Friday, 9 November 2007


I learned long ago from you experienced mothers that we should sleep and rest as much as possible now because we will soon learn that they are a luxury as soon as Baby is born.

However no one remembered to inform us that sleep is almost impossible for the Mrs now that she is in her 3rd trimester. It is not so much the waking up in the middle of the night to pee rather she just can’t seem to find a comfortable enough position to fall asleep in.

This has gone on for almost 2 weeks now and during which the Mrs had been turning and tossing sometimes up to wee (no punt intended) hours in the morning with only the occasional dozing off before she feels uncomfortable again.

She has tried tilting to the left and to the right. She has tried sleeping flat and facing the ceiling and she has also tried sleeping while sitting up. Unfortunately the comfort in whichever positions are very short-lived.

The funny thing is I realized that this seems to be only an issue in the night. Take yesterday for example. We decided to not exert ourselves too much and come home in the afternoon to let the Mrs have some shut eyes. She managed to fall asleep without as much hassle.

The same will apply on weekends. She can sleep rather easily in the afternoon without all these complaining; tossing and turnings.

I suggested that we buy small pillows to “support” her tummy and back when she lies on her side but this has not proved too effective either. We have 4 regular pillows, a bolster and a small pillow and I’m happy to give them all to her saving only one for myself in an effort to assist with her sleeping comfortably but again to no avail.

It is really difficult watching her getting up all tired and restless and having to go to work for the next 10 hours. At this rate I believe she may have to consider taking a few weeks off work come December just before Baby’s due date.

I feel very helpless and can only offer to massage her back, shoulder and neck to try and soothe her muscles and aches.

I do not believe I can really appreciate what she is going through with the closet probably being how I will feel trying to go to sleep on a very heavy stomach. At least with the heavy stomach I can still down a glass of gassy drink and burp it all out and after an incident it will be a long while before I find myself in this situation again.

I remembered during one Mrs Wong’s class she mentioned that MTB may have problem sleeping after 32 weeks and this is normal so they should just try and rest whenever they can. Trying telling the Mrs that!?!?! How can she rest when she can’t find a comfortable position.

Suggestions anyone?


missmoon said...

i remember during my 3rd tri, i had difficulty sleeping as well. finding the right position etc, getting up to pee. toward my last 2 wks, i was literally half-inclined for half the nite, and the other half, tossing and turning. afternoon naps come easily because sleep was elusive the nite before, no? heh.

anyway, just try to get whatever sleep that comes, naps in between on weekends until the arrival of the little one. i find that even if we can doze off after a hot beverage or something, the uncomfy feeling will still wake you no matter how tired you are. my sister told me she slept half-inclined with her feet propped up and she's managed to sleep through. no harm trying it?

Anonymous said...

For me, hugging a cushion and putting a small bolster between the legs and sleep sideway helps. And going to the toilet b4 going to bed even if u dont feel like peeing at all helps too ... some days i need not wake up to pee at all.

Anonymous said...

I try to rest as much as I can during the weekends and PH by taking afternoon naps. Sometimes I take half a day or full day leave from work depending on my energy level to rest and sleep. Like Bebe, I also put a pillow between my legs while sleeping on my side. It really works for me. Anyway, I heard that there is some kind of maternity pillow for preggies. It is shaped like a U. You may try that. Think it is only available in US. You can order it thru

Re peeing at nite, I tried not to drink too much water at least 1 hour before I go to bed. I will also go and empty my bladder before sleeping. It helps, I only need to wake up once and sometimes I can even sleep thru the nite.

If all this does nt work, you can try what my MIL did last time, she slept in a sitting position in a sofa/armchair hugging a small pillow. She said it worked for her. :)

Anonymous said...

These are a few things that helped me sleep better; they didn't work all the time:

- I elevated the head of the mattress by placing another smaller mattress beneath; it was just a slight incline, but it helped me breathe better. Some nights I dozed off while sitting up.

- Listening to the Hypnobirthing CD!

- Having the aircon on, as well as a fan that was blowing directly at me.

