Monday, 12 April 2010

Volunteers?

In the past before we were parents the Mrs would bring her parents to nearby countries for short vacations every once in a while. She was always guilty that she was unable to spend more time with them so she will take them to short getaways while they are still mobile.


Ever since we became parents she has stopped this practice due to obvious reason but I know deep down she would very much like to continue. It is not easy trying to be a wife, mother and good daughter at the same time.


The past two years have not been very nice as we witnessed the passing of our friends’ parents. Friends who are actually about the same age as us which means their parents are probably around the same age as our parents as well. Early this year we learned of another friend whose mum was diagnosed with cancer and it was at the advanced stage already. Instead of opting to go through the chemo therapy she decided to live out her remaining days happy and she started off by visiting Japan first.


I believed that incident triggered something within the Mrs and she discussed with me if it is alright for her to bring her folks for a holiday. What started out to be a trip to Taiwan has now morphed into a trip to see the cherry blossom in Japan. So come this Saturday she will bring her parents to Hokkaido for a week. There will only be the three of them so it is not exactly a holiday for the Mrs for she will be taking care of the old folks but I believe seeing them enjoy themselves is reward enough.


So starting this weekend it will be just Ani and I taking care of the three kids. There are minimum changes in the day since I have always been involved in preparing the kids to go to their grandparents place and Isaac to school. Small changes are instead of having the Mrs bring Isaac to the teachers at his school I will have to part my car and run in. Rest of the days will be pretty same-o same-o for they will be at my parents place until I come back for them in the early evening.


Without the Mrs I can be home earlier actually which is not necessary a good thing. This automatically means I will be bringing them home earlier also and once home Ani will proceed with her daily chores of cleaning up the place and it will be them versus me for about 2 to 3 hours before they turn in.


Hmmmm….. maybe I should get Ani to deprive them their afternoon naps so they will retire earlier in the evening. Muhahahahaha!!!! Just kidding Darling.


Honestly I am not at all worried about sending Isaac to school on my own or tackling them alone in the evening. Ani has proven to be of great help and my kids are nice to us for they all sleep by 9pm which leaves me with a lot of ‘me’ time. With the Mrs in Japan I think it is time to buy another one or two Xbox game. Woohoo!!!


Where I need help my readers are what to do and where to go this weekend. Usually with the Mrs around it is already not easy bringing the 3 of them out. Somehow we always managed but with only Ani and I, going out is not such a good idea at all.


Recently I noticed we are attracting a lot of stares and attention whenever we eat out. The fact that the waiters have to remove 3 normal chairs and replace them with 3 highchairs will already arouse people’s curiosity. When they see us walking in and taking our seats I can almost sense their stares and gossips. They will discuss amongst themselves if all 3 kids are ours and seeing the twins they will have more questions; if they’re twins and the age gap between Isaac and the twins. Once they determined that they are all ours you can definitely sense their astonishment. “I wonder how they cope” and “What were they thinking” are probably the general sentiment.


Back to the dining table, Isaac will be demanding to feed himself and will want this and that before he decides it is time to explore the restaurant. The twins will usually be good and quiet so long as we continue to stuff food in their mouths. Come to think of it maybe their mouths are too full to make any noise. However even they have their off days sometime and with the 3 of them behaving the way they do these people are probably taking pity on us.


With the Mrs away I can assure you that we will not be eating out and if we do it will surely involve my parents. My main concern is what to do with them in the day? Where can I bring them to burn off their energy? Places like Polliwogs are no good because while Isaac can enjoy with me chasing after him Ani will be left to watch after the twins alone.


Staying at home the entire weekend is also a terrible idea for tackling them for 2 to 3 hours is tiring enough I can’t imagine having to manage them for so many hours. They will still stick to their daily nap routine but it still leaves us with a good 4 to 5 hours of activities to keep them occupied.


My bro, Mike was kind enough to invite us to hang around with him and his family this weekend for he said they can help us take care of the twins. Now that is a friend indeed.


