Friday, 5 September 2008


Isaac has not been feeling too well lately. First it was fever over the last weekend and it went on and off for a couple of days. Now that the fever has subsided he has been coughing for the last few days.

The last time he coughed like that it was about 2 months back and we wanted to bring him down to our PD, Dr Belinda but were told not to after we called. She is a firm believer of not administering medicine for babies unless absolutely necessary. So she told us to apply Vicks on his chest and feet. Let him wear socks and elevate his legs when he sleeps. It proved to be effective because the cough was gone in a matter of days.

This time however my parents were more anxious and insisted that we allow them to feed this Chinese medicine that will help remove phlegm. I resisted when they called me yesterday afternoon even though they had already bought the medicine and mind you it is not cheap. For 3 small packets it cost them S$61. What transpired after that were lots of complaining from them to Ani about me. The poor girl probably felt very helpless since she was caught in the middle that she cried a little last night when relating her ordeal to the Mrs.

Yesterday was not the first time that my opinion clashed with those of my parents. The first incident was the sarong issue. My mum being old school “strongly encouraged” me to get a sarong for Isaac and this was when he was a newborn. I stood firm then and told her I definitely do not want him to develop the habit of being rocked to sleep. Although she complained she knew there was little she could do knowing how stubborn her son can be. By the way my MIL also had issues with us for not allowing Isaac to sleep in a sarong. Did I mention I was so proud of Isaac when he simply refused to sleep in one after my MIL insisted on putting him in? She conceded defeat and exclaimed that she has never come across a kid that doesn’t like the sarong. If you ask me it is all about conditioning from young.

Next was the walker issue and although this was a smaller matter but a battle that I lost no doubt. Without informing us my parents went out and bought Isaac his walker. I can understand and appreciate the kind gesture. After all they are grandparents buying stuff for their grandson. I was a little surprised when we got to their place to pick Isaac up and saw him in the walker. So I went over and explain to her why I prefer for him not to be in the walker. I could tell that she did not understand my logic after all there are millions of kids on walkers so I told her since Isaac was still too young to learn to walk, they can put him down and push him around. However once his legs are touching the floor then I would prefer for them not to introduce the walker to him. That conversation either fell on deaf ears or forgotten because he is now pushing himself about in his walker everyday.

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing seriously wrong with the walkers. It is just that my sis sent me this article so I though I would like for Isaac to try and go without the walker. In any case Dr Belinda is also not a believer of the walker.

I may be complaining here but there is absolutely no doubt that I understand they are doing all these out of their love for Isaac. It is just that how do you tell your parents you want your kid to be raise a certain way without hurting their feelings? Do you lose the rights to your way of parenting the minute you leave your kid with a caregiver?

This is also precisely why we are working towards the goal of making the Mrs a stay at home mum when Isaac turns 3 or so. Currently it is impossible for us with all the financial commitment and our current lifestyle. And with more babies coming and no way of knowing how much a financial strain they will add on us, that goal is still but a dream at this point in time. (The Mrs will no doubt be sad to read this bit)

Anyway for your interest we relented this morning. Isaac was coughing and we could hear that there is phlegm so we told them to proceed to give him the medicine. So it is now my parents 2 and me 1 but how is keeping score right?

Meanwhile the Mrs finally went on the drip last week. On Thursday she was so dehydrated that the nurses at Dr N’s clinic kept her at the clinic to be on the drip till about 8.30pm and Dr N had to make a special trip back to the clinic just to see her. She was told to go back again on Friday for another day of drip and I do mean a day because she was there from 8.30am till about 4.30 in the afternoon. She was given MC till Monday but she went back to work yesterday as her own boss is back in town after about a week of traveling. She is feeling better now. At least she is not vomiting 6 – 7 times a day. There are even days that she can go without hurling at all but usually there will be about 1 – 3 times.

To end on a lighter note, below are a few pictures and a video of Isaac after he turned 8mths old. Enjoy!

Hungry hungry Hippo?!?!

I always refer this as his "Ugly Face". Oh, don't miss out the little exposed tummy!

Any resemblance you think?

Unfortunately can't get the little one to look straight. Nice family photo nonetheless.


Nicole said...

I was watching Isaac's video and Claire heard and asked me if it's Cleo. Haha! I told her it's another baby, not her younger sister, she came and watched and told me she like to see 'this baby' laughed. She said it's so cute!

Back to the topic, it's sure is a touchy topic.

For walker, since Cleo is on it(not that often though), I can't comment much.

But overall, I got the picture. It's really exasperating that it seems that you lost the 'right' the moment you leave your baby with others(read:besides you and mrs). So you have to be 'hold hostage' and will be at others' 'mercy'.

I can't and wouldn't even begin to imagine what my kids will/would have go/gone through IF they're being raised by my MIL! I can imagine them eating 'rubbish'all the time, dirty most of the time. Not that I'm implying that my MIL is feeding them rubbish, but her theory of 'rubbish eat , rubbish big(in hokkien)' seriously irks me. So it's good that she's not the one taking care of my kids.

