Friday, 7 December 2007


I remembered one day not too long ago, the Mrs asked me what made me felt ready to want a child and take on parenthood. Was it due to the pressure from her since she was more keen initially and that was partly due to her biological clock ticking away.

Well the truth is I have always known I wanted children. I have always liked kids and I hope I can have children of both gender as the parenting are quite different. But I have never given myself a deadline to start planning for a child. Maybe emotionally I was not ready.
For me personally, I do not believe there is ever really a good time that I will feel absolutely ready to take on parenthood. In my twenties I was just beginning to have fun as I was making my own money for the first time plus I do not think we are financially stable enough yet. The forties may bring financial security but I do not think I will have the energy to handle a new born or toddler. Let’s not even go to the fifties because I told the Mrs if we are not successful by the time we hit late thirties we will either adopt or give up the idea altogether. I do not think I will try in my forties let alone the fifties.

So that brings us to my thirties. I feel that this is as ready as I can be. No doubt I am still having fun, in fact more fun than my twenties as I can afford better and nicer toys, but I feel we are more mature and financially stable enough to take on Baby and whatever else he/she can throw at us. Despite the love handles I would still like to think that I have enough energy to take care of Baby. Actually any Daddies out there who managed to lose their tummy from taking care of babies? This will be the best time to share your secret or regime.

Seriously what really triggered it off for me was an incident years ago when the Mrs fell off the chair while we were having dinner at home. These Ikea chairs can give way without warning or signs. Just last week, another Ikea chair gave way while a friend was sitting on it. Luckily he did not hurt himself. Hmmmm….. maybe I should ban the Mrs from sitting on them from now on. Anyway back to the incident. So the chair gave way and she landed on the floor and it gave us a big fright because the Mrs’s menstruation was rather late at that time and we were thinking to ourselves that maybe, just maybe she was pregnant and then this thing happened. I remembered I felt really awful and really wished for Baby (thinking that in case he/she was in there) to be alright. I don’t know why but after that incident I felt that maybe it is time to start a family.

Fast forward to today when I am only about a month away from holding my child in my hands, I still feel that I can never be 100% ready. Besides the lack of sleep and lots of crying (both from Baby and me) I really do not know what to expect. I guess I did not want to prepare myself too much. I would like to take things easy and handle it as it comes as it seems more 'fun' this way.

Friends around me are asking if I am excited and prepared. Honest to God, I am excited and a little anxious and nervous at the same time. Part of me wants Baby to be out now so I can start this incredible journey of Fatherhood and yet there is a small part that says “Wait a minute, hold on. Have I got everything ready? Am I truly prepared?”

Take for example the bag that we are supposed to bring along when the Mrs is in labour. Until this week I keep thinking that it is not ready hence should Baby be due I will be at a total lost. I kept bugging the Mrs to show me that we have everything covered. Now that she has I feel that bit more ready.

Not sure if any of you watched the Walt Disney’s movie, The Game Plan but that to me was very interesting. If Baby is indeed a girl I knew it when I watched the movie then I think I will relate to it even more. Given, the girl in the show that came into Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s life is no baby but she might as well have been since he is just as clueless. Watching the show made me think of the sacrifices that I have to make as a father. Now with a certain budget to buy my Xbox 360 games and HD DVDs I can utilise it all on my own but soon I will have to split that with Baby. So instead of what I did recently like ordering the Heroes and Ultimate Matrix collection box set (both in HD) from Amazon, I will have cut down and budget some purchases for Baby too.

Time is another sacrifice that I am preparing myself to make. Instead of spending an afternoon on playing my latest Xbox 360 game, Assassin's Creed, it will be interrupted with tending to Baby’s every need. Later on I may have to resort to buying and playing kid’s games such as SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom!

So if you ask me if I am ready? My answer will still be I am as ready as I can be.


Anonymous said...

i don't think anyone can be 100% ready for THE Day... i tot i was ready but ready i was not!

actually i got a shock of my life when my doc "threw" my dd on my tummy area immediately when my dd is out. i never expected her to be erm so gross looking...

trust me.. i was really shocked... she was as raw as it can be!
(everyone prep me about the pain of child birth but they forgot to tell me that the doc will pass me the bb BEFORE they clean it too!)

of cos it was the initial period and after a while reality sets in and i realised that i am finally a mummy and she is OUTSIDE of me...

for my hb... well he tot he was ready... but what came in the months/years to come is just something you will learn as you go along.

hmm am i ready for my second one due in April... well actually NO... although not a first time mom anymore but it is really another round of sleepless nights etc... and to juggle 2.... i do not even want to imagine...

haahaa have fun with your FIRST... the first is always the most memorable one ;)

Anonymous said...

Heh, this is not related to the main point of your post, but was pleasantly surprised to see that you enjoy Heroes too. Unfortunately I get my Heroes fix through not-so-proper means. My baby girl used to be able to sit through almost an entire episode of Heroes -- this was when she used to take forever to complete her morning feed and would still be groggy after. She even giggled every time Hiro appeared on screen. No such luck these days. :)

As for being ready... agreed that there is never a perfect state of readiness. I'm starting to discover that not just in parenthood, but in life, I can have a lot more fun if I just jump in and do it, rather than thinking too much and waiting for the right moment.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi happyhour,

I am glad you brought it up because honestly I feel that all newborn babies are really not that good looking.

