Originally I had wanted to blog on our recent experience on shopping for a maid. It was meant to be a little light hearted and I was going to touch on how shallow I felt for rejecting the biodatas simply by looking at their photos.
I had wanted to elaborate on how awkward and terrible we felt having to turn away the maids (there in person) that these agents brought to us for our considerations. We really felt so low and shallow and judgmental and we were not proud of it but alas it had to be done.
I was also going to touch on the various agency fees which I felt was ridiculous to have a variation of between S$77 to S$688.
However our situation had been upgraded to desperate and I mean really DESPERATE!! Who would have thought that engaging a maid would be this difficult?!?! I mean there must be more than 1001 agencies out there!
We had actually approached an agency for help about 6 weeks ago and we thought that this agency will be able to come through for us just like she did with our friend, P; P’s friends and relatives as well as my BIL. We were taking things rather easy cause if she managed to find a suitable maid for so many of them then finding a suitable one for us should not be an issue surely.
But how wrong were we!!
Initially our instructions were to look for one that either speaks Cantonese or Mandarin but since we have no luck there I have amended it to English speaking which is what I preferred anyway. Even then they come in various standard, Little; Fair and Good. Naturally I opted for Good since the Mrs and I do not speak Malay so we really need to be able to converse with her in English.
Besides, I have the intention to send her to TMC for baby care training conducted by Parentcraft. I do not believe it is a lot of money but I know I will feel better knowing that she has been properly trained.
The problem with maids who speak good English is they are usually very experienced maids who had worked in Singapore for a few years before and they all want day off on Sundays. I have not even touched on their pay yet. We have been advised that the pay for Indonesian maids have gone up twice this year. My BIL got a Cantonese speaking maid around the same time last year and her salary is only S$280 per month.
Today, a fresh maid that speaks little English commands a salary of S$330 and S$350 for any maid that worked in Singapore before.
Below was the list of the criteria that we wanted our maid to fulfill initially.
- Decent looking;
- Preferably above 1.5m and not too heavy;
- English, Cantonese or Mandarin speaking;
- Has taken care of infant before even if it means taking care of their own children;
- Must not be afraid of dog;
- Able to start as soon as possible (before end of December);
- No off days;
- Experience in working oversea before. It does not have to be Singapore. The reason for this is we do not want a homesick maid shortly after she starts work
What do you think? Are we asking for too much? I thought these are really the basic that first time maid employers like us would look for.
Well, like I said we are desperate so we understand that we have to make some adjustments on our requirements so we are prepared to overlook certain things such as height & weight and experience in working overseas.
We are even prepared to accept ‘Transfer’ maids but still not a single maid is able to meet all our already lowered expectations.
The remaining criteria are really non-negotiable. We have to like the way she looks since we will all be living under one roof for the next 2 years. She has to have infant care experience because her primary duty is to take care of Baby. She must not be afraid of Ah No. She has to be able to start as soon as possible since the Mrs is due in about a month’s time.
I believe our biggest stumbling block right now is language because it is really not difficult to find a married maid who has infant care experience and not afraid of dogs. Even fresh maids meet these requirements actually. Now it is only an issue of balance.
Do we get a fresh maid who really speaks very little English and hope she will improve after staying with us for a short period or engage a transfer maid that speaks good English but demands to be off every Sunday. Frankly I am actually leaning more towards hiring an experience maid that had worked here for 6 to 7 years, a Christian (eats pork) and speaks good English. My logic is since they had worked here for so many years then chances of them getting themselves into trouble must be relatively low right? By giving her an off day on Sunday will allow her to recharge herself and will at the same time allow us some family time of our own. I mean there must be many employers out there, namely the expats that grant their maids off days and I am certain many of them had no problem with their maids.
I believe the Mrs like many out there has an issue with off days and it is not because they are slave drivers but because they have heard so many horror stories!
From the angle of monetary risk, should she really land herself in trouble and had to be repatriated our liability is really only the excess from the insurance that we intend to buy which comes up to only S$250. This is a far cry from those days that employers had to forfeit the full S$5000 bond.
I would like to think of us as being good employers who only demand honesty and integrity from our maid but having said that, inviting a total stranger into our house is really awkward and not the easiest thing to do. A lot has to be carefully planned out. This is the single biggest step that we had to take besides deciding to have a baby. Hopefully everything will turn out alright for all of us.
