Monday, 22 September 2008


Over the weekend we attended a very nice wedding. It was a church wedding on a Saturday afternoon followed by a dinner reception at the Ritz Carlton on Sunday night.

I have attended church weddings before but this was a little different. To begin with the dress code was lounge suit so almost all the guys there were in suits and some of the ladies, my oh my, came in their nicest Sunday church dresses complete with the floral hats and feather hair pieces. It was like one of those weddings that we often see in movies.

The dinner was just as extravagant and the attendees included an Ambassador, Mediacorp artistes, businessmen and company heads and directors. I was commenting to the Mrs that only with weddings for the people much higher up the social ladder will you be able to get 99% of the men to turn up in suits. I know for a fact that even if I were to host my wedding reception again this weekend and indicate that the dress code is Black Tie, I will have at least 50% of the people ignoring my simple request. It is just not in us the common people. I know my parents’ friends and relatives are people who do not wear suits much less own one.

Anyway it is not my intention to talk about the spectacle of the wedding but rather about the meaning of weddings and marriages.

I have attended many weddings and most of them with the Mrs but somehow the wedding over the weekend “touched” me the most. I believed it has everything to do with the fact that the Mrs and I celebrated our 9th anniversary on Friday, the 19th of September. We got married on the 19.09.1999.

Sitting there in church and listening to the Reverend it felt as if he was talking to the two of us instead of the bride and groom. So many of the things he said made sense. What made the most impression on me was when he told the couple that the marriage is a journey that the two of them chose to embark together. It is 2 people living 1 life and the sooner they realize that there is no perfect marriage and there will be arguments and quarrels then the better it will be for them.

He went on to add that with each other they will fear no rain because in each other they will find shelter. With each other they will not have loneliness because in each other they will find companionship and with each other they will not fear hardship because in each other they will find support. (I have to clarify that what I had typed above was something to the effect of what the Reverend said. Wished I took notes then I can quote him word for word).

During the dinner the Best Man also gave a speech and what he said also made a lot of sense but for the life of me I can’t recall word for word what he said. All I remembered was it was wise and definitely sound advice. Spoken like a true married man I am not sure if the newly weds will be able to grasp as much as I did and if they did then I truly hope they did not forget just as quickly like me.

The Mrs and I are married for 9 years now and on the 7th year everything was smooth sailing as well. There was certainly no itch whatsoever. I am not sure if it is good or no good because over these 9 years our life (2 bodies living 1 life remember?) has been rather uneventful. There were of course the owning and moving into our current place and up until the birth of Isaac the most interesting and exciting things that happened to us were our holidays and cars changing (speaking of which we changed again slightly more than a month ago but that is another story for another day).

I remembered very clearly in my speech during my own wedding 9 years ago, I said that “to find your soul mate (ok, I didn’t use soul mate then but you get the idea) amongst the millions upon millions of people out there is really not easy so we have to really cherish one another”.

Now, I think I understand better that marriage is more than just signing a piece of paper or merging of the 2 families together. If someone who is not married were to ask me today what marriage is, I will tell them that it is a commitment to each other that you will work hard in keeping the marriage alive. It will be mundane at times, it will also be hard and that is why you both have to work doubly hard to keep it exciting and interesting.

After having spent the last 9 years together we have probably taken certain things about each other for granted. Even simple things like we will wake up to find our other half breathing right next to us. I hate to imagine how life will be should I wake up one day to find the Mrs no longer there and I have to continue on with the journey alone.

Each year I will arrange to send the Mrs a bouquet of flowers on our anniversary with a simple message and this year’s was:

To my dearest wife,

Thank you very much for 9 wonderful years and Isaac and now the twins!

Love always



Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

I decided to drop you a little message here.. Congrats.. ! You will definately have to bethe bestest father for your upcoming twins and of course yr little prince. How do you feel when you know that its a twin? You or Mrs's family has twins?



Anonymous said...

Wow, did I see it correct, twins?! Anyway, congratulations!


Your faithful reader.

Nyeshia's mummy said...

Twins Twins Twins ??????
Congrats Dylan.
It's just so wonderful....

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan

no man's land said...

happy anniversary!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Ivy,

I hope you're feeling better by now.

As for being the 'bestest' father to the twins and Isaac, I will certainly try my best. This is after all my first time as a father.

We have mixed feelings when we first found out. Don't want to reveal too much now since I will be touching on it in my next post. So I guess that means you have to stay tuned.