Maybe that is why in the old Oxford dictionary, Cute is defined as ugly but adorable and people have always associate babies as cute. lol

I think parents are biased, mostly, cause only they can truly see their babies as beautiful.

Lucky for me, I have watched so many videos on women giving birth during my antenatal and hypnobirthing classes that I am prepared to see Baby as bluish and gluey.

Having said all that, I am still really looking forward to Baby's coming.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi evelyn,

I actually tried catching it on AXN but missed a few episodes so I decided to skip it all and wait for the DVD to be released.

So actually I am watching it for the first time on my HD DVD. So far it is really enjoyable but heard that the 2nd season is really short and not as nice.

Like you I prefer to ride the wave as it comes instead of doing too much preparation but then again certain things need to be planned out first.

Trina said...

was tickled by what happyhour said.. my gynae/nurses had the sense to clean up the baby a bit n wrap nicely before passing on to me.. i dont think i would appreciate the bloody bundle, especially if he was going latch on to me on the spot! so much abt maternal love.. i'll compensate in his growing years.. :p

Anonymous said...

Hi Trina,
ya i was truely shocked. eh no one told me that they will "throw" the bb at me BEFORE they clean it up. I was expecting to see the bb fully clothed and cleaned up.

hmm but surprising i noticed also that not all docs will do that... as in putting the bb in their "rawest" form on the mummy's lap...

but it was an experience that i will never forget till this day... although i forgotten how "painful" the whole process was... haahaa

A Husband's Voice said...

Hello Ladies,

I actually learned during HypnoBirthing class that by allowing the baby to be held by the mother immediately after birth is actually beneficial for both the mother and child.

In fact we were told to indicate in our birth plan that we want the baby to be brought to the Mrs before the nurses carry out the administrative procedure.

Okay, don't quote me here because I have not been revising so some stuffs have been returned to the HypnoBirthing trainer already. But if my memory serves me right then it seems that by simply allowing the baby to have this body contact with the mother, endorphin will be released and besides helping the mother relaxes it will also help to simulate the production of the breast milk.

Then there is also something about letting the baby have this sense of familiarity with the mother and her nipples so that it is easier for the baby to latch on later.

Hmmm....... Looks like it is time for me to hit the books to revise again.

Anonymous said...

Go ahusband go, go ahusband go, go ahusband go.. hahaaa.. rooting for you and your MRS (Who's gg PUUUSSSSHHHH) to have a brillant and/or beautiful baby boy/or girl!

Anonymous said...

I did include that on my birthplan; to have baby brought to me before she was cleaned up so she could suckle -- for the reasons cited by "a husband's voice."

The sight of my newborn baby didn't repulse me, neither was I filled with maternal love, and I think I remained in this state of numbness for the first month of motherhood.

As for whether that extra step aided my breastfeeding efforts, the truth is no. Breastfeeding went ok at the hospital, but when I got home I felt she wasn't feeding well, although I took pains to ensure she was latched correctly, just as I'd learned in the workshops. I partially breastfed for about a month and stopped after that, but I don't usually discuss it with other mums, especially new mums, because I don't want to discourage anyone or be drawn into a debate.

Lionel n Rachel said...

Aside from your post...counting down...5 4 3 2 1...

share a little experience...wat u learn at the hypobirthing class might nt be put to use during labor...with all the panick & rush, u will just go with flow...wat long as both mummy & bb is safe..hehe

hmm...can expect ur mrs will be all teary when bb cuddles in her arms...hw come? u may ask.. cos u hv already mention she does so when she sees her bb's movement on the screen during 1 of ur scan/chk up.

i too...was teary when the nurse pass my boy over to me...initially i was like...huh..he so i suppose to carry him now...but emotion sets in & i care less abt the blood..hahaha..

daddy, mummy & bb....jia you!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi there Mrs Chew,

My my, aren't we getting excited! lol

We are getting a little more anxious and excited as D Day draws closer.

Thanks for your support and well wishes!

Will surely keep you posted as soon as Baby is out.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi evelyn,

It seems like most mummies had problem with breastfeeding their babies.

Most can do it at the hospital but when at home it was a different story. I wonder why?

We are going for our Antenatal class this evening on Breastfeeding so will see if can pick up some pointers there.

Frankly the Mrs is not too confident that she can breastfeed for the recommended 6 months hence she did not want me to buy the breast pump first.

I think it is also extremely hard for working mums to extract the milk during office hours. The idea for us is to go with the flow and see what happens.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Yvonne,

Honestly we are not entirely hopeful that we will be able to put everything we learn during the HypnoBirthng and Antenatal classes to good use.

We will go with the flow and I believe we are in good hands too.

Like you I think The Mrs will be all teary when she carries Baby for the first time. Hey, who knows maybe I turn out to be the cry baby in the family.

Thanks for your encouragement. We are so near now!!