- Chamomile tea

Lionel n Rachel said...

hmmm...most suggestions suggested. ok. here's mine. if u hv a TV in the room, hv the TV switch on with ur mrs favourite movie or MTV playing, prop her up with many supporting pillowson the bed, (45degrees), hv her hug a small pillow, lift both her feet up & let rest them on the bolster. Once she is comfy, get her to watch her show. dun talk or disturb her...

Wonders do happen & u will see ur mrs falling asleep soon. however, dun try to wake her up or help shift her position.dun even switch off the movie/mtv. ur mrs will jump up. let her be the way she is. she will sleep like a baby. it works for me & hopefully it works for ur mrs as well. cheers!

Nicole said...

Cranberry juice. It helps to reduce the need to go to pee at night. I didn't drink all that much to work for me but it does work for my sister. I also did a research online and reaslied its' good. It's per recommneded by my gynae.

As for sleeping positions, I can't comment much. Cause the first time when I carried Claire, I slept like a pig throughout(maybe cause my tummy not that big). This time round, except that I'm starting to feel really hot even with a/c and fan on, I'm still ok. Hopefully it remains that way. I hug a bolster to sleep. For protection for my tummy against Claire, also, it's my lifetime habit. It does help me in that sense.

Unknown said...


i'm in my 3rd trimester as well. it's so difficult to sleep at nite. sleeping inclined helps to make sleep come about alot easier. do cushion the tummy with a small cushion & another small cushion behind the back. this helps. :)

taking mini naps will help replenish the low energy levels. if all else fails, i always look to coffee to keep me awake at work. :P

Anonymous said...

but it's best to cut down caffine during pregnancy...but everything in moderation should be all gynae will say

noshidoshi said...

im in my 32nd week, and every night before going to sleep, i go to the toilet first to empty bladder. tell ur wife to lean fwd while peeing - this completely empties the bladder.

i sleep with my head on 2 pillows, and i hug another pillow, and i prop my legs on top of my husband's legs. i sleep very well this way, heheh. sometimes when i cant find a good position to sleep, my husband will caress my head or back slowly, and this makes me drift off to sleeeeeeep. so u might want to try it :)

A Husband's Voice said...

Sawadeekup Ladies,

I am in Bangkok, Thailand now typing away hence the late response.


A Husband's Voice said...

Hi missmoon,

Thanks for your advice. I told the Mrs to heed your advice and sleep whenever possible.

In the past we were worried that should she sleep in the evening she will wake up later at night and won't be able to go back to sleep.

These days I tell her to just sleep and if she wakes up at 3am then so be it cause at least she get a few hours sleep.

Tried half-inclined with feet propped up but it'll only last for a while.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi bebe,

The Mrs can't sleep sideway for long because the weight of Baby will be too much to bear.

Luckily the Mrs doesn't always wake up in the middle of the night to pee.

She has got a lot of pillows now. In fact we were at Aussino last Sat and we bought her a body pillow.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi reishi,

I have already told the Mrs to try and take leave whenever her boss is out of town so she can rest.

Unfortunately for us all, one of her colleague has resigned with her last day this week and a suitable replacement has not been found. Sigh.....

Osim massage chair may be my last resort. Ha ha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi evelyn,

The HypnoBirthing CD is the first thing we turn to unfortunately to no avail.

I think the problem here is not that she can't fall asleep. It's just that she will feel Baby's weight on one side of her tummy hence causing discomfort which will result in her waking up.

She's talking to Baby every night now hopefully he / she will cooperate.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi yvonne,

Thanks for suggesting but I noticed that the Mrs sleeps better with the TV off.

We follow the HK TVB serial rather closely and I have to switch it off after a certain time otherwise she will be hooked on it.

Having said that, I hear you too. Whenever she falls asleep in the afternoon, I have learned to leave everything as it is including the lights and TV etc. I will even bring all the phones out to the living room with me and naturally Dino too.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nicole,

This cranberry juice seems the miracle drink for ladies. I have heard of people saying that it is also good for the ladies to consume during the time of the month.

The Mrs kind of like drinking it so will take your advice and buy more for her.