Sometimes, grandparents,(meaning our own parents) doesn't understand. They cannot understand that why they can use this method to raise all of us and why can't we apply the same theory, logic. THey also failed to see why it's not acceptable. And their defense will be like' that's how I raised you in the past!'

For my own mother, the good thing is, she's very modernised thinking. Meaning to say, she'll tell me to feed Cleo cereal through milk bottle, which I rejected and fed her with bowl and spoon. She didn't start again. Even though she'll still once in a while, tell me 'that's how I used to feed the 4 of you in the past'. I told her yes, but I don't want the feed Cleo with milk bottle. Point taken.

So it's really a very tough issue on how to tackle this 'problem'. Without hurting them and also make them feel that their help are not appreciated.

Not trying to be mean, but I'm so glad that I'm the one taking care of my kids..for now. :)

nana said...

Hi Dylan,

haha.. what u mentioned here sounds so familiar... only i handled them very differently fm u - I compromised, or rather, i let my MIL decide most of the time.

My mentality is that since i leave my kid(s) in her care, I'll respect her way of handling things. I do share with her what i learnt fm books & internet, but i do not insist that she follow what the experts advised. I've been telling myself, if i want it MY way, then i hv to be a SAHM. If my MIL has to be the caregiver, I'll juz close 1 (or both) eyes...

So far, my kids hv been well taken care of, while me & my ILs maintain our cordial relationship - so i view it as a win-win situation. =)

The Bimbo said...

Dear Dylan,

I can see what you mean. Sigh I see my friends struggling with this too. However I admire your patience in dealing with them and how you don't let things get too heated up. Not good for BB also. All the best with that ya.

Glad to hear that your wife's feeling better ;)

Lionel n Rachel said...

hey dylan,
i second nana's thots. i do agree that since my ils are the main caregiver now, i let them do what they tink is right. Maybe only once or twice, i do suggest & urge them not to do this or that.

sometimes when i notice my son doing something, like walking ard barefooted in & out of the shop, i will ask him who teaches him that. he replys saying ah gong ( my fil) also does that & ah gong says its ok one. i will tell him its nt ok & explain why so; like for hygience reasons & wat if he gets poke by unseen needles/nails. i will also tell my fil: u can do wat u like but this is not kampong days, so pls dun teach ur grandson to follow u.

glad to know ur mrs is much better. take care. :)

Aces Family said...

hi Dylan,

Same as the other comments, i also let my mom decide what's best for my children as she's the main caregiver for anthea when she was a baby.

Of course, before making the decision she will also ask me for my opinion.. : P

Now that i am the main caregiver to my 2 kids, i still need their advice because sometimes "experienced is better than knowledge"...that's my school of thoughts.

Oh..btw, my 2 kids were on walkers and they started walking at quite early stages.: P

So there are always pro and cons to the provision of knowledge compared to reality.

Good Lucks!!

Nyeshia's mummy said...

Cute Isaac never fail to bring a smile on my face. He has grown so much. I watched the video, baby isaac boy is so cute. he's only 1 day older than Nyeshia but the 2 of them are so different.
My gal is still very baby-ish. she's able to crawl now but she's still not able to sit upstraight by herself yet. I'm quite sad abt it actually. Anyway glad that your Mrs is feeling better now and here i wish Isaac a speedy recovery : )

Anonymous said...

hey.. my girls go to Dr. Belinda too... and yes she is a firm believer of NOT giving excessive medication to bb... so sometimes we also lost at what to do... she say so small no medication just let it heal by itself...
Been a LONG time since i visited ur site and SURPRISE that you are going to be a daddy all over again! Congrats!

Trina said...

my hb and i will usually have a set of agreed way of upbringing, and if either set of grandparents try to instill their own methods which are against ours, we'll talk to our respective parents. Though I'll usually let my parents, who are the caregivers of my son in the initial years, decide on how they take care of him during the day, so long as the bottomline is observed, which are mainly sleeping schedules, feeding him with expressed breastmilk where available, not giving sweet stuff.

Irene said...

i agree with Nana as well, my MIL is the the one who took care of my lil missy since birth, so i close BOTH eyes. there are moments which im pissed & the hubs will be the middle man (pity him).

now lil missy is being taken care by a new bbsitter, so far so good, also have to close both eyes. as long as my lil missy is safe, in good hands, im A OK :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Wow Nicole,

Never seen such long comment from you before. Guess you must feel a little stronger about this topic huh?!

Help me thank Claire. I will try and capture more videos for her in future.

I know where you're coming from. There are just things that should not be done to the kids now even though they were done to us when we were young.

Guess bottom line here is my parents and in-laws have their thinking and methods that I may not agree with but they meant well and more often than not they respect our wishes. So they may just nag a little.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Nana,

Guess I am more stubborn than you then. While I appreciate my parents help in caring for Isaac I still prefer for certain things to be done according to my wishes.

Medicine being one of them and the other that I can think of now is sweet stuffs. We told my parents that they are to avoid giving all sweet stuffs except for fruits puree to Isaac since young. Now Isaac is happy drinking just plain water. I intend to hold off introducing sweets especially soft drink to him for as long as I can.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Honestly patience has never been one of my virtues especially when dealing with people. The Mrs played a big part in making sure I handle my parents nicely and respectfully. I've changed quite a bit since we are together.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Yvonne,

Welcome back. Like Nana you are also less stubborn then me.

