Monday, 17 December 2007


I asked the Mrs recently and she confirmed that this last stretch of the pregnancy is the hardest for her. It definitely beats the earlier whole day sickness, throwing up as well as fatigue. If she was to decide whether or not to have more kids based on how she is feeling now, I am positive Baby will be a rather lonely child with no siblings.

The reason for this "torturous" time is her sleep deprivation. The Mrs has not had a good night rest for the last 3 weeks already and she had not laid flat on the bed whether facing up or to her sides for the same period of time too. She has been “sleeping” while sitting up at a 20 to 30 degree angle all this while and very rarely she gets to sleep for a few hours straight without feeling any pain or discomfort.

For most parts, she will switch from position to position which each supplying her with only about 10 – 15 minutes of relief. Before we know it the discomfort kicks in and she had to move the pillows around again. There are currently 4 regular pillows, a small kids pillow, a bolster, a sofa cushion and a body pillow on our bed. All of them are at her disposal to try and build that comfortable “nest” to sleep through the night. She will usually ultilise most of them except for this one occasion when she only needed 2 or 3 of them and she chucked all the remaining ones to me. Funny thing was she must have been so tired that she forgot she had rejected them the night before and she “accused” me of taking away all her pillows the next morning. I had to refresh her memory and told her I had a hard time keeping the pillows with me so that they will not disrupt her sleep and at the same time not dropped any of them on the floor for Ah No. (You see, Ah No sleeps under our bed and is ever ready to pounce on any excess pillows his Master and Mistress are kind enough to “share”)

On the few occasions that the Mrs can sleep for a few hours peacefully, she had to wake up in the middle of the night to empty her bladder. So with the combination of these discomforts and late night toilet visits, she is really having a hard time now.

The fact that she cannot take her maternity leave earlier due to shortage of staff does not help too. Last night was one of the extremely rare nights that she could sleep from about 1am straight to 6am before waking up for her toilet routine. By the time I wake up at 7 she was still sound asleep. I thought to myself if only she can continue sleeping but alas she had to wake up and go to work. While driving to work I told her that I am beginning to understand why there are some MTB who started their maternity leave 2 weeks before the EDD. They probably experienced the same problem but were lucky enough to exercise their maternity leave in order to gain some rest prior to giving birth.

Her lack of sleep got so bad that whenever she dozed off in the afternoon or at night, I had to be very careful and remove all phones from the room. I had to get up and really gently for fear of waking her up. When Ah No follows me out of the room which he usually does cause he is rather busybody, he will be kept outside in case he makes any noise with his wagging tail and wakes the Mrs up. I also learned that it is best to leave everything else such as lights and TV volume as they are since any sudden change will result in waking her.

Although I am not feeling the discomfort and pain, I am not having an easy time too. Most of it is down to me feeling helpless and guilty. Helpless because seeing the Mrs suffered so much and yet there is nothing I can do. I can only help her up and adjust the pillows around for her. The only other thing I can do is to try and stay up with her whenever she cannot sleep but this has also proven to be rather hard. As much as I would like to stay up and accompany her, I always end up falling asleep hence the guilt.

I know all these sleepless nights are taking a toll on the Mrs because I woke up in the middle of the night once only to find the Mrs sobbing away uncontrollably. This was largely due to the fact that she had not slept at all the night before and was having the same problem that night. She was so tired and sleepy but she just could not sleep. Seeing her like that really breaks my heart. I wish I can bear some of the “sufferings” for her.

Last night the Mrs was talking to Baby and she said that it may not be a bad idea for him / her to come out earlier. I think the Mrs does not want to consider having to hang on till the EDD which is at 9th January.

Well, if Dr N’s calculation is anything to go by then we may not have to wait that long for his prediction is Baby will be out before the end of the year. He told us to get ready for the 28th or 29th of this month and in case you're wondering he is not going away for the New Year.
I don’t know why but I keep thinking it will be Boxing Day but whether it's 26th, 28th or 29th, they are all next week!!!!

Speaking of Dr N, we went to see him last Wed and he sent the Mrs to do the CTG to check on Baby's heartbeat and I had recorded the sound from the machine and also the picture of the Mrs’s tummy which has grown by the way. She was gained about 2 Kg since I lasted posted pictures of her tummy.

We are due to see Dr N again this Wed, the 19th. Maybe he will have a better indication / prediction on the due date.


Anonymous said...

hi a husband's voice,

i'm so sorry to hear that the mrs is having a hard time during this last lap. do hang in there! nevertheless, it's still a blessing and privilege for your mrs to be able to carry baby to full term. i'm only at my 33rd week, and already plauged with fears of preterm delivery because of my high blood pressure and potential pre-eclampsia. and trying to sleep on my left at night has also given me 'lock jaws'. *sigh*

if it is not possible for the mrs to activate her maternity leave before delivery, why not confide in your gynae and ask him for MCs? they are usually very prepared to dispense week-long MCs, if we ask. my gynae kept reminding me that no man is indispensable in an office, and if your mrs needs the rest, then don't feel shy to ask for it.

jia you!! and merry christmas in advance! =)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Roanne (no man's land)

Thanks for your concern. We're sorry to learn of your high blood pressure too. Looking at the bright side, you have at least passed the 32nd week mark.

Even if your baby has to be delivered preterm at least we know that every organ is properly developed by now.

You too must hang in there and 加油!!

Frankly it is not the Mrs's boss who is refusing her the maternity leave. As a matter of fact Dr N has been urging her to take MC too. Its really just her. She simply cannot "abandon" her work and colleagues.

She has a new colleague joining in Jan so that she can go for her maternity in peace. Otherwise she was thinking of returning to work immediately after her 1 month confinement. Sigh.....

Merry Christmas to you too!! Take great care and keep reading ya?!

