Wednesday, 13 August 2008


We learned during our 1st pregnancy that every pregnancy is different and this applies to even the same mother. However nothing was said about the feelings and emotions that fathers feel will also differ. This I learned from my own experience now.

During Isaac’s days I took all the bad experiences that the Mrs was experiencing as part and parcel of being pregnant but the feeling I’m getting now is really quite different. This time round I feel bad and even guilty that the Mrs has to “suffer” so much again. I believe the main difference is that we already have Isaac now so it really got me questioning if she needs to go through this at all. After this experience I believe it will be harder to agree to go for another one.

We are still only in our 1st trimester, about 10 weeks to be exact, so there is not much to update except for the morning sickness, lack of appetite, weight lost and fatigue which are common symptoms.

Like the 1st pregnancy, the Mrs is suffering not from morning sickness but rather all day sickness although this time round the vomiting is more regular and a lot more intense. While in the past she may feel nauseous throughout the day but she would actually only vomit 2 to 3 times a day. This time round she is going like 6 – 7 times every other day. It is getting so bad that we are having many more plastic bags in the car. I actually requested for friends and relatives to “steal” a few of the airsickness bags from the plane whenever they travel. Not sure if you recalled but this was exactly what I did, stocked up the car with a few of these bags when she was carrying Isaac. I think they are better than plastic bags. However this time round I have a feeling we do require a few more of those.

Due to the constant sickness she has lost her appetite and is eating quite little and as a result of this she has lost weight just like the 1st pregnancy. Till date she has lost about 5 KG already which was her total weight lost the last time before putting on 7 - 8KG by the end of the pregnancy. So if we nett it off she only gained 2 - 3KG in total when compared to pre-pregnant days.

During the days that she feels better she will sometimes get greedy. She will want to order this and that but when the food arrives, she may take only 2 bites and decided she cannot stomach them. I promised myself I will not make the same mistake this time and will work on not gaining any sympathy weight at all. Unlike her I am still stuck with the 3KG that I gained during her pregnancy. So the strategy is to let her order and start eating before I will consider my own food. In case she gives up then I will not end up eating 2 shares again.

She is also feeling more fatigue when compared to the last time but somehow being at work seems to be able to make her forget about it. This is the same as before. Whenever she is at work she will usually be feeling better but once she knocks off and heads home all the fatigue and sickness will kick in. While she can handle the fatigue, she finds the fact she cannot carry Isaac much harder to take. She feels bad towards Isaac because due to this fatigue she has no energy to carry and play with him. The only chance she can get is playing with him when he is crawling and rolling on our bed but I guess nothing can replace the feeling of carrying him in her arms and close to her heart.

As much as we appreciate Ani we still prefer to get more involved with Isaac. The Mrs is relieved to see that while she is “down” I am doubling up for the two of us. I will try and spend more time playing with Isaac and also bathing him each night. The Mrs will try and take on the easier task of feeding and putting him to sleep whenever she is up to it. This way we get to spend more time bonding with Isaac.

Isaac has been an angel so far and has left rather big shoes for his siblings to fill.


Nicole said...

Hi Dylan,
I can understand what your Mrs is going through right now.

When I had Claire back then, I vomitted all the way for 4 months! I will puked out every single meal and even drinking water will cause me to puke. Worse, I lost weight like nobody's buiness and I have to carry plastic bags everywhere I went.

And when I had Cleo back then, I also felt very bad towards Claire as I can't carry her, can't do much with her and basically, so tired and impatient that I always lost my cool towards her.

So, that's when, the hubby have to be really understanding and helpful. Which you are.

Don't worry, tell your Mrs, this terrible phrase will pass really soon.

All the best!:)

Unknown said...

Congrats!! :D Muz take gd care of the Missus.

Anonymous said...

It's rather unusual for a man to blog about "parenthood" u r indeed amazing. ur descriptions are even more detailed than a woman's blog.. nice if all husbands including mine at home could spend more time study how woman feels especially during our pregnancy days.. enjoy the journey :)


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

I'm sure you will understand since you had a number 2.

The Mrs is vomiting so much that she doesn't even want to drink plain water to take her medicine. As a result she is taking them on and off whenever she is feeling better. I do hope that this sickness will pass soon.

Like you the Mrs is carrying plastic bags with her everywhere she goes now.

Compared to you I think the Mrs had it easier because Isaac is still too young to demand attention from his mummy. As long as his old man here carries him he will be fine.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi JJ,

Thanks!! I will do my best for the Mrs and Isaac.

