Friday, 6 March 2009


"How are you two coping?" "Can you manage the twins?" "Must be tiring righ?" "Getting enough sleep?"

These seem to be the most common questions that people are directly at us at the moment. We have families, friends, neighbours, colleagues, relatives, readers and yes, even strangers asking us these types of questions almost on a daily basis.

According to the Mrs, there are even strangers who either made a slight detour or simply stood there and waited just to find out if they are indeed twins and ask how we are coping. These people are usually more amazed once they see how young Isaac is.

Now for the benefit of those who are followers of this blog, you will be able to have a better understand just how we are coping, struggling even sometimes.

Generally we are still coping fine with them. Ani as usual is still mainly taking care of Isaac with some additional work such as more laundry and of course the occasional helping out with the feeding and coaxing of the twins.

The Mrs and I are still the main caregivers to the twins. While I am at work she will handle them almost singlehandedly unless of course both of them cry or demand to be fed at the same time. Once I am back from work I will take over from the Mrs the main role of feeding, changing and carrying them. This is to give her a break after all she had to endure their crying and demands for most part of the day already.

There are basically 2 periods in a day that are most tiring. The first being the early evenings when we had to take care of Isaac as well since Ani has to prepare dinner and wash up after we are done amongst other things. This window although tiny, usually about 2 hours, is really quite tiring. Isaac is crawling, climbing and throwing things around non-stop and basically tearing the house apart. Once Ani is done with her chores and showered she will come and take over Isaac while we go back to concentrating on the twins.

For those of you who have been reading this blog since Isaac was a baby may recall that Isaac was usually very cranky during the night from about 9pm till about midnight before he will quiet down and go to sleep. I am wondering if it was our lifestyle when we were pregnant because the same is happening with the twins. They like Isaac are crankier during the night and will be better in the early hours of the morning.

The second most taxing part of the day for me is during the nights. For whatever reasons they will not be able to just lie in their cot and sleep after feeding, unlike during the day. They will be unsettled and before long we will have to carry them. Having said that I am grateful that they usually take turns to be cranky instead of both crying at the same time.

I was just commenting to the Mrs last night that it is starting to feel like there is a punishment waiting for me each night and that is to stand (罚站). Most probably due to the lack of exercise my back is starting to ache as well by standing and carrying the twin (sometimes twins).

So far this Wednesday night was the hardest because the twins took turns to be cranky and kept me up till 4am before finally allowing me to go to sleep. Even then I had to carry Hayley to bed and sleep with her in my arms. Whenever possible I will try and attend to the twins alone during the night feeds because I feel the Mrs is a little more impatient with them in the early hours of the morning. Who could blame her right? After all she had to suffer all the screaming from Isaac and wailing from the twins not to mention all the feeding and changing of diapers. Guess all she wanted was a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Besides being taxing on us physically, it is also very taxing on the monetary front. Take the diapers for example. A bag of 48 diapers will usually only last for about 3 days. The twins are fed and changed every 3 hourly so they will normally use about 16 diapers a day. Thankfully they are still on partial breast milk so this at least helps to reduce the consumption of formula milk.

I understand that there are parents who are successful in potty training their babies even at the very young age of about 6 months. Maybe this is what we should do although I know this is easier said than done.


WaveSurfer said...

You could try practising EC (Elimination Communication) with your children, which can be started as young as from birth.

Surfing the Net for relevant information or reading the book 'Diaper Free Baby' may help in starting you off in this journey. It might not be a simple journey but it benefits parents and babies altogether in the long run.

All the best! ^^

Anonymous said...

would getting a second maid help? because in future when the twins like isaac now demands more attention, it will be a handfull.a second maid should definately be able to lighten the load now. if money is the problem, what about a part-time maid? to help with the meals or help mrs with the twins when you are at work and aini is tending to isaac?
best of luck!

Aces Family said...

hi Dylan,

It's really tough and taxing for both Mrs and You, lucky Ani is a good help.

It's never easy raising a child, now you are raising 2 at the same time plus Issac.

Wishing you and MRs the best and i believe all will turn out well.


