Names

What's in a name?

Well, according to most Chinese parents, it could very well determine or at least have a direct impact in a person's life. Hence carefully choosing and selecting a name for the unborn is not to be taken lightly!

I found a sense of irony here because our parents are supposed to be the more superstitious ones but how many of us had our names picked or recommended by a geomancer. I know mine certainly was not and neither was my sister's.

Hence isn’t it ironic that when it comes to our generation, the younger and supposedly more educated ones are obsessed with going around trying to pick the perfect name for their babies. An example will be my BIL. He went to four geomancers including one in Hong Kong (no, he didn’t fly there. He consulted this guy through fax) and finally decided on a name after about 40 days. Now that is of course taking things to the one extreme.

I visited a couple friend who had given birth last week and due theirs was to be a Cesarean birth, they got a geomancer to pick the date and time for the birth. Due the time was picked, their baby's life will not lack any of the five element, Metal; Wood; Water; Fire and Earth so they can choose and pick any name they like for their child.

Then there are people like me at the other end of the extreme. I have always felt that I turned out pretty alright without having some shifu picked out my name. Ok, I have to admit I am not loaded or anything but I do have a decent job that pays alright, a lovely wife and soon to have a child as well. So in my own book, I'm doing okay. Now that it is time to choose a name for Baby I tend to go with names that I like rather then going to geomancers for assistance.

For me, choosing the Chinese name is very much the same as picking out the English one. It has to sound nice, meaningful and hopefully not too lame or geeky.

The Mrs and I have narrowed down to 2 names. Needlessly to say since we do not know the gender, it has to be 1 for each gender. Its time like this that makes me wonder why not just reveal the gender so we do not have to work doubly hard.

Anyway the names we picked are 天赐 (Tian Ci) if Baby is a boy and the meaning is God's gift and 天恩 (Tian En) if Baby is a girl and its meaning is God's kindness. The meaning is loosely translated of course. I think a few of the Chinese readers here will probably be able to translate it better for me.

So I thought we are done at least with the Chinese names right? Wrong! It seems people are not too comfortable with us using the word 天 (Tian) which means Sky, Heaven or God. It seems the name may be a little too "strong" for Baby.

This has caused some concerns for us because I really like the names. Besides the fact that the name sounds nice, I truly like the meaning too since this pregnancy did not come easily at all. I am not a religious person at all and from this experience I have to agree that to have a baby is really God's gift. Even with today's advance science, IVF is not 100% successful. If I am not wrong its success rate is generally about 40%.

I was joking with the Mrs that if this is the case then we should name Baby after some small fry so if Baby is a boy he will be name 小二 and 小小 if Baby is a girl.

Now the Mrs is considering seeking the geomancer's advice after Baby is born and by giving him the exact date and time of Baby's birth.

This makes me wonder how our friends from the other ethnic groups choose the names. Are there are special rituals or superstitions? How come few Chinese name their children after their ancestors? Hey, we have seen it all in movies about how the babies are named after their grandfather or grandmother. Even Harry Potter named his children after his godfather and teacher.

That brings me back to Baby's English name. Those of you who have been following this blog will know that we have decided on Kate for a girl and up until recently Kai for a boy. I had reluctantly gave in to the Mrs's preferred choice of Kai but it dawned on me not too long ago that it will not work.

"Why?" you ask, and I don’t blame you for you do not know my family name. It's Tan (陈). So one fine day I was just pronouncing Kai Tan in my mind and instantly I knew it has to go. For Kai Tan means 开单 or "issue receipt" when read as Kai T-an and 开摊 or "open stall" when pronounced as Kai Dan. I'm sorry but you have to know Chinese to understand the joke but take my word, it is unacceptable unless we want Baby to have a horrible childhood.

This further led me to believe that Baby is a boy because like I mentioned in my earlier post, Crazy?, God has a wicked sense of humour. He knows we are not ready for a boy so Baby will simply be a boy.

Guess its back to the drawing board for us again! Arrgg!!!