Favourite

From the moment we brought the twins home we were asked time and again if we have a favourite amongst the 3 kids. Who do we prefer more? Frankly speaking I did question if I will ever have a favourite since it is only human to like something or someone more than others.

There were some concerns from Isaac’s Godma and Grandma that he may be neglected now that he has 2 younger siblings and I am still not sure if we managed to dismiss their unfounded concern after so many months.

My mum’s love and favouritism shown towards Isaac is still unmatched. Everyone can tell that Isaac is clearly her favourite grandchild. We have to monitor though in case things get out of hand. An example happened the other day when Isaac snatched Hayley’s toy causing her to cry and my mum immediately gave another toy to Hayley to try and pacify her. When I saw this I corrected her and returned the original toy to Hayley and told Isaac off. I explained to my mum that Hayley should not have to settle for another toy just because Isaac wanted the first one.

Don’t get me wrong though for Isaac is not the bully at home. He loves his siblings and is ever ready to kiss, hug and sayang them. It is just that when it comes to sharing toys he is not quite there yet. The twins do not fare any better as well and this is an area that we are monitoring and working on. Isaac is still a toddler after all so sometimes he doesn’t understand the full extend of the things that he should not do.

I made him a promise when we know he will be a ‘big’ brother at a young age that he will not miss out on anything from being a toddler. I have always reframed from imposing the responsibilities of an elder brother on him. He is still a big baby to me and he knows that. When I ask him where is daddy’s big baby, he will point to his own head and say “nai”. I want him to grow up at his own pace without having to worry about being a big brother to the twins. Perhaps in another couple of years then he will take on the role gradually.

When the twins were younger they were not showing much of their personalities and characters so there wasn’t much to compare between the 3 children. Some of you readers may not agree to us comparing but I like to think that it is a very natural thing to do. We compare things like the stages of motor skills development to how fast their teeth grow, to their speech development and of course their character and temper. We even compare how much milk they take and at what pace too. The way they sleep and at what time they sleep and how long their nap last.

Now that the twins are a little older the comparison is getting more interesting because their personalities are beginning to show. Take Hayley for example. She has always been the quiet and demure one while Luke is always very demanding and Isaac is well ……… Isaac. Then we begin to wonder if there is any truth to the theory that having more than one hair whorl means a person is “naughtier”. You see, 妹妹 is the only one in the family with 2 hair whorls. But the theory may have some truth after all for these days 妹妹 is certainly no push over. When her brothers take her toys she will scream at them and will try and get them back. Very often her scream is way louder and we can see from her face just how angry they made her. I can already see this girl standing toe to toe against any boy bully in her life.

I have also heard stories that being the middle child in the family is not good. They are often neglected and they grow up aloof and weird in some cases. I personally do not have this experience because people around me are either the eldest or youngest. I don’t believe I have too many friends who are the middle child. So any input from you guys will be helpful.

Note: By Input I do not mean scare so please do not scare us for in case you forgot we have a middle child in Luke! Thank you!

With Luke nicknamed “Blur” didn’t really help the matter too. In his defense he is actually much better now. He smiles a lot more and has many expressions as well but just not in front of the camera. I have posted the below clip to support my case and to help him get rid of that nickname.

Now back to age old question of whether or not we have a favourite all I can say is that an experiment I conducted not too long ago probably summed it all up for us.

Back in September the Mrs and I went to Hong Kong for a short getaway without the kids and I remembered wondering out loud to the Mrs if we could find out who we miss more during the trip. I guess I thought if we know who we miss more then that will probably mean we favour that child more. Frankly I am a little surprised but very pleased with the outcome.