I had wanted to elaborate on how awkward and terrible we felt having to turn away the maids (there in person) that these agents brought to us for our considerations. We really felt so low and shallow and judgmental and we were not proud of it but alas it had to be done.
I was also going to touch on the various agency fees which I felt was ridiculous to have a variation of between S$77 to S$688.
However our situation had been upgraded to desperate and I mean really DESPERATE!! Who would have thought that engaging a maid would be this difficult?!?! I mean there must be more than 1001 agencies out there!
We had actually approached an agency for help about 6 weeks ago and we thought that this agency will be able to come through for us just like she did with our friend, P; P’s friends and relatives as well as my BIL. We were taking things rather easy cause if she managed to find a suitable maid for so many of them then finding a suitable one for us should not be an issue surely.
But how wrong were we!!
Initially our instructions were to look for one that either speaks Cantonese or Mandarin but since we have no luck there I have amended it to English speaking which is what I preferred anyway. Even then they come in various standard, Little; Fair and Good. Naturally I opted for Good since the Mrs and I do not speak Malay so we really need to be able to converse with her in English.
Besides, I have the intention to send her to TMC for baby care training conducted by Parentcraft. I do not believe it is a lot of money but I know I will feel better knowing that she has been properly trained.
The problem with maids who speak good English is they are usually very experienced maids who had worked in Singapore for a few years before and they all want day off on Sundays. I have not even touched on their pay yet. We have been advised that the pay for Indonesian maids have gone up twice this year. My BIL got a Cantonese speaking maid around the same time last year and her salary is only S$280 per month.
Today, a fresh maid that speaks little English commands a salary of S$330 and S$350 for any maid that worked in Singapore before.
Below was the list of the criteria that we wanted our maid to fulfill initially.
- Decent looking;
- Preferably above 1.5m and not too heavy;
- English, Cantonese or Mandarin speaking;
- Has taken care of infant before even if it means taking care of their own children;
- Must not be afraid of dog;
- Able to start as soon as possible (before end of December);
- No off days;
- Experience in working oversea before. It does not have to be Singapore. The reason for this is we do not want a homesick maid shortly after she starts work
What do you think? Are we asking for too much? I thought these are really the basic that first time maid employers like us would look for.
Well, like I said we are desperate so we understand that we have to make some adjustments on our requirements so we are prepared to overlook certain things such as height & weight and experience in working overseas.
We are even prepared to accept ‘Transfer’ maids but still not a single maid is able to meet all our already lowered expectations.
The remaining criteria are really non-negotiable. We have to like the way she looks since we will all be living under one roof for the next 2 years. She has to have infant care experience because her primary duty is to take care of Baby. She must not be afraid of Ah No. She has to be able to start as soon as possible since the Mrs is due in about a month’s time.
I believe our biggest stumbling block right now is language because it is really not difficult to find a married maid who has infant care experience and not afraid of dogs. Even fresh maids meet these requirements actually. Now it is only an issue of balance.
Do we get a fresh maid who really speaks very little English and hope she will improve after staying with us for a short period or engage a transfer maid that speaks good English but demands to be off every Sunday. Frankly I am actually leaning more towards hiring an experience maid that had worked here for 6 to 7 years, a Christian (eats pork) and speaks good English. My logic is since they had worked here for so many years then chances of them getting themselves into trouble must be relatively low right? By giving her an off day on Sunday will allow her to recharge herself and will at the same time allow us some family time of our own. I mean there must be many employers out there, namely the expats that grant their maids off days and I am certain many of them had no problem with their maids.
I believe the Mrs like many out there has an issue with off days and it is not because they are slave drivers but because they have heard so many horror stories!
From the angle of monetary risk, should she really land herself in trouble and had to be repatriated our liability is really only the excess from the insurance that we intend to buy which comes up to only S$250. This is a far cry from those days that employers had to forfeit the full S$5000 bond.
I would like to think of us as being good employers who only demand honesty and integrity from our maid but having said that, inviting a total stranger into our house is really awkward and not the easiest thing to do. A lot has to be carefully planned out. This is the single biggest step that we had to take besides deciding to have a baby. Hopefully everything will turn out alright for all of us.