Anonymous said...


Maybe yours will turn out to be a Christmas baby? then you might as well name him/her "Noelle"... hehehe...

Women are forgetful creatures... when i delivered my 1st baby, i told my hubby this shall be our only kid.... then aft i delivered #2, i told hubby we hv a girl & a boy already - factory officially closed... now, i m not sure if we'll ever hv #3... well, the point is, your baby may not end up as a "lonely child with no siblings".. =)

By the way, regarding your Mrs' sleep prob, i m not sure if some herbs / tea helps? I hv not personally try this, but if your Mrs is interested, can chk this out :

To make up for the guilt of not staying up with your Mrs, you can help with the night feeds when baby arrives (unless she's opting for total breastfeeding)... think your Mrs may appreciate that more =)

Looking fwd to seeing ur baby's pics... =P

Nicole said...


That really does sounds bad and very uncomfortable for your mrs. And I can seriously understand the frustration about not being able to sleep at night! Sometimes when Claire refused to sleep early and I'm so tired or she chose to wake up really early, I'll feel like a rag when I woke up. With all the frustrations and giddiness and stuffs and the good thing is that at least I can catch some nap later in the day. And your mrs can't, so I can imagine why it's so difficult for her. Especially when she needs the energy and concentration to pull through the day working. And I'm not even having any problem sleeping now. Just that I'm experiencing some really bad menstral cramps pains some nights. Does your mrs also experience that???

I'm blissfully glad that I'm now 9 months so at least this time round, this second baby of mine will not be a preemie like Ms Claire!

Maybe the consolation will be, at least your mrs will pop out really really soon and hopefully, she can get some rest(that's really doubtful considering she gotta take care of the newborn) but at least when she does sleep, she'll knock out. You'll know what I meant. :)

Unknown said...

Oh dear, she sure sound like she's handling alot at this point in time, guess it must be so so frustrating to not be able to sleep and it kinda tugged my heart to know that she couldn't do anything but cry in the middle of the night, poor girl! I bet it hurt you too.. sigh.. Anyway, whatever it is, I am sure baby will appreciate everything that has been done for him/her..

Hey now, I am really excited for you guys, be it xmas eve xmas boxing day or new year! let's pray for if anything first, a healthy baby!

Love Mrs Chew

missmoon said...

hi there!
hey, this is the last leg already! must jia you ok!! both you and your mrs :)

that's a lot to handle for your mrs. at this late stage, rest is important...but of cos, she must feel at peace with it otherwise no point also, she'll still be fretting away.

i went back to work after 2 months of maternity. a couple of reasons: work commitments and i completely understand where your wife is coming from. hah. second, i know i will need more leave days from work to bring baby to immunisations and all sorts of other uses. so i saved my 3rd mth maternity for later. in a way, returning to work earlier helped me focus on work and at same time, baby. how? i work, so i dun hv to worry abt it, and i know my bb is in good hands.

my gynae also ordered rest (bed rest at that) before the delivery and i didn't dare tell him i worked right up to the wk of delivery. heh. of cos, i took a big risk and also placed bb at risk because of my placenta previa condition. thinking back now, i shd hv just heeded gynae's advice. so much for that.

my point is that, let your mrs do what she's comfortable with. she knows her body best and i'm sure she knows when to stop.

yipee!!!! very very close to D day liao

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nana,

I was told that Noelle is a unisex name so tell me, did you vote for Boy or Girl?

I certainly hope that the labour will not be too traumatic for the Mrs to close factory! Ha Ha

If you follow my blog you will know that ideally I like to have 3 kids. So we are working towards what you have achieved!

Thanks for your suggestion but I dont think it will help because it is not that the Mrs is not sleepy or tired. It is the position of Baby that is keeping her up. However I noticed that lately she is able to sleep a little longer.

The Mrs would like to breastfeed if possible so it looks like I will have to look for other ways to make it up to her.

Hmmmm..... a diamond ring, a branded watch or perhaps a handbag......

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nicole,

Thankfully she is not experiencing any menstrual cramps. I can't imagine how is she going to handle with any "problem" that prevents her from sleeping!

You have no idea how soon she will be popping Baby out (it'll be my next blog).

I believe it will be another set of reasons for not being able to sleep but I am hopeful that at least with the Baby out, the maid and I will be able to assist unlike now.

You take care too yeah?! Since your EDD is so close to the Mrs's then it should be anytime for you also. Keep us posted ok?

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi jolin,

Actually the encouraging words from you readers go a long way in helping the Mrs too. For that I have to thank all of you!

I have all these events documented in this blog so should Baby be naughty or unfilial towards the Mrs, he / she will not be spared.

Really approaching the final leg of the race already!

Fingers crossed for us yeah?!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi there missmoon,

I totally agree with you so I also never really forced her to take her maternity leave. I understand that she can never truly rest if her mind is not at ease. Hence I let her continue working but will nag her occasionally to take things easy.

As for the actual maternity, she is already bargaining with me on the possibility of her only taking a month off. My preference is to have at least 6 weeks. Let's see how it goes. I guess a lot really depends on her colleagues and how they handle the office with her on leave.

Yup! D Day is definitely here. Look forward to photos and the revelation to the mystery - is Baby a boy or a girl.

Anonymous said...


I voted for a girl. =)

Since your Mrs is opting for total breastfeeding, it's advisable that she does not go back to work too soon. Better to let the baby latch on directly for at least 6 to 8 weeks, so that milk flow will not be affected.

I'm a great supporter for breastfeeding. Jia you!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi nana,

Sorry to say that your guess was wrong. Baby is a boy! Ha Ha

We are believer of breastfeeding so the Mrs will try to breastfeed as long as possible.

We are even thinking of the logistic involved once she goes back to work with the breast pump and all.