So now the question is do I have another good friend in you my readers? Any volunteers to help babysit this weekend?

27 comments:

--andy-- said...

hi daddy,
maybe nParks is a good start.
The greens will "tired" them out, running after butterflies
or blowing-bubble.
Good luck to you, from another Daddy.

roanne said...

my suggestion - grab the grandparents, godparents, aunts & uncles and bring the kids to the swimming pool! it's so hot in singapore and the kids will love splashing about in the water. don't forget the floats and sunblock though. ideally - one or two adults to each kid. then the adults can rotate among themselves. confirm the kids will zonk out at the end of it all! *haha*

roanne said...

oh sorry. you were asking for volunteers! *haha* i thought you wanted ideas. =P me can't volunteer though i would love to. my new little miss + the current miss are keeping me on my toes. *haha*

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Andy,

Wow! Finally another dad who actually reads this blog.

Park is fun indeed but from the recent trip to the Marina Barrage I know the twins won't be running around at all for they do not like the feel of grass. Hahahaha

Cheers

Dylan

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Roanna,

I'm surprised that you still have time to read my blog and post a comment. Thanks for that!

Swimming pool is great! I wanted to bring them every weekend but it has been raining. Isaac and Luke absolutely loves it. Hayley needs a lot of warming though. Unfortunately without the Mrs it won't be as fun.

I don't think I can convince so many adults to come and help me jaga the kids for most of them won't be entering the pool.

I actually needed both ideas and volunteers. Thanks for your idea! I'm sure you'll be busy for a while so I wouldn't dare trouble you to help look after them.

Nicole said...

Last weekend, we went marina barrage to fly kite. Claire had a good time. Even Cleo who are afraid of stepping on grass were running all over it.

Have a picnic! Grab picnic mat, food and have fun!

Dana Mummy and Daddy said...

Hi Dylan

it's so nice of you to give Mrs the blessing of bringing her folks for an overseas trip. Hokkaido is lovely and v scenic, am sure all 3 of them will come back recharged! I brought my granny there in 2008 too :)

As for where and how to occupy your 3 lil bubs this weekend, here's my humble suggestion:

1. A Fun Sat morning outing to Jacob Ballas Children's Garden - http://www.sbg.org.sg/bukittimahcore/ChildrenGarden.asp

2. Afternoon nap + evening swim at a pool (can come to ours so Dana can meet Issac and the twins!)

3. Sunday outing to the Zoo plus waterplay at the Rainforest Kidzworld - http://www.zoo.com.sg/l2_t2.aspx?l1=5&l2=43&langid=1

4. Alternatives - bring them to feed rabbits, birds, geese and goats at The Animal Resort - http://www.rictedkennels.com/ or do longkang fishing at http://www.prkidskampong.com/

5. Finally exhaust their bountiful energy at a huge Indoor playground at East Coast then have a leisurely walk by the beach - http://www.thepolliwogs.com/ :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

We were at Marina Barrage on Good Friday and it was so crowded but we enjoyed ourselves. It was meant to be a short experience only hence we weren’t very prepared.

We’ll definitely head back with our picnic basket and kit once the Mrs is back from her Japan trip.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Angeline,

Thank you very much for planning our weekend. We have actually been to a few of your recommended places already and each time there will be 3 adults attending to 3 kids. I am not sure I am brave enough to bring them out with just Ani and I.

Actually if we follow your itinerary I believe we, the adults will be more kong out than the kids. I might not recover from the exhaustion and report to work on Monday. Hahahaha

Jayne said...

Hi! Just curious, why don't you just drive into school and drop off like everyone else? No need to park... it's easier. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. :-)

Anonymous said...

Dear A Husband’s Voice

I was referred to your blog by colleagues who were discussing it just now. After reading it, I felt compelled to share my point view. You are a blogger who welcome honest opinions, judging from what I see?