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22 comments:
Just to share some thoughts.
The instinctive 'feel' factor matters most to me. Both of you gotta feel good and comfortable about the person.
Personally, I wouldn't choose someone who has years of experience working overseas. I feel that with more experience, they'll come with more expectations and demands as well. Most of my family's helpers in the past were all new to working overseas, and being young and not-'hampered'-by-past-experiences were to their and our advantage, since they learned things fast and could adapt to our style of living quickly.
Having only a minimal understanding of the English language was not a problem we faced in our helpers as well. In fact, you'll be surprised at how fast they learn. If either of your parents or grandparents can understand or speak some Malay, that should be sufficient enough to tide you over. Afterall, we won't really be holding complex or in-depth conversations/discussions with them. Our aim is for them to follow and execute simple, straight forward instructions. Simple English should therefore suffice if you keep your instructions to the point, and not load them with a whole list of things to do at a go...especially if they're new.
And did I mention, we usually go for Indonesian helpers only? Always felt that the girls from Philippines/India are more sophisticated and demanding.
My last helper was a twice-rejected Indonesian transfer case who happened to be returned to the agency the day we popped in. Reason: her English cannot make it. We had a choice between her and another girl who was more friendly + talkative, had a better grasp of English and was always smiling. We acted based on instincts and took the twice-reject who spoke minimal English instead. The 'feel' she gave us was better. She was working overseas for the first time - a simple village girl, shy, quiet and hesitant. But she gives off 'honest', likeable vibes if you know what I mean. Trust your gut feel about a person, even if she doesn't meet most of your requirements, coz' they can learn very quickly if they are willing to. My last twice-reject helper stayed with us for nearly 4 years, and we never regretted our choice. She could even understand a smattering mix of Mandarin and Hokkien when she left. =)
Good luck in your hunt!
And oh yes, my name is Roanne. *haha*
On top of my cheong-hey comments, I just want to add on a bit more.
Having some experience taking care of infants/young children is good, but is it absolutely a must? It really depends on your anticipated role for the helper - whether you intend one day to fully entrust your baby to your helper only (i.e. only baby and helper at home)...or would your helper be assisting someone else (e.g. your mrs/parents/parents-in-law) who are responsible for baby when you and mrs are away at work for example. If it's the latter, maybe experience in infant/young children care is not a must afterall?
And the thing about experienced helpers less likely to get into trouble? Maybe I'm prejudiced, but I've always felt that it's the experienced ones who know their way around/how the system works + its loopholes etc. that have the greater propensity to get into trouble. *hahaha* It's the innocent, a bit sua-ku, the kwai kwai ones that will keep out of trouble...but I'm speaking in general terms lah.
Hi, I don't have a maid and never intend to hire one if I can help it because I treasure my privacy too much.
Am just curious to hear from those with maids -- have any employers successfully managed to balance the maid's social needs with their safety and work-related concerns?
I mean, I can understand that parents would not want their maids sneaking men in the house, etc while they're away at work, and as such, they forbid relationships. Or they don't want maids to be distracted during the day, so they ban mobile phones. And they don't want maids gossiping and comparing benefits, so they don't let their maids out of the house.
But from the maid's perspective, it starts to look like a sad life, working for a pittance (although the exchange rates are in their favour) and having little or no support networks.
As for my two cents' worth, keep your distance if you're a guy. My relatives hired two maids in the last year -- one has since accused an uncle of verbal sexual harassment, and the other is claiming she is sleeping with her employer.
hi
Will you be putting your maid and bb at your in-law/parents' house while you and The Mrs are at work? Im considering hiring a maid too but i dont feel safe putting her and baby alone at home after my maternity leave and my in law stays quite far away so it's not practical to ferry maid and bb to their place daily.... so im really considering leaving baby to the maid's care after i return to work but perhaps get my mil to stay with us for a few month just to monitor her. . . .
Hi Roanne, (finally! a name!! Ha Ha)
You really had a very cheong hey comment. I guess it must be a topic that is close to heart huh?!
I appreciate your advise and agree that in most cases going with instinct is very important.
At the end of the day the Mrs and I are going for ex-Singapore maid so that the culture shock will not be too much for her to bear and it will be easier for us too.
