behind.

The Mrs is also struggling with this emotion and guilt. Since Luke's discharged we have been going to the hospital on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day, to spend some time with Hayley and to support and encourage her. The Mrs initially wanted to breastfeed her but most of the time she is too tired or simply lack the energy to latch on.

In order not to stress and exhaust her too much we have decided to stop trying to latch her on. Instead the Mrs will feed the two of them half breast milk and half formula. So Luke will be alternated between latching on and taking the formula through the bottle. The Mrs will express whenever Luke is on the bottle and save them for Hayley. This is also part of the reason why we are heading to the hospital on a daily basis, to bring Hayley breast milk.

From her birth weight of 1.995kg she dropped to below 1.8kg but she is slowly catching up now. As of yesterday she weighed in at 1.855kg. Weight although important but is not the reason why she is not able to come home. She is only able to complete her feed from the bottle a few times a day with the remaining times through the tube.

After our discussion with the PD yesterday when Luke went for his review, we have decided to lower her intake each time but increase the frequency. So instead of 35ml every 3 hourly she is now on 25 ml every 2 hours. We are hoping that with the lower quantity she can at least get all her milk through bottle. When she eventually comes home we may have to stick to the same 2 hourly feed of smaller quantity which will be hard on the Mrs as it allows her little rest.

As for Luke or Twin I as he is known in the NICU, he is progressing well. He is downing 50ml of milk with some of his feed already which leaves Hayley more to catch up.

It is almost like clockwork with Luke. He will almost wakes up every 3 hourly demanding for his milk. Sometimes he may be slightly earlier or an hour later. We are basically taking turns to feed him although the Mrs has to be up even though I’m the one feeding him and no it is not because she needs to supervise me in case some of you are wondering. When I feed Luke through the bottle she will have to wake up to express for Hayley.

After a little revision with the Mrs I believed we have re-established the method to bath Luke. I am again tasked with bathing him and eventually Hayley as well but I am not complaining except for belly button bit. I am really not very comfortable with the cleaning of the area surrounding what’s left of the umbilical cord. I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.

So far (knocking on wood), Luke is proving to be just like Isaac, a rather easy to care for baby. Oh and of course the similarity does not stop as there as most of you have pointed out.

This is Luke when he learned that he is coming home with us.
This is Isaac when he learned that he will have 2 siblings to play with in 15 month's time.

Last but not least the Mrs. She is doing so well and since we have to run about sorting things out for the twins, she has basically thrown her confinement out the window, not that we practice much in the first place. Those of you new to this blog may wish to check out how she did her last unconfined-ment here.

A little illustration on how well the Mrs is doing. She is sending me to work and then she will be driving the car to run whatever errands she needs to run. As she needs the lactician to assist her so she will also drive herself to Mt E. Oh, I should also add that she was running to and fro the hospital with Luke in tow most of the time.

I was just commenting how I am not used to her moving about so quickly now. At times she was even walking faster than me. It is good to see her almost back to her old self and being able to sleep. I think she will truly heal once Hayley is united with us.

She mentioned last night that it is always very hard whenever all of us, Ani and Isaac included visit Hayley only to leave the hospital without her.

45 comments:

Nicole said...

Don't worry, Hayley will join the Tan family really soon.

Meanwhile, enjoy the 'single' time alone with Luke.

Looking forward to hear meimei joining the gang soon!

WaveSurfer said...

You might have probably already known about this, but the remains of the umbilical cord has no nerves and the babies will feel no pain or discomfort when cleaning that part.

I'm surprised Mrs has started to regain her mobility so quickly; maybe she has felt as light as a feather after 'easing off' the weight of two babies in her stomach. ^^|

Anonymous said...

When the umbilical cord eventually dries up and dops off, it will be easier to bathe the babies. My mother-in-law taught me to put a little drop of sesame oil on the belly button before each bathtime so that water (and hence air) will not get into the tummy. For fear of colic I suppose. She also taught me to use the eucalyptus oil on the baby's belly area area after each bath for the same purpose. Rub some onto your palms to 'warm up' the oil before application. I know many parents use the Ru Yi oil which I find the smell pungent. I do not know about others but so far (thankfully!) my children have not suffered any colic-like symptoms. Hope this helps in the coming months :) All the best for the 3 wonderful children you have.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dylan

Good to klnow that Mrs is already up and running!

Hope to hear from your next posting that Hayley is back!

Jia you jia you Hayley!

Will wait patiently for your family pic!

circusbugs

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,
you have to take care of yourself oso le... dont worry Hayley will be home soon... PD is Dr B also?

To the Mrs: salute u le.. still got the energy to run around drive ALONE with Luke to hospital also... "jia you" for b'fing... but dont be too stressed out by it ok.

cheers

Lionel n Rachel said...

hey, no worries, hayley will be home soon....

to the mrs, i understand ur anxiety but try nt to stress urself up too often. u gt to try & relax, even if it is only for a short while. suggestion: y not express more milk during the day if possible & store them into the freezer so dat they can be heat up for the night feedings iso u having to wake up each time luke wakes up for his feeding. u can also leave the expressed milk with the hospital.

looking forward to see pics of hayley as well...

