Kick!

The Mrs was actually getting a little anxious because we were nearing our 20th week and she had not felt Baby's kick or movement yet. It does not help when some of you Mothers-to-be felt your babies kicked as early as the 14th or 15th week. We were beginning to wonder if everything was alright.

However all that changed as of 25th August at 6.35pm. The Mrs felt Baby's kick for the first time and it went on for a few more times.

Prior to that we were only able to tell roughly where Baby was. Certain part of the Mrs’s tummy will be harder indicating Baby’s position. Sometimes we cannot feel the hardness at all and on that faithful evening while lying in bed, we were just commenting that Baby doesn’t seemed to be “around” and before we know it, the Mrs felt Baby’s kick.

Since that day Baby has been updating the Mrs’s on his / her well being by the occasional kick here and there, now and then. It seems that the Mrs can only feel it when she is lying down so she usually feels Baby’s kick only at night when she has settled down in bed.

I have never experienced it. Sometimes the Mrs will place my hand on the tummy but I did not feel anything. Nope, nothing, nah dah. Another point to back up my earlier “complaint” that we dads-to-be cannot feel as excited since we are experiencing everything from a 3rd party’s perspective (see Essentials).

Anyway due the Mrs and I have rather extreme body temperatures she does not allow me to place my hands on her tummy for too long. Even in an air-conditioned room my temperature is still too high for her. When I place my palm on any part of her body I can feel that she is very much cooler. When trying to conceive, we were seeing a Yi Shi (Chinese Sensei) and she confirmed that I am of hot element while she is cold.

The Mrs wasn’t too sure if what she felt was actually Baby’s movement or the effects of the water and air in her. She was really excited but a little lost and confuse at the same time. It would be really silly for the two of us to get all excited and celebrated the gas movement in the Mrs. That would be worth popping the champagne!

Anyway we clarified with Dr Chang today that Baby’s movement should feel like bubbly movement. So there you have it fellow first time Preggers. Now you know how it should feel like, bubbly and not what I imagined it to be all along, Bruce Lee…….. Hai Ya!!!

Dino

I recently realised that over the past few months of blogging, I have yet to introduce our pet dog, Dino. We like to call him Ah No from time to time.

Ah No is a yellow Labrador Retriever about to turn 5 next month. The Mrs and I were just discussing the other day about where to take him and perhaps buy him a birthday cake, meant for dogs of course, and let him eat till his heart contents.

Ah No is the sweetest and most gentle dog that I know. He is so mild that when he got bitten by smaller dogs (which happened pretty often) whenever we brought him to the dog run, he will not get upset and will continue to play. Once we brought him to West Coast Park and let him loose. The Mrs and I planted ourselves down in one corner and watched him go around and mingle. After a while he came running happily back to us and it was only when he passed us did we noticed that he was bleeding on the tongue, apparently he was bitten by a small dog. He was still trotting along without a care in the world and continued his journey of trying to fit in with the smaller ones.

Unlike my family, the Mrs's family did not have any dogs before hence my MIL is always a little afraid of Ah No. The Mrs will always tease her by referring to her as Ah No's grandma. Sad to say Grandma wanted us to get rid of him once she learned that we are pregnant. We don't actually blame her for having such thoughts since she has never been really "introduced" to any dogs plus she did have the Mrs's interest at heart. I always wonder how big her reaction will be should she see the Mrs kissing Ah No and allowing him to lick her face.

Actually for those who do not own dogs, their first reaction seemed to be that Ah No will either be given up or he will have to take second place with Baby's coming. I got asked a couple of times now on what are we going to do with Ah No.

"Do with him? What do you mean do with him?! Nothing! He is a member of this family and he will most definitely continue to be and at the same time play a significant part in Baby's growing up."

Some of those who are more into pets will discuss with me the preventive measures that we are taking to "protect" Baby. Right now I can only think of having those safety gates that we will place at the door to stop Ah No from entering the bedroom and licking Baby without our supervision and knowledge. This is serious because Ah No's tongue is so broad and wet that he might just drown Baby with continuous licking. (For those of you who are not familiar with Labradors, I am kidding of course. Continuous licking may result in choking and maybe even fainting due to Ah No's breath but surely not drowning.) Seriously, a study has been conducted and dogs' tongues are actually found to be cleaner than humans'. Go figure!

We are responsible parents and we will ensure that Ah No will not have direct access to Baby when he / she is still so young but eventually I am sure they will be having a ball of fun together.