We tried speaking to some fresh maids and their command of english is really rather poor and we are not comfortable so by selecting an ex-Singapore maid their english is better and it makes it much easier for us to make them understand us.
Like you, the Mrs prefers Indonesian as she feels that the Filipinos are a little too smart and chances are they will have many friends here already.
I can only hope and pray that our maid will be able to last 2 or even 4 years with us.
The reason we want a maid that has infant care is because her primary duty as our maid is really for Baby. Once the Mrs goes back to work she will be the main caregiver with my Mum and Dad supervising. They will not be hands on since they have their own things to do and their last experience was with my sister over 30 years ago.
Most people are not in favour of the really experience ones including the agencies that we have spoken to. So we are going for those that have completed only 1 term in Singapore.
Wish us luck indeed!
Hi evelyn,
Actually like you, the Mrs and I feel really sorry for the maids here in Singapore but after speaking to the better agencies they told us that these maids are really here to work and earn some good money.
By completing the contract they can earn quite a sum of money and should they extend a further 2 years then they will be really much better off when they go home so I guess it is a matter of no pain no gain.
This maid agency that we are really comfortable with further explain that they will educate their maids to reinforce that their objective is to come out here and make some decent money so they should concentrate on that and forget about the boyfriends and other distracting issues.
So their relationship with their employers is very important. They urge us to bring the maid out on some of the weekends to help them recharge.
We are a little apprehensive about losing our privacy too but in this case we really have little choice. However I told the Mrs that this is really for the first 2 years because I would like for her to take care of Baby full time when Baby turns 2 because when they are ready to really learn then I prefer for him/her to learn from the Mrs instead of the maid.
actually, the truth is i'm a very cheong-hey person by nature. *hahaha* i nag everybody around me till they turn blue. =P
all the best in your new maid! =)
Hi bebe,
Actually no, we will not be leaving Baby with maid alone. We leave only 5 mins drive away from my parents so we will bring Baby and maid there every morning and fetch them home every evening.
The Mrs is not even comfortable letting the maid have the Sunday off let alone leaving her alone at home.
I do not mean to frighten you but some of the things you have to think of is who will the maid let into your home and you cannot lock them in in case of fire.
Leaving the maid to do her housework unsupervised can be dangerous too. She could be careless like forgetting to switch off the iron or kettle. Or she could even be a danger to herself.
However having said that, I recently learned of a friend's friend that had to leave his new maid at home alone with their baby and it has been months and they have no problem.
The Mrs's suggestion is to have surprise visit from either you or your husband randomly to let her know that you could come home any time so she has better not have any funny ideas.
It will be a very tough decision and I wish you luck with finding yourself a really reliable and good maid.
Hi A Husband voice,
My personal experienced. I took a new maid with minumum english speaking.
My Agent understand my needs during that time and shortlist a few for us to chose. By her recommendation, we took our 1st and only maid. She was with us for 3 years, returned home this year and got married. Her English improved during the years with us.
Somehow, i heard from colleagues that the new generation of maids are more demanding and fussy and most of the time, it could be the maid choosing her employers..sigh.
Good Luck.
regards,
astee
I've no maid, so my comments here may be quite idealistic, but am a bit disturbed at the no-off-day request. I believe every human being wants some time for him/herself. instead of a full day off, maybe she can get 2 half days off during the week? or 1 day off every fortnight? It'll help if you set the house rules with her at the beginning, so she knows that u're not going to tolerate certain behaviour. But do not be too harsh n expect her to do things right instantly. In a new environment pple tend to be overwhelmed by their surroundings. can give some time before deciding whether she can "make it or not".
Face it, if she's really brilliant/smart she prob won't have to come and be a maid right? And she prob would have gone to other countries that pays much higher. S'pore happens to be one of the countries that pay the lowest. So pay peanuts get monkey lor..
I just feel that ur attitude towards your maid (treating her like a fellow human being, with respect, reasonableness as well as firm hand) will minimise chances of your maid doing hanky panky business outside. (Even if she has no off days, she will still meet other maids while running errands, and can get introduced to guys too.)
My friend treats her maid well, e.g. speak to her nicely, with "pls" and "thank u", so her kids also learnt that the maid is a helper, not a slave. They treat her like an auntie. So if you want to avoid the type of kids we see outside who shout and order their maids around, better walk the talk early.