Thankfully the Mrs has not complained that she is warm yet. Maybe the temperature set at 20 degrees helps. Hee Hee

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi jj,

The Mrs has no problem staying awake during work. In fact I need her to slow down at work. She thrives on adrenaline whenever she is at work and will only find herself burnt out after she knocks off.

Can't wake for December to come cause that's when she will be able to taking some days off to rest.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi bebe,

Not sure if you read one of my earlier post or comment (lost track liao) that my BIL and SIL went to this Gynae and she said in Mandarin 怀孕不是病 (pregnancy is not an illness) that so she told my SIL that she can eat anything she wants.

And you are right in that we should eat everything in moderation.

Anyway she seldom drinks caffeine so I guess we're alright.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi shida,

Yeah the Mrs does go to the toilet every night before turning in and she also knows about the little trick of bending forward.

Thanks a lot for sharing that you have your legs propped up on your husband's. Ha Ha

I may have to go and learn from your husband cause I do massage the Mrs's back and neck but never managed to get her to fall asleep.

Anonymous said...

Try prenatal massage at your last resort. Heard from many people, it is very good. For me, I often visit my therapist for foot massage (not the foot reflexology kind). It was so relaxing that I always "KO" thruout the 1 hour session. :D

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi reishi,

I know for a fact that by massaging her myself it will not work. I take the blame for that.

Good suggestion on the foot massage though. I'll check if she would like to try it.

Lionel n Rachel said...

i dunno for sure but hw abt massaging with lavender oil b4 bedtime. Lavender has a sweet smelling effect dat helps people to fall asleep easily. or take a really hot bath, if possible. a gd bath always help one to relax & might sleep better.

Anonymous said...

Not many spa salons will take preggies even though it's only foot massage cos they do not want to be responsible if anything happens. I had encountered a couple of incidents where they reject my appt when I told them I am pregnant (even though I told them I am over my 1st trimester).

I suggest go to those with therapists who are trained in prenatal. You may try Rustic Nirvana. Recommended by my colleague. She tried their prenatal massage and she said it is not bad.

Regarding essential oils, you may want to find out more info before using them. Lavender oil I think is fine but maybe avoid those that are too concentrated. I heard from my therapist rosemary oil is not advisable for usage on preggies.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi yvonne,

Lavender oil sounds a little kinky. HAHAHA

No, seriously. The Mrs does not like oily stuffs on her hand let alone her body. So this is one option that we will not be trying. Thanks though.

Actually I am starting to suspect that it is me that is causing her to have difficulty sleeping.

The few days that I was away in Bangkok, she managed to sleep with only little difficulty.

Hmmmm...... maybe she needs the whole bed to herself.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi reishi,

Thanks for your concern.

As mentioned in my reply to Yvonne that any form of oil is out of the question so don't have to worry about which one is safe for her.

As for Spa, I also learned that most will not take in Preggies. I think the most practical thing to do is for the Mrs to try and adapt.

I do not believe there is a way of escaping and we can't possibly go for a Spa or massage everyday so I think she has to try and find herself a position or method to cope.

Nicole said...

I used to go for massage downstairs in those typical massage parlour opened by a uncle. Then he said it's ok to massage except to make sure to avoid certain accupunture points so I went quite often. Then one fine day, my mum just told me not to go anymore as she kinda think that that uncle cannot make it. My hubby also banned me from going. So even though I'm aching everywhere, I'll just have to ren. If not, ask Ms Claire to give me some tiny massages by her. Haha..

That's the thing when you're pregnant, cannot do this, cannot do that. :)

Anonymous said...

hi, a husband's voice, i read your suspicion about yourself being the cause of your mrs' difficulty to fall asleep at night with some amusement.

for my case, my husband is the cause of my inability to sleep sometimes. he snores (quite loudly), and he edges towards the centre of the bed at times. i actually fall asleep fastest when i have the bed to myself (read: smack right in the middle surrounded by pillows and bolsters), though that doesn't stop me from waking up a few times' at night too. (and i'm only heading towards my 29th week. haha)

does the mrs like reading in bed like i do? usually i concuss pretty fast when i'm reading in bed. the only problem with reading in bed is that it worsens the numbness in the hands most of the time. =)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nicole,

The Mrs is also aching all over and she is dying to have some kind of massage.