Merryn said...

n u still have time to blog? ahh.. how do u do that? mrs n u are a real example of an Energizer Bunny!

Nicole said...

Just reading it makes me feel tired as well*shrudders*

I've went through that stage as well,if you can remember so I can totally understand what you are talking about. And you got 2 of them to cope with.

Isaac will demand more of your attention once he learn to walk/talk and you'll have to interact with him more as well. Talking to him more will help in his communications and development. My twins nephews still can't talk now and they are already 3.5 years old. I'm not exactly sure if it's because the parents doesn't talk to them, they are slower in development(due to them being boys) or what...

I can totally understand why your mrs is 'a little more than impatient' with the babies during the early hours in the morning. Back then, I literally feel like murdering Cleo, and that's with derrick helping out. So it's good that you can help out, in order to prevent the murder of the babies and yourself. Haha...Just kidding.

All I can say is, it will get better. It's just a matter of time. Errr...

Do I sound encouraging??

Take care! :)

The Bimbo said...

mm I do agree with the rest. What about someone to come in and help for a couple of months, though you mentioned that on monetary front it hasn't been easy either. A relative? Your Mrs. is lucky to have you who's understanding enough to take over once you're home. Otherwise 24 hours of 3 babies going non-stop would definitely be hard... Good luck to you two (three including Ami whom I'm sure is finding it taxing too.)


Angie said...

i used to stay up till 3am to carry my girl in my arms till she was about 4mths old because she simply wouldnt sleep and cried if i put her in the cot. by then, my arm was half broken and i am half dead from pacing up and down the room for a few hours at night. i think each night i might hv clocked 5km walking. =_=

did you try gently scatching your babies' backs? issac's too? it is a gentle massage and it soothes the baby. most of them will be contented to lie down for the massage and fall asleep eventually. my girl is now coming to 3yr old and she is still enjoying the back scratching massage.

for diapers... try cheaper alternatives. a couple of us mommies alternate between different brands of diapers to cut cost. NTUC brand is cheap and good actually. we only used mamy poko for the night. For day use, we use brands like NTUC or Nepia.

Trina said...

hi there,

i suppose it must be a really tiring period will literally 3 babies demanding your attention. Erm, not really sure how you'll be able to manage, but seems like sleep training isaac may be a good solution, so that you'll only need to wake up for the twins. Hope you'll be able to find peaceful night rest soon!

Anonymous said...

WOW 48 diapers in 3 days!!! that is sure not very friendly on the pockets!

think on the bright side.. u "suffer" a little now.. in 2 years time it will be pure joy just looking at the 3 of them fight over toys.. argue over shows... and of cos playing happily together.

and pat pat u on ur shoulder for being so nice to MRS to give her the time off in the evening. it sure is a good time off because i tell u... sure pek7 one for the MRS to be alone wif 3 little ones at home for 8 hrs at least before you come home.

keep up the good work!! jia you jia you

Anonymous said...

my ex boss once gave me a golden sentence which i find it very very useful
"it is a phase and it will pass"

when ever u feel tired or irritated from the carrying and crying. Chant this sentence, it helps.

Anonymous said...

It's very normal for babies and toddlers to be "fussy" during the evening. It's the witching hour. This happened to my twins too.
Yes, we do use up quite a fair bit of diapers. And yes, breastfeeding does help to save quite a fair bit of money too. They're still being breastfed now (10 months old). But I'm looking forward to weaning them at 1 year old.
I don't have any helpers apart from my husband. But I'm a full-time mom. At least your Mrs is lucky to have Ani. :)
Take care and rest well whenever you (and Mrs) can. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan & Mrs,

I salute to both of you! Having 3 babies (Include the big brother) at almost the same time is really no joking matter!
Lack of proper sleep, busy with changing, feedings, bathing & playing with the trio. Having survived to this stage, both of you really deserved a BIG SALUTE from me!

Just bear with it for another few months,then it will be lesser or even no more night feeds for the twins, life will get better! It is always the hardest to get started. Once things more settled, it will be easier!