Hi Roanne,
Talk about cheong hey, I am probably the most cheong hey one here. Just look at my blog! Always full of words with hardly any pictures.
We have confirmed our maid today. Hopefully she will turn out fine. Will keep you all posted. Stay tune.
Hi evelyn,
Actually I think the Mrs, my parents and I are the soft hearted type but I would like to think that the maid will not be able to take us for a ride too.
I normally give the person the benefit of the doubt first and it is really up to her to maintain or ruin it.
If I am a teacher I'll probably be the type to give the students A+ to start with and leave to them to keep it or let it slip.
As for your "give-aways", thanks but we have already completed our purchases. I think we got everything covered liao.
Hi astee,
Well, I am pleased to say that we have selected a maid already so we have one more thing completed and off our mind.
Hopefuylly she will turn out well.
While I agree that maids these days have more say in who they want or not want to work for but I must say I do not find them fussy.
It is actually those that had worked in Singapore before that are requesting for much higher pay now, around $380 and demanding off days.
Hi trina,
Like you I am for the off day idea but on the other hand I am also a little reluctant when I think about the money and trouble that we can get ourselves into.
Should the maid run away or got herself pregnant then the bond of $5000 will be forfeited.
All I am prepared to do now is to bring the maid out with us whenever we go out during the weekends. This will hopefully show her the nicer places in Singapore.
I know I will treat the maid with respect and eventually like a member of the family too. As it is I will bring my own bowl and cutleries to the basin for my in-laws' maids for them to wash and I will train Baby to do the same in future. I do not want Baby to just get up and leave the table expecting the maid to pick up after him/her without a word of thanks.
I will NOT allow Baby to scold or hit the maid too.
Hi
Just want to share my experience… a bit the long thou… haahaa
We engaged a maid also but only when my baby was out. As my mom is the main care giver for my bb, we engaged a maid solely to help my mom to handle the household chores. And by that we mean the normal mopping of floor, cleaning of the house, washing clothes etc. She doesn’t need to cook and I do not ask her to wash my bb’s bottles… only clothes.
She doesn’t have any day off but on Sundays we do not expect her to do any chores… anyway on Sundays she will follow us go shopping, visiting family/ friends etc. Sundays is like an official off day to her too…
Of course I have had my fair share of maid woes as well… frankly speaking this is my 4th maid!!! (within a period of almost 3 years)
1st maid was good ~ she stayed with us for 1.5 yrs but had to go home because her mom was critical ill. I had to let her go because I do not want to bear the huge responsibility of not letting her see her mom for the last time.
2nd maid ~ this is a super attitude maid. She seems normal and pleasant but when we stayed with her she is really attitude. When we tell her how things should be done she will not be happy. She will not even look at you when you talk and walk away!! Once on Christmas day we all went to my aunt’s place for a party. And she had forgotten to do something so my grandma just told her off. Guess what… when she went home she actually packed her bag and told my mom she wants to go home. As I was in a overseas business trip and due to return 2 days after Christmas, my mom told her to wait for me to return. So for the whole of the 2 days waiting for me to return she just sat in her room doing NOTHING! In the end my dad had to do the chores. Of course when I came back, without second tots I sent her back to the agent. (she was with us for 3 months. And the last I checked she had changed 2 different employers already!)
3rd maid ~ basically nothing really wrong with her but erm she has this really bad b.o. problem that is really too overwhelming for me to take it.
Current maid ~ she has been with us for ½ yr now… and she is by far one of the better ones. At least she will tell you she does not understand instead of pretending to understand. And after each instruction you give her, she will repeat to you to make sure she got it correct even without us asking her.
Having a maid is really like buying electrical appliance… if you are lucky… they will last long… else… no matter how if they are destined to “break down” they will…
Hope the maid you chose turned out well…
Hi Happyhour,
Funny how this maid issue bring out longer comments from you ladies.
This is single blog that generated the longest comments so far. lol
I agree with you in that getting a maid is really the luck of draw both for the maid herself and us an employers. The maid would like to have decent employers who will not exploit or worse abuse them.
Employers on the other hand want a maid that is diligent and honest.