BTW did something happen to your blog? I can't access for a while back then but now I can get access through your link here.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Passerby,

Thanks for visiting and leaving your comment.

I'm sure it is not so unusual for men to blog about parenthood nowadays. Maybe they are doing it more discreetly that's all.

"Ur descriptions are even more detailed than a woman's blog"?!?!?! Er....thanks I think?!?! Hahahaha I'm not sure if I should take it as a compliment! LOL

Do come back again for more updates and surprises!!

Anonymous said...

Hey I am as fit as a fiddle does that mean I am not preg yet? hehe, I am wondering out loud a lot of things..


Mrs Chew.. hehehe..

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Jolin,

As I said each pregnancy is different even if it is for the same lady. So you may not necessarily feel fatigue when you're pregnant.

My Sis is a good example. She did not have any morning sickness at all and she is still doing her yoga twice a week even though she is due for delivery in 2 month's time.

Maybe you should go on a long vacation with your husband just for this purpose. Nice right?

Anonymous said...

I've heard that acupressure bands sold at Guardian help a lot with morning sickness.

Mine was a milder form of morning sickness, I only felt like puking but didn't actually puke, and yeah, the loss of appetite, which depressed me because I eat for two even if I'm not preggers!

My gynae gave me some anti-nausea pills at around the 6-7 week mark, and I also got some ginger tea from my herbalist.

Since the 2nd trimester was only a few weeks away, I'll never know if my remedies worked, or if it was just a natural progression into the honeymoon phase.

F A I T H said...

Hi Dylan
Indeed, one good thing about your Mrs expecting #02 now is the fact that Issac is still too young to demand lots of attention. By the time your Mrs delivered #02, Issac might just be starting to walk or perhaps, started walking but becoming more steady. Then your Mrs can play and jump around iwth him, and he'd feel "Wow! Mommy can do all these!!!" If Issac had already entered toddlerhood (like my girls) and had been playing a lot with your Mrs, then he might feel mommy can't do this and that now "bcos of the baby in her". So I do think its a blessing to have #02 now than later. Come to think of it, I can't imagine my 12-kg girls wanting a piggy back ride or tummy ride if I'm expecting and having morning sickness! They might as well kill me! Hahaha...

Anonymous said...

Yea sounds like a fantastic idea, maybe it can put the thought off my mind for a bit, I am really going gaga thinking about this day and night and even in my dreams!!! hahaa... Well be sure I WILL definitely update you ASAP.. haha

Mrs Chew...
p/s In the mean time take care of your wife!! it's needless to say lah, knowing how nice a hub you are.. :)

Anonymous said...

yah, i see her vomit today hor, i also shudder man. makes me thankful that i am still fairly fit and still can head for my Yoga...

Mrs Chew, kekekekekeke..., good that you are fit now! Before I was preggers, I was going for fairly physical Yoga classes such as Power class, Vinyasa, etc., and have been always had a v healthy diet (i dun even snack or fancy chocolate / desserts for that matter!)

I think being in that physical form helps me a lot through this pregnancy. Like my bro said, my EDD is less than 2 months away and even my gynae suspects that I may deliver earlier 'cos usually for his patients who are active, they tend to deliver 1 - 2 weeks earlier. I still can outwalk some of my colleagues!!! So take the time to condition and nourish your body, I think the lifestyle and discipline will come in handy. ;)

Oh, one piece of warning, being preggers changed my palate totally, I now LUST for desserts AND chocolates!!!! *gasp*! So, be warned!!!!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Evelyn,

Thanks for your concerns and suggestions.

I have to say that this acupressure band is new to us. Will check it out.

The Mrs was prescribed with some anti-nausea pills as well but they did not seem to work.

Ginger tea was of no use when she was with Isaac. Not sure if it will work this time round but will definitely try it out.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Faith

Although the Mrs shares our same sentiment about it is better to be pregnant now while Isaac is still too young to demand any attention, she is still feeling guilty for spending enough time with him or carrying him more.

I guess this is normal and nothing can really replace the feeling of holding one's own in the arms and hugging him.

I really laughed out loud when I saw "they might as well kill me!"

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Jolin,

I'm glad you like me idea of going away for a vacation.

According to most people it will work as you will not be so stressed up by it.

Good Luck!!

A Husband's Voice said...


Yup you definitely were lucky for not feeling nauseous at all. Seeing her puke everyday really made me feel bad since there is really nothing I can do about it.