So Dylan & Mrs - Jia You! Jia You!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dylan,

Yes... Potty training. Little nic started his potty training when he is less than a month old.. Now he is 7 mths, he is able to do his business in his potty. Dun worry.. It takes time to communicate with babies...

We believe that you and Mrs are able to do it!!

Take Gd care!!!

Hope to see more pics and up-date from you...

Ed's wifey
(Ed & family)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi WaveSurfer,

Elimination Communication?!?! Hmmm...... Will surely look it up.

I have no doubt that it will be a very long and hard journey and usually one that only a mum can accomplish. I don't think my maid is up to it and I certainly dont want to trouble my parents or in-laws.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Anonymous,

Getting a second maid is certainly an option still and we are still considering.

The problem is really not now as the Mrs and Ani are coping. Although not very well but they are certainly coping.

Our headache is more on what is going to happen once the Mrs goes back to work. What then?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Astee,

Yes we are lucky that Ani is able to help out especially when I am at work.

We knew it will be hard raising 3 babies at the same time. Consolation is they will grow up close to one another.

Thanks again for your concerns!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Merryn,

Yes I make it a point to at least post once a week. Usually a topic will pop up in my head and I will go about my business thinking about how to blog about it so when the time comes to actually type it out, it is not that long.

We laughed out loud when we saw your energizer bunny comment. I hope you are not referring to us being parents of 3 so quickly. Hahahaha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Yes I know you for one will surely appreciate what we are going through. I know you had it tough with Cleo when she was much younger.

Yes we are monitoring Isaac's growth and development and we are constantly engaging him with words and toys and other stuffs.

I am also getting a little impatient myself with the twins these days! Sometimes they just won't go to sleep!! Argh!!!!!

I know things will ease up once they grow a bit more provided we can survive till then.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Bobo,

Actually we are not so concerned about now because between the 3 of us we are able to handle. Not ideal but we will cope.

We are most worried about what happens after the Mrs goes back to work. Where to send them? And it is less than a month away.

Thanks for your encouragement! We will surely come out of this. We may be bruised and battered but I'm sure we will make it through.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Angie,

I totally understand what you went through now. With Isaac it was never this hard so I wouldn't have understood back then.

I will certainly try scratching their backs. As for Isaac, he gets massaged each night before going to bed. That King!!

We have switched to cheaper brand of diapers already. We are using Drypers now and it is rather cheap.

Thanks for your advice and tips!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Trina,

Yes it is indeed hard handling 3 babies.

Good thing is Isaac has only given us little problems since he was born. When it comes to sleeping, he has his usual naps in the day and is usually asleep before 10pm. While he is asleep that is when Ani can help us out with the twins.

As for our peaceful nights?! I am not so hopeful.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cecilia,

It is indeed very tough on the pockets at the rate that the twins are going through diapers.

Honestly I am really looking forward to the time when the twins are about 3 and Isaac 4. That is when I believe we can relax just that little bit.

I know the Mrs will literally go crazy if she stays at home 24 x 7 so whenever she wants to go out I will always support her.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Sock Peng,

How true your phrase is. I will try and remember to chant it when I am not too busy thinking of murdering the twins in the middle of the night.


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi ipoop,

I really have to take my hat off and give you a standing ovation for being a SAHM and taking care of your twins all by yourself!!!

How do you cope? Surely there are times when they both cry at the same time. We are able to carry one in each arm since they are still rather light but when they are older I really wonder how we'll cope!

As for Ani, she is mainly taking care of Isaac although she does provide some cover whenever Isaac is asleep.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Linda,

Actually nothing to salute because we did not know they will be twins so we did not dive in knowing we will be handling 3 babies.

After having been through Isaac's early stages first hand, no more night feeds is really the next stage that we are so looking forward to. Isaac did it when he was 3 months old. I only hope that the twins can match if not better it.

Fingers and toes crossed ya?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Ed,

Potty trained at 7 months!?!?!?! How did you manage that?

So is he only doing his big business there or he is off the diapers completely?

Er...... I honestly don't think that we will be successful with potty training them so young.

You should perhaps start a class and I will surely sign up! Hahaha