Like you I would have sent the maid back to the agent faster than she can say ma'm. If she doesn't want to work for you anymore there is really no point in keeping her.
BO problem actually never cross my mind!!! What to do if my new maid comes with it?!? Fingers crossed!
The Mrs is also a little worried as from the picture she is quite pretty. She is worried that the foreign male workers in our area will take notice of her. But I do not think there will be many instances that she will go out and buy things on her own.
The Mrs was wondering if it is just her or maybe you fellow employers out there are like her as well. Too pretty worried, not pleasant looking also cannot. Too short also not acceptable hence our maid is 1.65m tall. Too fat, thin or old also cannot.
Like I said, I have never felt so shallow in my life till now.
Anyway I really hope things work out for both the maid and us and she can stay for the entire 2 years with no issue.
Guess, we will all know eventually won't we?
I have been living in Singapore for seven years, though i feel that i might be discredited for not being a native singaporean i do find some of the comments posted here quite shocking. a maid is a luxury, as i'm sure you realise, and not just someone to do your bidding whatever you demand. being a maid is not just a job but also a life, i ask you to consider what your boss would do if you had any of the issues that have been sommented on here (such as bad B.O.), i imagine you would be horrified if your boss told their friends you smelt bad without ever having mentioned it to you first.
As it is also their life and not just a job, i would think they deserve more respect and yet many of the attitueds here have suggested that they recieve less!! i am unsure why being good looking is a key point for employment, i'm sure you would again not be pleased if you were rejected from a job as you were not nice to look at.
as for banning them from having a mere day off once a week and from having friends and phones, that is insanity. it is almost a human right to have friends and it is a true abuse of these rights to demand that they are not allowed to leave their work ever, are living miles from their family and are not permitted to talk to friends, this is simply inhumain treatement.
i understand that it is a concern as you may eventually have to pay if you find that your maid has run off, but it is incredibly obvious that they are only going to run if they are unhappy (as they have no friends, links to family or friends). i find it a little hypocritical to state christianity as something you are looking for if you can't consider all people generally good.
you may feel that my opinion is not relevent as i am from another country and perhaps expect different things from a maid but i should mention that after having left a country for 2 years i returned and had an old maid ask to come and work for my family again, on another occassion we had a maid ask to move country with us (without provocation of any sort) and she enjoyed living in singapore and discovering a new country. this is all despite the fact that we have never paid more than the average for our maids.
i ask you simply to think about these views, although they are very different from your own.
Hi there Anonymous,
Coming from the UK I know you guys are very big on Human Rights hence your "violent" reactions to my post.
I did mention right from the beginning of my post that the Mrs and I felt really shallow while shopping for a maid so I am not pretending to be something that I am not.
From my list of requirement you will see that we were looking for Decent Looking.
Over in the UK, maids as I understand is a luxury but over here in Asia it is not so much. To most of us working parents, it is more of an essential. I can't seapk for the rest of the people out there but to me she is an employee and certainly not a slave.
Maybe in your country everyone is very direct with one another although I have my doubt since one can be sued very easily for mentioning that a certain employee has B.O and for a unrelated reason this same employee was dismissed in a few months time.
Over here in Asia we simply do not know how to tell this person upfront and direct that he has B.O. for example. My BIL's maid has this problem and all he did was to ask the maid to take more showers citing that the weather is humid and never once mentioning to her that she has B.O. Or would you prefer for him to tell her upfront and be all awkward about it from then on?
I would like to think that all companies and employers out there employ people strictly on merit but do you honestly believe in this? If this is the case then there will not be any self grooming courses. I honestly believe that to a certain extend we are all a ittle shallow. If there are 2 maids or candidates for an MNC, all things being equal, the one with the better presentation / look will get the job. This may be a shock to you but it is true.
You are lucky in that you have a good maid under your employment in the past just like the hundreds if not thousands here. However I also know that you do not have to treat a maid poorly for her to run off. I know of a maid who has worked for this household for 7 years and was treated like a family and just when the employers felt that she could be trusted hence they did not buy any insurance in case she ran off, well guess what she did and along with her some jewelleries and monies.
Besides preventing the maids from running away, I am not sure if you are aware that many maids out here got themselves pregnant and had to be sent home and their employers having to pay the penalty? Many of these maids are married with a husband and kids waiting back home too.
