Harder

We learned during our 1st pregnancy that every pregnancy is different and this applies to even the same mother. However nothing was said about the feelings and emotions that fathers feel will also differ. This I learned from my own experience now.

During Isaac’s days I took all the bad experiences that the Mrs was experiencing as part and parcel of being pregnant but the feeling I’m getting now is really quite different. This time round I feel bad and even guilty that the Mrs has to “suffer” so much again. I believe the main difference is that we already have Isaac now so it really got me questioning if she needs to go through this at all. After this experience I believe it will be harder to agree to go for another one.

We are still only in our 1st trimester, about 10 weeks to be exact, so there is not much to update except for the morning sickness, lack of appetite, weight lost and fatigue which are common symptoms.

Like the 1st pregnancy, the Mrs is suffering not from morning sickness but rather all day sickness although this time round the vomiting is more regular and a lot more intense. While in the past she may feel nauseous throughout the day but she would actually only vomit 2 to 3 times a day. This time round she is going like 6 – 7 times every other day. It is getting so bad that we are having many more plastic bags in the car. I actually requested for friends and relatives to “steal” a few of the airsickness bags from the plane whenever they travel. Not sure if you recalled but this was exactly what I did, stocked up the car with a few of these bags when she was carrying Isaac. I think they are better than plastic bags. However this time round I have a feeling we do require a few more of those.

Due to the constant sickness she has lost her appetite and is eating quite little and as a result of this she has lost weight just like the 1st pregnancy. Till date she has lost about 5 KG already which was her total weight lost the last time before putting on 7 - 8KG by the end of the pregnancy. So if we nett it off she only gained 2 - 3KG in total when compared to pre-pregnant days.

During the days that she feels better she will sometimes get greedy. She will want to order this and that but when the food arrives, she may take only 2 bites and decided she cannot stomach them. I promised myself I will not make the same mistake this time and will work on not gaining any sympathy weight at all. Unlike her I am still stuck with the 3KG that I gained during her pregnancy. So the strategy is to let her order and start eating before I will consider my own food. In case she gives up then I will not end up eating 2 shares again.

She is also feeling more fatigue when compared to the last time but somehow being at work seems to be able to make her forget about it. This is the same as before. Whenever she is at work she will usually be feeling better but once she knocks off and heads home all the fatigue and sickness will kick in. While she can handle the fatigue, she finds the fact she cannot carry Isaac much harder to take. She feels bad towards Isaac because due to this fatigue she has no energy to carry and play with him. The only chance she can get is playing with him when he is crawling and rolling on our bed but I guess nothing can replace the feeling of carrying him in her arms and close to her heart.

As much as we appreciate Ani we still prefer to get more involved with Isaac. The Mrs is relieved to see that while she is “down” I am doubling up for the two of us. I will try and spend more time playing with Isaac and also bathing him each night. The Mrs will try and take on the easier task of feeding and putting him to sleep whenever she is up to it. This way we get to spend more time bonding with Isaac.

Isaac has been an angel so far and has left rather big shoes for his siblings to fill.