Personally I am already looking forward to the day that Baby can be left in the walker. I believe it will be really interesting to see Baby chasing Ah No around the house. Knowing Ah No, "kay poh" he may be but he has very short attention span so he prefers to just lie down and observe the world goes by. I can already picture Baby running in his / her walker and crashing into Ah No who is lying down. For your information this is already happening to Ah No with our iRobotic vacuum cleaner.

I learned from somewhere that kids growing up with pets will naturally develop better immune system against the allergies that come with pets. I certain hope that this is the case since I am asthmatic although controlled.

The Mrs read from SMH that some dogs can sense that their mistresses being pregnant and she has been trying to educate Ah No of the same ever since. While he thoroughly enjoys the time spent on the bed with his head on the Mrs's thigh, I believe he is still very much clueless about the whole Baby thing.

My sis also taught me to bring the blanket that the hospital uses to wrap Baby home first for Ah No to sniff at before Baby actually comes home. This is to allow Ah No to get used to Baby's scent.

Honestly I am not worried about Ah No and Baby getting along. Labradors are known to be really good with children plus he has never given us any reason to believe that he will turn aggressive. Throughout his almost 5 years stay with us, we have tried so many ways of irritating him (my sis contirbuted too by "biting" him on his legs, neck and tail) but he wasn't really bothered by us. He probably finds us "Wu Liao" (people with nothing else better to do)!

In case you are fellow Labradors owners, I will highly recommend the book, Marley and me. I will give it 5 tissues (out of 5). If you own other dogs then it is still probably 4 tissues.

Oh, please do not make the mistake of reading the final few chapters in any public places unless you are totally comfortable crying with others watching on. Believe me, tears will flow!

Pregnant?

I had to go away to Bangkok for my company’s annual sales meeting and conference sometime back in June and the Mrs wanted to tag along pretty badly. Unfortunately, according to Dr N, the Mrs had better wait till after the 1st trimester before she sets foot on any aircraft. So I promised her that we will have a short getaway after her 1st trimester and not long after I saw a promotion booklet from UOB which featured a nice villa with private pool in Phuket.

Since our trip to Bali middle of last year where I had my first taste of private villa with pool, I had always been looking forward to another trip for the same experience again. So this was just perfect, or so I thought.

Overall this was a rather uneventful trip since it was meant mainly for the Mrs to rest and relax. A lot of time was spent on eating and resting in the villa. We were prepared to “nuah” (veg out in Hokkien) in the villa so I even brought along our notebook and 3 seasons of “Sex and the City”. I got the complete 6 season’s box set from London for the Mrs last year.

The only reason the trip was not perfect was the “private” pool. Anyone who sees the picture below will imagine a nice little pool that is enclosed for our own use right? Imagine my disappointment when I saw that it was actually open concept meaning passersby can see what we were doing in the pool. Needless to say my skinny dipping and moonbathing under the stars idea vapourised under the hot Phuket sun. Sigh ……

Let this be a lesson to you all. Check and double check with the resort before placing your booking.

This could very well be the second last if not the last vacation that we will be taking on our own for a long time. The Mrs is very keen to go to Hong Kong for her favourite curry “Yu Tan” (fishball). If everything goes according to plan then we may just indulge her by popping by sometime in September or October for a few days.

During this short getaway I can see that the Mrs’s appetite had indeed improved tremendously. Besides the morning buffet, lunch and dinner, she also snacked in between meals and sometimes had supper.

I actually put on 2kg from joining her in her eating during this trip. Imagine my horror when I weighed myself immediately upon our return. And guess what? The Mrs gained a …… mere 300g?!?!?! I am still trying to shed this excess weight and it has been 4 days!!

Besides her improved appetite, the Mrs’s taste buds have also changed. She used to have this extremely sweet tooth but lately she doesn’t like them too sweet. Things that I find normal she finds them extremely sweet when in the past she will complain it is not sweet enough.

I believe the Mrs really enjoyed this trip because this is the first time that she actually did not want to come home. In the past no matter how much we enjoyed ourselves when it was time to return we will be okay. This was true even during our Europe trip end of last year. This time however, she really didn’t feel like coming back.

Speaking of coming back, the trip would have been closer to perfect (I have already concluded it is not perfect from the pool issue) if not for one of the cabin crew onboard the flight home. The Mrs had enjoyed herself thoroughly; completely rested; got to eat, sleep and do nothing. That was until the flight home. We were seated at the emergency exit which has very nice and big leg room and this lady cabin crew asked if the Mrs was pregnant. Imagine lightning and thunder happening in the Mrs’s head for dramatic effect!