Anonymous said...

Ah fat's dad (actually, not so fat anymore unfortunately!), you guys are doing great. You already have figured out a system and while I understand how hard it is to return home without Hayley, I think in a way, it is also good 'cos it allows time for you both to work out a schedule, get acquainted with Luke, etc.

So 2 thumbs up!!! :)

On another note, you reckon I should guest write about my progress on PND?

Anonymous said...

I gather you are the most systematic male-gender person I know!! honestly, from your blog I can tell you are so maticulous in replying somemore in ORDER! And there is also a system when it comes to your family...

Hey Luke is really cute, smiling...SOOOOO adorable.. Bet he can get all the female species coo-ing over him..

Hey show more pics of Hayley also ok? must be fair now got 3..haha..

hope next post Hayley can get to see how her real home looks like!!!

Mrs Chew

Jas said...

hi Dylan,
dun worry i am sure hayley will be back with you in no time. In the mean time, although Mrs is running around so much, make sure she eats well and takes good care of herself. These first weeks are very important for her too.

Merryn said...

oh ok.. i dunno how u handle it but u n mrs must be some super parents on earth.. with isaac barely over 12mths old n this twins.. i've got to salute u for still being able to be so systematic.. way to go DAD!

The Bimbo said...

Even I am feeling some heartache reading that last sentence. It must be so hard leaving the hospital every day... nvm. I'm sure with close supervision Hayley will come home soon!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

Luke is reali cute :) Looks so much like Issac indeed. Dun worry too much. I am sure Hayley will join you all very soon. Your Mrs can also express her milk in the NICU when she is there to see Hayley. That was what I did when my daughter was there. The nurses in their NICU are very professional. I have seen how they work as I was there for most part of the day. Hayley is in good hands. Please ask your Mrs to try to rest as much as she can as it will be more than a handful when Hayley comes home :)God bless.

Nyeshia's mummy said...

Congrats!!!
I believe Baby Hayley will be going home with you guys very soon.
Take care.....

Aces Family said...

Hi Dylan,

Good to hear all is well so far and wish that Hayley will be home soon with the family.

Take good care of yourself too...

cheers,
astee

missmoon said...

hi Dylan
I hope you're recovering well from the virus! Running about and I'm sure worrying, takes a toll out of the health. So take good care :)

Ya lor, I've been busy, but I wouldn't miss reading this blog for anything at all. Or catching up with the updates on FB. heh.

I'm really happy to know Luke is doing well and Hayley is catching up in that department. Hope she'll be reunited with the entire family at home real soon.

Hugs to the Mrs, Issac and Ani who are keeping up with all the happenings! And you, of course.

F A I T H said...

Hi Dylan
I can understand it is extremely hard for the moher to leave the hospital without her child. "Very hard" is in fact an understatement. I'm sure all mothers would understand this. Not trying to de-value fathers here, but having had the baby "stuck" to her for 30 over weeks, separation is pretty traumatising to your Mrs. So I think its good she run errands, so she doesn't have much time to "get emotional". :) Send my regards to her and take good care of her, ya?
Hoping to see updated pix of Hayley soon!

Unknown said...

Hiya! I hope Hayley gets to come back home soon. :) Kudos to the Mrs for being so mobile so soon! ;)

KoLe said...

thanks for the updates. was a little worried there.

so happy to know that both twins are progressing well.
and your MRS is a superwoman!
and its great that she has a supportive and understanding hb.


can't wait to see all 3 kiddos pics!

take care :)

Anonymous said...

Glad to know the MRS is up & running...Already Pei Fu her for her energy!But I think she still need to take good food & get more rest if she can.

Not to worry abt Girl...she will be back pretty soon! So Luke looks so adorable!

Enjoy parenthood! :-)

Trina said...

Hi, been a long time since i logged in cos my laptop was out of action. Great to know that the kids are safely delivered! I'm sure Hayley will be able to go home soon! Take care and God Bless!

btw, it could be possible to fully breastfeed both bbs, but will be more siong for Mrs.. she'll have to pump at shorter intervals. maybe she can step up when she's feeling more energetic.

Angie said...

it is not easy but i hope your mrs will try to get as much rest as she can!!!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Thanks for your reassurance. I agree that it is in a way good that we have Luke home first so we can slowly warm up to having to take care of both of them eventually.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi WaveSurfer,

It is actually not so much about the pain that he feels. It is more like how I feel about handling this piece of thingy that is half falling off.

The Mrs is really quite strong when it comes to this. She definitely feels light as a feather and I am so not used to it. Hahahaha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Susan,

Thanks for your tip but we will stick to what we were thought at Mrs Wong's class for now.