Again I cannot speak for everyone but my maid has so far been out with us many times. It is not like we went out and left her at home to do housework everyday. I told her that I cannot allow her an entire day off but on Sundays when we are out shopping, she does not have to follow us around. We will part and will meet back at the same place in 3 or 4 hours time. This will hopefully allow her some time for herself to be away from us.
As for telephone call, she has been told to use my home phone to call her family whenever she feels homesick or simply want to chat with her son for a bit.
I know both you and your maids were lucky to have each other but trying explaining your beliefs and thoughts to those who had to lose their S$5,000 just because they allow their maids out and in the end got themselves pregnant.
Lastly, I have no idea where you get the Christian bit from because I have never once mentioned that I am one. In fact I mentioned somewhere in my blog that I am not a religious person and in my Identity Card it reads Free Thinker.
my appologies for the religious comment, i was mostly referrencing another post.
i notice the biggest topic of your reply was in referrence to my being english, i should mention i'm not only engaged to a katong boy but live in singapore and have not lived back to the UK since i was six, so my opnion is irrelevent to my nationality.
as a general rule i have found that singaporens are anxious to let another person into their homes, as any person would be, however it tends to be forgotten that they are just as likely to be a bad employee as their boss is to be a bad employer.
i posted as i felt that the media often beefs up the bad stories about maids and makes people more dis-trusting than they need to be. i read the same newspapers as you do and read the same scare stories!
it would indeed be terrible if someone you let into your personal life were to run off or become pregnant, and in fact i had a friend whoes maid became pregnant and left the country to get married. But it is sometimes forgotten that this is the exception to the rule and like the rest of us, maids are generally good people.
i'm not naive about how employment works, however i should note that i was commenting on the fact that you referred to being decent looking as a needed characteristic of a potential maid, this is not the same as simply choosing a better presented maid over a messy one when interviewing. i was commenting on this as it was a little surprising and i'm certain you know that it is unacceptable to employ on look, i now understand this is not what you were doing as you explained that it was about being presentable.
i would like it is maids were given more freedom, like a day off a week, and a phone, but i appreciate that this is simply to do with my attitued and situation and that i require this of my maid, but i do feel that there is nothing wrong with being "big on human rights"
i am a little indignant that you made assumptions about me in accordance with my nationality (such as making comments about english attitues to sueing) as i was simply showing a different point of view, but i'm sure you meant no harm.
I wish you the best of luck with your maid, whom i'm certain you are respecting and appreciating as every person should. lastly i appologise if i caused upset by presenting somewaht opposing views.
Hello there Ms Angmo,
First of all I would like to state upfront that I am neither offended nor angry with you and your post.
I totally understand where you're coming from and believe it or not I am in agreement with you on some if not most of the points.
I have always preached to others that getting a maid is really the luck of draw for both the employer and employee. As much as we would like to get a good and honest maid, they are also looking for a fair and nice employer.
I'm glad you understand that it is not easy to invite a complete stranger into your lives and home so naturally we have to take certain precautions. She will have to gain our trust slowly too. Likewise we have to show her that we are not those that they heard about who ill treats their maids.
I know they are also as anxious about entering and staying with a family whom they have never met and especially when there will be men in the family.
I also agree that the press and media like to sell negative news. In fact I touched on this in one of my blog (I think its Chicken). If you highlight bad news in red on the newspaper, you will notice that almost the entire newspaper will be in red.
Having said that these articles in the papers also serve its purpose in reminding us of the 'danger' of having maids and likewise it also serve as a warning to them on the horrible thing that employers can do.
For the record, I am all for Human Rights just like I am against racism so please do not take it the wrong way.
Lastly I would like to apologise if I have offended you by making assumptions by your nationality. But what I meant was perhaps the Westerners are a little more direct and open in confronting someone. You have lived in Asia before so I'm sure you're aware of this.
I know how argument can get heated up but at the end of the day I'm sure both parties meant no harm.
Do continue to follow this blog and feel free to voice your opinion. I always enjoy and look forward to a good argument!
Good luck to you and your family too!
Cheers
yeah i'll keep reading, you've got me a little hooked.
and thanks for the different point of view, always interesting.
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