She was lost for words so I replied that she was. We were then told that she was not allowed to sit at the emergency exit so she would have to be moved during landing. I’m sure you can guess that the Mrs was rather bothered by it. “How can she tell?” “My stomach that big meh?” “Guess I’m no wearing this top anymore!” I must add that she was wearing a normal t-shirt, not the over sized ones and a pair of shorts.

I told the Mrs we should have answered no and see how embarrassed the cabin crew gets. After all she had “accused” a young lady of being pregnant just because there was a bulge at her tummy. I know I would be speechless if I were in her shoes because to me that was worse than calling a woman fat. Fat is at least an all rounder thingy but pregnant is “look girl you have a HUGE tummy issue”. I imagine her apologising profusely and us kicking up a big fuss and demanding to have a bottle of champagne complimentary of SilkAir no less.

Nah, we are nice people.

In the end I guess I’m lucky that our getaway was to Phuket where the flight home was only about 105 minutes so the Mrs did not have to be bothered by it for too long. Imagine we were coming back from the States or Canada ……….

Genes

We went to Dr N two weeks ago to have our check up and before he even start, I had to advise him that we would like to keep Baby’s gender a secret. He doesn’t seem surprised so I guess it is still pretty common and normal for parents to opt for that.

The nurse had to write “Does not want to know gender” at the top of the Mrs’s medical file so that they will remember but to be sure I have to remind myself to remind them during each visit.

I jokingly tell them that I am thinking of making a plaque so that I can wear it on my chest each time we go for check up so that they will be reminded. Come to think of it maybe it will be better for the Mrs to wear since she is the "subject". What do you think Honey?

The Mrs read that many mothers-to-be spoke to their babies to be good and show them if they are boys or girls the night before they went for their scans so I did the same thing the night before except that I told Baby the opposite. I told baby to sit cross legged if need to.

I have a feeling that because Dr N respected our wish we did not get to see too much of baby. He only zoomed in to take the measurement of Baby’s head and abdominal. But we did manage to see Baby moving his / her legs and arm. It looked like either Baby was scratching his / her back or simply waving at us. The Mrs was so happy seeing Baby kicked and waved that she started to giggle and we can see Baby bouncing up and down on the screen.

The pictures that we got weren’t very nice but it was supposed to be Baby sucking his / her thumb. Use a little bit of your imagination and you will see it too. The other picture actually shows Baby's formed bones.

We were told to visit TMC a month later for another scan but this time to check Baby’s features. It is rather exciting as I wonder what will be revealed during the scan.

The coming scan got us thinking what features will Baby take after from me and the Mrs. She likes Baby to have my eyes, not because mine are nice and bright and lively. It’s just that she feels hers are not as nice although I would beg to differ.

Besides my eyes the Mrs prefers Baby to have my ears because hers are really small without much of a loop.

The one thing she knows she does not want Baby to have is my nose. According to her mine is too fleshy. Don’t understand why it is such a bad thing. Don’t be mistaken, it is not ‘Jackie Chan’ fleshy and if you ask me I feel they are normal. But having her nose is a problem too cause she does not have much of a bridge so it will have include my bridge.

Besides features, we are also wondering if Baby will be skinny or chubby. Since the Mrs has not gained any weight after 4 months of pregnancy, I suspect that Baby will be skinny.

What about skin colour? Will Baby be fair or dark? Hmm…….

The Mrs is complaining that Baby is too much like me when it comes to food. As mentioned in my earlier post, Food, I am the ‘eat-to-live’ sort of person and what usually happens during lunch is I will ask my colleagues to decide what and where they want to go for lunch and I will then select my lunch from there. The Mrs is the exact opposite. She will think of what she wants for lunch and then go straight to that place.

Currently we have a little problem because in the past Mrs will decide what she wants for dinner and as usual I will go there and pick out something from there. These days, the Mrs (we suspect due to the influence of Baby) has got no cravings whatsoever. So I will look at her and her at me and we have no idea where to go. She is afraid Baby will be like me, “lack character” as she likes to put it.

Speaking of character, we are guessing will Baby be as stubborn as me or worse still as stubborn as the Mrs. Ha Ha

Most importantly what about health genes? I used to have sinus and asthma, both of which are controlled by daily medication. I have been on these medications for a little over a year now and amazingly I do not have running nose and I do not even remember when my last asthma attack was.