We will eventually rub some Ru Yi oil on their stomach but only after they are a little older.

Do come back and share more tips as the 3 of them grow ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Charissa,

Ya the Mrs is really fast at recovering. It is good for her also as she hates to stay at home.

Will update you all very soon on Hayley's situation.

As for the family portrait, it will be a little later I think. So do stick around ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

You are probably one of the rare few that remember me. Seems most of the focus are on the Mrs and the twins. Hahahaha

I'm doing alright actually so no problem here.

Tentatively their PD is not Dr B because Dr N prefers to use another PD that he is more comfortable. We will be switching over to Dr B soon so maybe we can all arrange to go to her together. Hahahaha

Cheers!

A Husband's Voice said...

Thanks Yvonne.

Hayley is actually home by now and I will blog about it soon.

When Hayley was still in the hospital we do drop by everyday to visit her and also to drop off the expressed breast milk for her.

Now that we are home, she is rotating them on latching on. Other times they will be on formula milk.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Sis,

You are right that in a way it is better for us to have Luke home first. Besides getting acquainted with him it also helped in getting a system established before we have to throw Hayley in the equation.

About you guest writing the post PND, I am all for it so just write it and I will post it whenever you're done. I'm sure it will benefit many others.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jolin,

Thanks for your compliment, I think!

I am systematic only with certain things and an absolute mess when it comes to other stuffs. So I am a regular guy after all.

To reply all of you in sequence is the easiest way to do it. The same goes for getting a system for the twins at home. Guess everyone likes to get things done easily right?

Still early days so can't tell if Luke will have the same effect on ladies that Isaac is enjoying.

As for Hayley, I will be posting pictures on her soon. Promise!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jas,

Thanks for your reassuring words. By the time I reply you, she is home already.

As for the Mrs, she is the kind that cannot stop. Our Gynae Dr N also knows her like that. He is always asking her to slow down and rest.

She is definitely eating well but with the twins hope now, we all can't rest too well. Hahahaha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Merryn,

Don't heap the praises on us yet because it is still early days.

We need everyone's cooperation in order for things to work and this includes Ani, Isaac and the twins. So credit to all.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

After reading your comment I have to go back and read what was my last sentence in the post. Hahahaha

It was indeed hard to leave her there everyday but we know it was necessary so.....

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Angelia,

Luke really looks a lot like Isaac. It will be interesting to see if it continues this way months down the road.

The Mrs did expressed whenever we were at the NICU. When Luke was still there she even breastfeed him there.

I agree that the NICU nurses are very professional and Hayley was in good hands. I know it was necessary so we have to just go along with it.

A Husband's Voice said...

Thanks Eve,

By the time I reply to your comment, Hayley is already home with us.

Stay tuned to learn about our experience with both of them home.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Astee,

By the time I reply your comment, Hayley is already home with us. So everything worked out well.

Thanks again!!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cynthia,

Thanks for your concern. I recovered after a few days. Running about does take a toll on one's health I guess.

Thanks for being a loyal reader. Will definitely try and continue posting once a week even though the twins are back.

Thanks for your support and concern.

Cheers

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Faith,

Although a father but I think I can comprehend what you mean.

I also agree that it is good that she runs some errand to take her mind off Hayley plus she is the type that cannot stand still.

I will take good care of all of them and will post Hayley's picture real soon.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi CoffeeSeed,

Thanks, I think.......

Another reader that does not fit the regular profile.

I welcome you nonetheless.

Cheers

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi San,

By the time I did this reply, Hayley is already home with us.

Will keep you posted in future posts so stay tuned ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi KoLe,

Thanks a lot for your support and concern.

They are indeed doing very well and both are home now.

Pictures of all 3 of them may have to wait a little cause we can't 'trust' Isaac with them yet. But we will think of something.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Linda,

I am also a little surprised by her that she can be up and running errands so quickly. I think this is her form of recuperation instead of lazing in bed.

Actually Hayley is already back with us when I post this comment.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Trina,

Yes, long time did not hear from you. Hope everything is well at your end.

I don't think the Mrs is producing enough to sustain them on full breast milk so we are alternating between formula as well.

Anyway I do not want her to be too stressed up with BF. Just give them what she has and supplement the rest with formula is good enough.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Angie,

Thanks for your concern. It is indeed not easy but I think the Mrs is rather well rested now since she is not going anywhere not that the twins are home.

Anonymous said...

Dylan,

Good... I saw ur title in FB. Glad tat Hayley is home already. Take some photos and post ok. Can't wait to see the twins with their Kor Kor photos! Take care and send my warmest regards to MRS & your kids! WELL DONE!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Linda,

Thanks!! I am actually done with my next post and it should be up later today. I am only sorting out the pictures to upload.

However there will not be any picture of Isaac with the twins because we cannot trust him with them yet. But I promise in due time you will get to see our family pictures.

Cheers