Filial piety means more than a vacation. It is a daily way of life. I’m afraid the Mrs and you are deluded by the fact that a trip to Hokkaido makes her a good daughter. Old folks with failing memories will forget this in no time. While it does sound like fun for the Mrs to enjoy some personal sight-seeing time without the 3 children, no doubt.

Did it ever occur to you that the cost of this threesome trip to Hokkaido translates to a vacation for your entire family, including both sets of in-laws at nearby cities? Wouldn’t that be a better rationale for “family bonding”?

Food for thought:

Time with the family is priceless but readily available. Rather than having the Mrs skipping to Hokkaido alone, your family would fare better investing genuine care and concern for your parents through the little things that matter.

It’s good to see that you don’t mind caring for the 3 children with your helper since the Mrs does not seem to contribute much anyway. Good on you! Now we know who wears the pants in your home.

From
Married Yellow Man

roanne said...

hi married yellow man, though you raised a few valid points, but you come across as being a little judgemental in your response. i don't think dylan or his mrs are claiming that they are filial just because his mrs is bringing her parents to japan for a holiday.

you are right in saying that the little, everyday life things matter more - but the fact is, this is just a blog. there is no need for them to broadcast the details of what they do for their parents to virtual strangers. as readers, we cannot assume that nothing else is being done just because they choose not to write about it yes?

and since i'm at it, i might as well as say it - does it really matter who wears the pants in their family? i believe in a normal family setting, the pants gets passed around, depending on the situation/circumstance. so long as the husband loves & respects the wife (and vice versa), and the children get to grow up in a loving, close-knit environment - i wouldn't care too much about who is wearing the pants.

Nicole said...

The mrs doesn't contribute much??? Hello??? She went through pregnancies to give birth to the kids ok ??? The fear, the stress and the pain,???!!!!

This yellow married totally forgotten about that!!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jayne,

I am assuming you are familiar with the dropping off system in BRMCK. What I meant was without the Mrs I have to stop the cark one side at the drop off point and then run out to unbuckle Isaac before walking him to the teachers. Currently the Mrs can get off with Isaac at the beginning of the queue while I slowly inch towards the drop off point and pick her up. I did not mean parking as in parking in a proper lot.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder and this time the Mrs has so many back home to miss.

A Husband's Voice said...

Dear Married Yellow Man,

First of all thank you for visiting this humble blog of mine after having this discussion about it in your office. Frankly I’m a little amused with the idea that a few colleagues would actually gather around and discuss about my blog. I hope none of your other colleagues view us the way you do.

I do welcome honest opinion for I feel everyone is entitled to have theirs. However I believe you are misjudging both the Mrs and I. You seemed to come to a conclusion on who we are and all from reading this single post?

Below are the many things that I disagree with you:

1) We are in no way under any delusion that filial piety involves ONLY a vacation with the old folks once in a while but you have to admit that it is indeed a nice and filial gesture to bring one’s parents out for a holiday right? Like Roanne’s comment mentioned, I do not blog about everyday’s happenings in so the times that we spent with my parents in Marina Barrage or organizing family outings and steamboats so the grandparents can spend more time with us and their grandchildren are not made known to you.

2) Old folks may have failing memories and may not remember a thing about this or any other trip but that does not mean we should not bring them to a place that they will surely enjoy at this point in time right? If according to what you say since they are not going to remember in the future anyway then why don’t we just bring them to the new IRs? It will serve as 2 different vacations at least.

3) I am assuming that you are not a parent yet and forgive me if I’m wrong. I got this assumption because ask any parent and you will know that leaving one’s young children for a week is NEVER fun. A short trip away from the children with the other half to recharge is one thing but to leave them behind for a whole week is something else altogether. Due to school and my work the Mrs has no choice but to make this difficult decision to bring her parents to try and see the cherry blossom for it cannot wait. So she will not be enjoying as much as you think.