Besides these minor “defects” I guess the Mrs and I are considered rather healthy.

p.s. If any of you or your spouses are suffering from asthma and not doing anything about it, you should. It is neither painful nor troublesome. My daily medications consist of a nasal spray, an inhaler (not the usual Ventolin which one takes during an attack) and a tablet. Before you know it, you can run the marathon or try out for the triathlon.

Essentials

The Mrs went dinner with her friends last night and gotten some tips and valuable advices from those that are mothers already. These covered the usual how to take care of herself and also what to spend and not to spend on Baby.

Honestly besides the standard Pram, car seat, cot and safety gate (to keep my dog out), we have not looked at any other essentials to buy. From the top of my head some of the essentials that we need to look into are the baby bathtub, diapers, breast pumps, baby soap and shampoo. I know there are probably many more but I remain as you know, “clueless”. What do we look for when buying these stuffs? Where do we go for bargains? How many to buy?

As it is there are already mothers who advised against buying the cot because it seems there are babies who refuse to sleep in them when they are slightly older. This friend’s baby who is 1 now will cry non-stop when placed in the cot when she was about 6 months old and she has been sleeping with her parents ever since. My brother-in-law’s baby also refuses to sleep in the cot after about 4 months. The theory is when the baby wakes up and does not see anyone familiar he will start to cry. Now that he is sleeping on the mattress besides the maid, he has stopped crying in the middle of the night.

Any advice on how to ensure your baby will continue to sleep in the cot till older? I know of kids who are still sleeping with their parents even though they are about 5 or 6 years old. While I do not mind my children sleeping in together occasionally but I will draw the line at maybe once a week. I would like for the Mrs and me to continue to have our privacy or is this wishful thinking?

A nice friend has generously offered to give us her cot so that we can save some money especially there is a good chance Baby may want to “gate-crash” our bed.

The Mrs also heard the same girl who refuses to sleep on her own refuses to be strapped down in the car seat! She has to be carried during the entire journey so it rules out any parent bringing her out on their own. So the car seat is out the window (not literally of course) and it costs them a good $500 plus. Luckily the car seat that we are looking at now is nowhere near that price range.

I am counting on you experienced parents to point the way to what other essentials we have to look into and where to buy them. I like the baby bathtub at Toys' R Us and it costs something like $50 and so far I like the safety gate (not sure if it is called that) at Kiddy’s Palace because it is not flimsy and it is of reasonable price. I actually prefer those that do not leave a bar at the bottom when the door is opened in case Baby trips over it in the future. I like those that will open as a whole like a normal door.

The only essentials that we bought recently and we do not require any help with are clothes for the Mrs. Although her weight has maintained about the same with 1 or 2 kg variation depending what time of the day she weighs herself, her tummy is definitely growing bigger. By now most of her bottoms and some of her tops cannot be worn anymore so we went shopping over last two weekends and got her some clothes. She still refuses to buy anything from the maternity shops and I believe it is a challenge to see how long she can go without having to wear maternity clothes. I understand this is a common thinking amongst some mothers-to-be and I can’t help but to feel that by buying over-sized clothes from non-maternity shops such as Zara, BYSI, Gap and M)phosis constitute as cheating.

The Mrs actually managed to get some very nice clothes from these shops and they are actually a fraction of the price that maternity shops charge. I commented that she is lucky in the sense that baby doll dress / tops are in now so she can buy more clothes and maybe she can still wear them after the whole pregnancy. However she is conscious that these clothes will make her look pregnant so I believe they will be stashed away waiting for our next baby’s arrival.

Personally I find this “happy-to-be-pregnant-but-afraid-to-show” attitude a tad confusing. From where I stand I get a very genuine sense of excitement the more the tummy grows. I think this is because throughout the course of pregnancy it is only the mums that really feel the changes and the babies inside them. While we dads know there are changes but we don’t feel them so at times it seems a little unreal. We know the Mrs are eating more, having food cravings and at the same time vomiting but these are all from a 3rd party’s perspective. Without the tummy growing or the Gynae’s confirmation, the Mrs could very well be bulimic for all we know. It is really with the tummy’s (baby’s) growth that we can be sure that we are indeed going to be fathers. It is like a form confirmation. I told the Mrs that I want her tummy to show as soon as possible so that whenever we are out, people will know how lucky we are. Plus she can also get a seat on the train or the bus without people thinking she is trying to pass off as pregnant just to get a seat with that small tummy.