Reward?

This morning I was driving to work and listening to the Morning Express on radio and they were discussing a rather interesting topic, Rewards for kids. They were trying to gather feedbacks from their listeners on whether or not they think it is a good idea to offer physical rewards to their kids. There were of course a whole load of feedbacks from the general public.

Most if not all are in favour of rewarding their kids but while there are some that prefer to offer only non-physical rewards such as love, more attention and time as well as encouragement, others are perfectly fine with a new pair of trainers, an ipod or even cash.

This certainly brought back memories because my mum would offer us gifts should we do well (actually more like okay in my case) in school and if I recall correctly even my Aunt would offer cash. This was certainly an extra bit of motivation to study that much harder for my exams but looking back now I am not sure if I want Isaac to study for the sake of a new game console (ok bad example since he will not have to as I will most probably be buying it for myself anyway) or should he study for his own future and benefits?

A listener added that the good grades obtained from the child’s own effort should be a reward in itself hence they normally celebrate it as a family and no physical gift is handed to this child. FD (host of Morning Express) then asked for his own benefit if this child gets a sense of jealousy when he sees that his classmates are getting new toys for their effort while he did not and in some cases he may actually do better than those that did received some form of physical rewards. I did not get to hear the listener’s response as I had arrived work already. This is an interesting point too and as FD pointed out he just wanted to learn for himself who this parent will tackle the jealousy issue.

Maybe it is due to Isaac’s age now because my first thought was not on his jealousy of his classmates but more on whether or not he will understand that obtaining good grades is for his own good and future and it does absolutely nothing for us (ok, not quite accurate there as we parents do get bragging rights). Will a primary school kid really understand the magnitude of having a good education? I know I certainly did not. Not that I don’t understand that good education equates to good job and ultimately better pay but I don’t think I fully understood the difference in pay and lifestyle between a CEO and say a Manager or Supervisor. Not at that young age anyway.

However I have always heard that children these days are all much smarter than we ever were so who knows maybe Isaac will hunger for education for his own benefit after all.

Another listener said that he will actually offer rewards for his son for doing the right thing and not caving in to peer pressure and also for standing up to the bully as opposed to achieving good grades. He feels very strongly that it is more important for his boy to develop good character rather than just academic results.

Funny thing is the Mrs and I had talked about what schools to send him to but we have not touched on matters such as this. Right now I am actually on the fence on whether or not it is a good idea to offer physical rewards. I guess I do not see the harm if it is saved for the odd occasion otherwise it will lose its meaning.

I do agree that to allocate more time with the children is a much better reward but it is only when they're young. I know the Mrs would like to stick to Sunday being a family day but being a realist I have a strong feeling the kids will want to go out and have their own fun when they're older.

Based on what I heard these days the children are really groomed to be more of an all rounder so does this mean that we may have to reward them for their achievement in sports as well?

I wonder how long can we offer ice cream and sweets as rewards.