The Mr's family had twins.


A Husband's Voice said...

Hello there Faithful Reader,

Yes, we are indeed expecting twins and thanks for your well wishes!

Appreciate it if you leave me your name then next time you leave your comment?


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Eve,

Yes Yes Yes!!!!!!

Thanks!! It is indeed wonderful if we can look pass all the money and logistic issues! Hahaha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Lee,

Welcome and thanks!!

Do come back and leave your comments more often!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hello Roanne,


F A I T H said...

Hi Dylan!
Congrats!!! Welcome to the TWINS club!!! Pray for B/G combi!!!Kekeke...

I'll definitely include you and your Mrs when organising playdates for twins at my place in future. Something to look forward to!

Oh yes, happy belated anniversary to you too. Yes, I remember we share the same anniversary (dd/mm). And I too believe time management is the key once you have more than one child. You and your Mrs will definitely continue to enjoy some "Me" time after the twins arrival. No worries!


F A I T H said...

By the way, RE twins strollers, I think there are pros and cons. We bought the Maclaren Twin Techno. It is not too heavy (11.7kg which is about the weight of my girls at 15 months) and it has no problem getting onto/into escalators/elevators of most dept stores/malls. But it takes up space in the car trunk. A lot of space, in fact. However, the twin stroller was a MUST for me as I needed it to bring my girls for walks while my helper cooks and cleans the house. I used it daily for about half a year. Once the girls were able to walk, they refuse the stroller, so I sold it online. So unless you find it absolutely necessary to get one, I suggest you just get another single stroller. :)

Unknown said...

congrats!! (^-^)

happy belated anniversary to u & ur wife!! \(^-^)/

mummy yio said...

Hi Dylan,

Thats really sweet of you towards the Mrs. Your post kinda put some thoughts into my head. Coz eversince we had our baby, we changed... I think lack of sleep and alteration to our usual lifestyle has affected us in ways that we never thought of... I am more short tempered than before and he is 'helpless' or should it be 'clueless' somtimes and wondering why my fuse is so much shorter these days... Your post made me remember the times before baby was here... Think must work on it man...

Anonymous said...

Wow Wow. Maybe you'd been such good parents that God decided to give you more than what you'd asked for. :) Couldnt believe wat I'd read at first haha . . . 3 babies!!! (if you consider Issac still a baby by then)

Lovely family . . . :)

The Bimbo said...


Thank you for sharing this post. I'd be one of those unmarried ones you mention there. I guess that's why it's tough to find another "half" to share the same will and strength to work hard at it together. *wonder if I will ever find one* haha

Anyway... I caught that little note too... TWINS!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Faith,

Thanks!! You have no idea how much we pray for at least a girl in there. We do not mind if it is B/G or G/G so long as there is a G in there.

Think it will be a while more before we bring them to your Twins Party.

I really hope you are right about the "me" time boy! ;p

Thank you also for your input on the twin stroller. It is most helpful to hear from a mum with twins. As of now we are still leaning towards getting another single stroller. The 3 of them will share 2 strollers.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Janice,

Thanks for your well wishes!!


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Quek,

I'm no expert in relationships since I have been married for only 9 years and I'm definitely no expert in child care since Isaac is our first. All that I'm doing is blog about my experience and whatever comes to mind.

In the process if it got you all to think and reflect on your life and relationship then I'm happy.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bebe,

Actually God did answer my prayers to have 3 kids but maybe I wasn't very clear on the timing. Twins was really a (pleasant) surprise.

Isaac will always be a baby to us!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Speaking of singles, I always thought that you are one of the few that didn't fit my readers' profile. I believe 90% of them are mummies so I didn't think you'll stick around this long.

It is true that it is not easy to find your soul mate but don't lose hope there. I'm sure he is out there somewhere.

So you were one of those that picked up my subtle clues huh?! Well done!

I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! wow twins! is it in your family genes?

Not forgetting Happy Anniversary to you and your mrs!


The Woos said...


Congrats on having twins!

Thanks for wishing me a belated happy birthday. =) quite surprised to see that comment cos I didn't know you knew I was reading your blog...oops! heheh

Here's wishing you and Mrs a happy belated anniversary!

Trisha's Mummy

Baby Ze said...


i think this is the 1st time i am leaving a msg in ur blog.