She used to "crack" her bones by twisting and turning but it has been months since she last did that. Ever since she got pregnant she has stopped herself from stretching or doing these cracks.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi no man's land,

I have to admit I do snore at times (maybe all the time, I wouldn't know. Hee Hee) so maybe that is why the Mrs insists that I sleep only after her. Ha Ha

However unlike your husband, I normally sleep only on my side of the bed and usually stick to it.

The Mrs reads in bed quite a bit and these days she is no SMH at night reading. At times she will fall asleep with the notebook still on and magazines on the bed. It is then a challenge for me to remove everything without waking her.

Nicole said...

I used to like to sleep on my side too but since getting pregnant, I kinda prefer sleeping on my back but that's not encouraged. Reason being is that some pregnant ladies will feel giddy as lack of blood supply to pump or things like that. I'll hence alternate between sleeping from left to right to the back and this and that.And that causes the back/waist to ache. Does your Mrs ache around that area as well? Not easy. Then have to wake up to go and pee.

My SIL went to this lady who specialised in foot reflex for pregnant ladies and she told me that it doesn't hurt at all. When my nephews(twins) was first born, they're very strong. They can lift up their head before they turn 2 months and can sit up at 3 months. Can walk at 1 year old. My SIL proudly call them ' the reflex baby'. She feels that it's due to the foot reflex massage she went. As I didn't go for it, I can't comment.But again, others said it's dangerous to go for foot massage blah blah blah. Different people say different thing. For me, during my 2nd trimster, I went for shoulder/head/back and foot massage by that uncle I've mentioned above. But now, I'm banned from going. Anyway, I think I can't take the pain now.

Not forgetting that after giving birth, you (or rather your Mrs), stil have to take the pain from Malay Jamu massage(provided she go for it)...

So, really, ask your Mrs to enjoy this period now. (ok, I don't sound very comforting but seriously). haha...

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nicole,

The Mrs is alternating on all 3 positions when she sleeps. Sides and back. Sometimes I am up late and I can see the agony she goes through from changing position in her sleep. One hand will have to support her stomach each time she turns. Talk about simple things that we take for granted.

Her discomfort is from her neck down to her shoulders to her back. I try and massage her whenever she requires but often it will not help.

Yeah, she will be going for the Malay Jamu massage. Supposedly it works quite well right?

I think it is hard to enjoy this period but I did tell her that think of it as a trade off for Baby's growth. We rather have baby grow and cause more discomfort than to have no discomfort and no growth from Baby.

Nicole said...

This period is consider just uncomfortable. The real challenge will come when the baby pops out. I remembered that when Claire was born, I was thinking to myself, I hope that she can go back! HAHA~

Jamu is suppose to help women who have delivered to dispel off water retention, reduce swelling, push back your uterus and blah blah blah, among other things. It's good but it's damn painful. At least for me and I always thought I have high threshold for pain. Till giving birth totally changed my thinking. Maybe my threshold for pain only limit to tattoo and lasers and not giving birth. Haha..

Jamu by default, should help you to tone up your tummy, by binding and also to help you slim down. It did help me. I remmebered that my tummy was kinda flabby though small and after 5 days of massage, my tummy was toned back into original state/shape. Again, no pain no gain. ;)

2 more months to go, JIA YOU!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

Hoping that Claire will go back is funny!!! Scary but funny no less.

I guess from a Husband's view is different. Right now I feel really helpless watching the Mrs "suffers" but with Baby out at least I can help out with something.

My BIL swears by his experience from hiring a Jamu masseuses so I guess it is a no brainer. Although I did not notice if it was really that useful on his wife.

Yeah, we're like 33 weeks now so just about 6 weeks to go. Dr N actually told the Mrs to be prepared that it may happen earlier between 29th to 31st Dec.

How time really flies!

Nicole said...

It wasn't funny back then when I had that thought though. I was so so tired taking care of claire and she's such an easy baby to take care of! Imagine those difficult baby!

Ya, it's good to go for the jamu,just have to think of the benefits it brings and endure with the pain.

Yup, time really flies. Soon, you'll be one really busy new daddy!