4) As for the cost of this holiday why are you assuming that we are sacrificing anything in exchange? Why do you think that there will be no other family bonding? The Mrs has siblings as well and her brother is chipping in to cover for the parents. As for our own vacation, I think you will be pleased to know that we are already planning to bring my parents to Taiwan end of this year or early next year and my own family will be heading to Club Med in Phuket in December.

5) I appreciate your concern that we might be neglecting our parents through the small and daily matters. I assure you that this is not the case. Again what made you draw this conclusion in the first place?

6) As for who wears the pants in my household it is clearly very different in every family. Maybe in yours you are THE MAN and whatever you say goes but in my family we discuss and make joint decisions on big and important issues.

7) Lastly and probably most importantly you are wrong to say that the Mrs does not seem to contribute much. Maybe this is due to this blog for it is about my voice so everything is from a husband’s point of view but it does not mean that the Mrs doesn’t get involved in the upbringing of the children. We are both very hands on parents so whatever I am doing for / with the kids the Mrs can do a similar if not better job. When I go away for business trips it will be her turn to put in the extra work to cover for me.

I am honestly a little sad and upset that a nice gesture by the Mrs to bring her parents on a vacation has to be turned into something this ugly. By not blogging (boasting) about how well we treat our parents in our everyday lives we are thought to be neglecting or mistreating them.

I hope that the above shed some light on how we treat our parents so you need not worry.

From

Dylan

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Roanne,

Thanks for defending us even in your condition. I hope you are not too worked up by him.

Cheers

Dylan

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Thank you also for defending the Mrs. I guess maybe I should have directed him to the post on how close we were to losing the twins in trying to save the Mrs from excessive bleeding.

Cheers

Dylan

Anonymous said...

Dear A Husband's Voice

You are right to be amused. Your blog actually provided some great lunchtime entertainment for us! In fact, I was so amused that I actually visited your blog.

Wow. A 7-point rebuttle fortified by the voices of your blog fans. That's quite a reaction.

I meant no malice. Since you had the intention of airing your family affairs openly over the Internet, I assumed wrongly that you are open to critique.

Obviously, I hit a very sore point. For that, I am very sorry because I did not mean to cause you distress.

Thanks for elaborating on your family life in such detail and for the invitation to read other posts. I think I would decline your kind gesture for fear of upsetting you further with my blunt observations.

For my parting comment, I would like highlight that we are now conversing in a public domain. Even a simple statement is subject scrutiny and different interpretation. Just like there are two sides of the coin, comments on your post may not always be glowing praises of your seemingly ideal family life. Perhaps you should add a disclaimer to say that negative opinions are unwelcome.

From
Glen

The Bimbo said...

*applause*

I'm so happy to see you so supportive of your wife's wishes. That's one thing I really want to be able to accomplish too which is why I find it difficult to convince myself to start on a family since being the good daughter part will really be difficult after marriage.

Going to dinner without the Mrs will be AWFULLY weird... Ani, you and the three lovely darlings will earn you dirty looks! In fact I think even if people spotted the combi in the car.. you'll get some frowns from the assuming ones. :P

have a good weekend!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Glen,

I am glad my blog serve as some form of entertainment to you and your colleagues even though some observations are obviously wrong.

Since you meant no malice then I am pleased to say that your apology is accepted. I would like to add that while I am open to criticism by readers of this blog I am not prepared to keep quiet and defend what I feel is a wrong observation.

As for your parting comment I do not need a disclaimer for you should know you are not the first and neither will you be the last person to criticize me here in my own blog. However you are certainly the first that seems to be genuinely surprised that you got a reaction from me. Surely you must think that I will respond when I am being called deluded here in my own blog?

I am all gamed for open and healthy debate and where I come from we must be able to take as well as we give so if you are not prepared to do that then it is of course best that you jog on mate.

From

Dylan

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Actually I’m sure you can achieve that. It just takes a little planning and support you’re your husband. In the beginning while the children are young it may not happen so often but imagine the fun both grandparents and grandchildren will have once they are all a little older. This is also why you should start a family soon for it will be easier to bring the parents out while they are still mobile.