TWINS...congrates..happy for you as well..

wonder is this y mrs is having a hard time this pregancy compared to the time having issac...

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Circusbugs,

Thanks for visiting and leaving your comment.

The gene is from the Mrs's side of the family.

Do come back more often ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Trisha's mummy,

Yes I know you read my blog long ago and since then I have been following your family's journey as well. From the time you were in Singapore to you relocation to Holland as well as your holidays all over Europe.

Thanks for your well wishes!

Don't be a stranger now and leave comments ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Baby Ze's mum,

Yes I believe this is the first time you are leaving your comment. Thanks for that.

We did check with Dr N and he also confirmed that having twins did affect the Mrs a little more than last time. That was why she had a really hard time during the 1st trimester.

Do come back for more updates ya?!

Chew Family said...

WOW Dylan WOW....
Yr closing post do give me surprises.

Congrats to you & Mrs!

So happy & excited for you.
With twins in Mrs, i guess thats one of the reason why she is having a hard time during the 1st trimester. Hope she is well now.
Take Care Ya!

And be looking forward to more updates from you.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dylan

OMG…Cant help but to post a Congratulations note here!

I've been following your blog since day 1 (cos your wife and my EDD were pretty close) and have been using your wife’s “updates” as a benchmark (yes, I’m a 1st time mummy too).

Was just sharing with my hubs that Mrs is now pregnant again with TWINS!! We are very happy for you. Do post more often k? It’s fun reading your blog.. Take care!

- SK

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Sharyn,

Thanks for your excitement. Can really feel it from here!

Ya we figured the Twins were probably the reason why she felt the way she did during the 1st trimester.

We're glad it’s over now and she is feeling much better. She can shop and boy can she eat most of the time. She's looking for supper most nights and I'm happy.

I'm praying that the 3rd trimester will be kind to her as well. Fingers crossed.

I will surely keep you all posted!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi SK,

Wow! You have been following my blog for about 16 months and it had to take the Twins to get you to drop a comment huh?!?! Hahaha

Thanks for sharing our joy and excitement.

I will try and post more often but you need to leave comments more often too, okay? I don't think we can produce another set of Twins just to see you leave your comments again! Hee Hee

Take Care!

Aces Family said...

hi Dylan,

Happy 9th Anniversary to both if you.

I like the notes on the wedding, especially when you have walked the journey for 9 years and many more ahead. Indeed, some simple words can give us such great inspiration... : )

All the best on the next journey to welcome the twins...btw,does Mrs enjoy DOUBLE the Baby bonus ?? How does it works for twins - 8 mths maternity leaves?...hee : P

The Bimbo said...


Hey hey hey! I'm a mummy too ok! I have a baby who needs my care too :P But of course it's different from being a mommy like your Mrs. :) I don't really want to be in those shoes yet. Too big for me.

Saw your comment in my blog. Yup it'll be hard. Even now as I'm in TW, I still cry and worry about her back there. But it's a growing up process for your child AND you as a parent ba.

Ahh since it's two this time, do we get double the updates?

heh heh

A Husband's Voice said...

Thanks Astee!

I have never been so inspired by words about marriage and wedding. I am really glad I attended the church wedding this time.

I know you are joking about the 8 months maternity leave. As far as I know even the baby bonus and every other benefit do not apply to twins. This means that the Government is only looking at per pregnancy so even if we have triplets it will be the same as having 1 child.

Not quite fair if you ask me especially when they want the numbers and we are giving it to them.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Is Taiwan that boring that you visit my blog even when you're over there? Hahaha

I agree with you that it will be a growing up process for Isaac and us as parents but it will not be easy.

Two times the updates?! I am trying to prevent reaching half the updates since they will require two times my spare time. Hee Hee

nana said...

Hi Dylan,

Congratulations on your 9th Anniversary! Here's wishing you many many more blissful years ahead! =)

A Husband's Voice said...

Thanks again Nana!!

F A I T H said...

Hi Dylan

The policy changed in 2005. Twins are considered 2 individuals and not per delivery, so Twin #1 will be entitled to the $10K baby bonus package while Twin #2 (being your 3rd child) enjoys the $18K package. Great news, isn't it?

The Child Development Account (CDA)set up for the twins can also be shared with Issac, in case you're not aware. :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Faith,

That is great news indeed!!!

Truth be told I am not familiar at all with the Baby Bonus and CDA.

I guess I better start reading it up more.