I do not have a long list of Do's and Don'ts for them, just a few things that I want to stand firm on. So it is a little like your "running around barefooted". Except mine is with medicine amongst other stuffs.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Astee,

I agree that we need to balance the two; i.e. Knowledge and Experience.

Actually they run the show with Isaac mostly on their own. It is only a few things that are my ground rule and they will call to check with me in regards to them.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Eve,

Are they so different in size? From the pictures I cant really tell .... well maybe Isaac is fatter that's all. Hee Hee

Don't be too affected by the different growth rate and things they can or cannot do because they are all individuals and her time to sit, stand, walk and run will come eventually.

So many babies younger than Isaac are already teething but not him. No pearly whites yet.

Isaac has recovered quite a bit already. Not coughing as much now. Thanks!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hey Happyhour,

Yes it has been a long time indeed since you last posted. How have you been? Must be really busy since you have not been coming back. Hahaha

Yes, I am about to be a dad all over again. Do come back more often and soon for more update, laughter and surprises. ;p

Hey I never got your name.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Trina,

Think our method is about the same. We let my parents run the show most of the time too with only a few things that we highlight to them we prefer them to follow.

Hey like you we said no sweet stuffs for Isaac too. We're really glad for that because Isaac has no issue with drinking just water.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Irene,

There is something that I cannot do, close both eyes. Closing an eye is ok because I think that is considered as compromise.

With us it is usually me who gets worked up easily (NOT with our parents) and the Mrs will have to cool me down. Hahaha

Anonymous said...

actually have been reading here and there but i think for a good whole 4 months or so i skipped because I was so bz with my little number 2.

hmm and since i have been reading ur blog for the longest time so here's my turn to share :) enjoy

Anonymous said...

Hi Hi

It's been a long time since I read your blog... cos I have been busy with my own little girl who is now approaching 5months.

And congrats to you and your wifey! You must be jubilant upon knowing you are expecting a lao er on your bday right?

I also see that Isaac's growing to be a handsome lad too! How heavy is he now? He looks big!

Anyway, it's been a long time since I last posted a response to your blog, so I have no idea what was the nick I used. So don't mind if I changed to another nick here hor?

Btw, you can also catch up a little on my girl's development too! left the URL here. :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Happyhour (name please)

Thanks for following and coming back to my humble blog.

I will definitely be reading and following your blog just like I do for all the other readers.


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Ivy (it is Ivy right)

I also forgot what nick you used the last time but believe it or not I have been reading your blog (or rather Faith's blog) all the while too.

I make it a point to follow all my readers’ blogs.

A couple of times I wanted to leave a comment but I had to register and create a new account so I did not. Guess I was too lazy. Hahaha Not sure if I still have to do it now though.

I always wonder does Isaac really look that big?!?! Maybe being on camera adds 5 pounds? LOL

He is actually coming to 9kg now and is becoming quite a handful.

Since you're back now don't be a stranger and leave more comments ya?

Lynne said...

My mil also insisted for my boy to sleep in sarong when she came over to help look after him when my mum went for her holiday.

My son hates it and keep screaming for us to get him out of it. I totally agreed with you on conditioning. Kekeke... My son prefer to sleep on his bed.

Evil Me 1 Mil 0

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Babelicious (name?),

Speaking of your boy (name?), he was also born in Dec 2007 same as Isaac right? How is he now and what does he weigh?

Any blog that I can go visit and see him? I'm trying to find other babies about the same age as Isaac to compare size since a number of people say Isaac is big.

He is wearing clothes for 1 year old now by the way.

Nicole said...

I don't know if you're looking for boys to compare with Isaac's weight or what, but if you're just referring to overall, then Cleo is one you can compare against.

On her clothings part, she can wear bigger size and she's around 9kg now. Height, I don't know cause never measure but she's sure one big girl! Many thought she's at least 1 year old.

So yes, Isaac and Cleo are really quite big size. Haha

And my Cleo is a girl somemore*faint*

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan

Yups, the name's Ivy.

Erm... you have blogged a lot since I stopped reading... That's a lot to catch up... :P

Have even told my hubby about your lao er... and he went, "See, it's good to 'pop, pop, pop' all at the same time." and I went, '... ...'

anyway, since wifey is going through more than the last pregnancy, you both need to take care..., especially yourself, cos you need to take care of 4 pax (wifey, isaac, bb and you) :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

I know that Isaac and Cleo are very similar so I was looking for other babies around Isaac's age to compare with.

I was told many times Isaac is plus size but I never quite agree with them hence I need to look around for proof.

Ya, both of them are big and really cute too! Hee Hee

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Ivy,

Actually I only managed to blog like once a week so it is really not a lot unless you have been gone for months then sure you have quite a bit of catching up to do.

So it seems like your husband is also like me, pro-creating. You won't consider having a second child?

Thanks for your concerns. Don't worry I will take good care of myself. Oh and there are 5 to take care of not 4. Hee Hee