You reckon we will get dirty look? It has never crossed my mind, seriously. In any case I am not bothered by those look since I do not know them and will probably never bump into them again. Having said that it will also not happen cause it is already a challenge to dine out with 3 adults and we have to take turns to eat. With just the 2 of us I will deem it mission impossible.

I’ll try and have a good weekend and will keep you all posted next week so stay tuned!

You have a great weekend too!

Dylan

Anonymous said...

MR YELLOW MAN,

I M THE GODMA of IZ, who is the eldest son of Dylan.

FYI, I WEAR PANTS AND SKIRT! who cares!? Are you an old fashion man? No offense, in the real world now, lots of working mothers who helps to contribute to their families and to help out in nuturing their children and looking after their parents or even grand parents.

Everyone of us, be it MAN OR WOMAN, DAUGHTER OR SON, MOTHER OR FATHER - ALL OF US HAVE OUR ROLE TO PLAY. ITS FAMILY.. never teach others how to run the show... its their OWN BUSINESS!

I AM A MOTHER OF 2 TEENAGE GIRLS AND I HAVE BEEN RUNNING THE SHOW FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS - NO COMPLAINTS - I dun think I have to pen it down and announce to the whole world! As long as I can support and take care of my family well, provide for all, I M HAPPY at the end of my day work.

No offense to any guys out there, I just feel OLD FASHION GUY will think ONLY MAN CAN TALK AND BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE OR ONLY MAN CAN MAKE MONEY ETC ETC... GIVE ME A BREAK! Not many marriages I come across are like Mr & Mrs Dylan. FYI. THEY DISCUSS AND THEY AGREE AT ALL THINGS - WHY? simply LOVE for each other and kids.

RESPECT AND TRUST!
IF YOU DONT GET IT, FIND YOURSELF A WIFE AND SEE YOU ARE THAT LUCKY TO FIND A PARTNER WHO AGREES AND WLLING TO GIVE BIRTH 3 KIDS!!??

I REST MY CASE.

Keep up your good work, Dylan !! I will always support you!!! CHEERS!!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL AT HOME XXOO

FROM godma

Happyhour said...

Interesting post. Something normal turn out so erm abnormal.

Dylan I support you. No matter what I think BOTH you and MRS did/doing a good job. *pat back*

And who is to judge your family? Every family has their way of running it, just like every company operates differently. There is no one hard and fast rule that one must adhere to.

Anyway don’t want to dwell into that area anymore…

How’s the weekend with the kids alone? You manage to survive? And did the MRS and PIL enjoy their trip? I am so looking forward to my family trip in July too!

A Husband's Voice said...

Thanks Pam!

I hope you feel better after letting it out of your system.

In any case I am not expecting Mr Yellow Married Man to be responding since he has already said he will not be visiting this blog anymore.

Don't let him get to you ya?!

Take care!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

It is actually weird for me. I am surprised by the reaction from this guy just from reading this single post.

Thanks for your support but we are really doing things the way we want. We are not looking for approval or support from anyone. I’m sure along the way we will find readers who agree as well as people who disagree.

Once I let it out of my system and said my piece it is forgotten. I do not think anything I say will change his mind but it’s ok since I do not know him in the first place.

As for my weekend with the kids, I’ll try and find time to blog about it and update you all.

So where are you going to in July?

happyhour said...

i'm bring my parents, mil and my own family to brisbane... kids can go to the world while the older folks to ah-hem... casino.. haha

at least the kids and adults would have their fair share of fun. i dont expect the old folks to be enjoying themselves that much in the world! so dont force them to go.. :)

hey you are going club med phuket right? we went club med bintan last year and it was not too bad.. managed to get the inhouse sitter for Kaelyn for 2 hrs and tricia to the kids club while the hb and me go for our relaxing massage... :)
only bad thing was that it kind of rained (nov period) a LOT... so tat was the down side...

your family will have plenty of fun!

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