Monday, 3 September 2007


The Mrs just had her detailed scanning done at TMC before the weekend. I had to advise Dr Chang that we do not want to know the gender since he is not our Gynae. Just like Dr N, he was indifferent towards it which further enforce this is not such an uncommon request after all. And most people around us are behaving like we are weird / crazy for not wanting to know.

I know for a fact that I am driving many of people around us crazy by opting not to know. My MIL for one, volunteered to go with the Mrs for her next routine check up so that they can find out from the Dr N while I’m not around. According to her, I can remain in the dark while she and the Mrs find out. Luckily the Mrs was supportive of my “crazy” idea so she will not go along with her mother’s plan otherwise I will really go crazy because everyone else will know but me. Now that is not nice!

Besides my MIL, Baby’s God Ma is also very anxious to learn of the gender so she can start buying things for Baby. Knowing her, this is actually better because otherwise she would have loaded us with tonnes of gifts and clothing for Baby by now. She is very generous to people around her.

One day during lunch with my colleagues, they asked me if I am not curious at all. Are you kidding me?!?! I believe the Mrs and I are probably the most curious amongst the lots!!! It took a lot out of me at Dr Chang’s office to stick to the plan of not knowing. I was seriously on the verge of caving in. I know the Mrs was in the same predicament too and I swear to God when I looked into her eyes they were telling me: “How? You really don’t want to know? Maybe we should. I’ll leave it to you lah! Just know that should you change your mind I will support you wholeheartedly and will not laugh at your weak will! I promise!”

I was so close to telling Dr Chang “Okay lah, what the heck! Show me the private!”

Sitting here typing this, I am thinking why put us through such an ordeal. Maybe this idea is a little crazy after all. Is there anyone out there as crazy as us who have been through this already? Maybe you are crazier by not having a Gynae at all! If that’s the case then you the MAN (or woman)!

Anyway my will power remained steadfast and we proceed to scan everywhere but there. So in case you are thinking of going through the same thing, yes it can be avoided!

Funny thing is most people that we spoke to have the same feeling that Baby will be a boy. I even dreamed about Baby being a boy but the Mrs on the other hand feels that Baby will be a girl. I am reading this book written by a father (will touch on it later) and in it he mentioned that if you have narrowed down to a name for one gender but are still struggling with about 10 – 20 names for the other gender then chances are it will be the one with no names yet. I actually believe him cause God as I believe has a wicked sense of humour.

If this is true then Baby will be a boy because we have already confirmed a girl’s name but are struggling with the boy’s name. We have always liked Kate so girl’s name was easy but we have so far narrowed down to 3 names if Baby is a boy. They are Kai, credit to you Cynthia (comments from Gender), Rafe and Kale. The Mrs prefers Kai while the other 2 are my nominations and since they are a little unique so I have to go on the record and clarify that they are both actual names. Not something that I dreamed up. Base on current votes from friends, Kai is leading so I am appealing to you to vote for my nominations. If I end up the eventual winner than I promise you lift upgrading! Hey, no harm borrowing a proven election model and strategy right?

What I learned from this whole experience visiting Dr Chang was we will always be tempted to give in whenever we’re at the Gynaes’ office but once you stepped out, you will feel the spell broken. If you are afraid you cannot fight the spell then my advice is DO NOT go in. You can wait outside.

Personally, I am just glad that we do not have too many visits left to see Dr N. So maybe, just maybe my will power will hold out.


Anonymous said...

Stick to your stand and let the gender remains as a pleasant surprise! i'm sure many readers here are anxious to know baby's gender, including me. i'm gonna follow your blog all the way thru till baby is born and thereafter! keep us in suspense!

as for the name, how do you pronouce Kai? is it the same pronuciation as the chinese character Kai? another boy's name that i really like is Keane.

Anonymous said...

I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and have been checking frequently for more updates. I applause your will power to not to know your baby's gender. For me, I definitely cannot do that (Its torturing for me that is :P) I can't wait to know my own baby's gender and is disappointed when my baby decided to play hide and seek with me on my last scan!

Anyway, keep writing. I can't wait to read your next update!

Aces Family said...


Chanced upon your blog by reading SMH.

Interesting topic and i believe it's a norm for keeping gender unknown.

My Brother in law just had a Baby Girl, 5 mths plus. They,too, keep the gender of the Baby till delivery. Anyway,don't feel any difference if known b4 or after.. : )

Still the whole family LOVE her as much as our own.

Important thing is each visit to Gynae, result is Mommy & Baby are doing fine.

Well, there are many baby products which are neutral in colour suitable for either boy/girl, so still can buy some to standby, espcially set of clothing for home coming.

Take care and best regards.

Astee fm Aces Family.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Missy,

Thanks for your continuous support, tips and advices. I know Baby is lucky in that he / she has some people like you following on his / her growing up.

The idea is for this blog to be a continuous journey documenting my own experience from a father-to-be to my mistakes as a father.

The pronunciation of Kai is like "open" in mandarin. I have a friend named keen (different spelling) already so cannot use Keane. Otherwise offend other friends.

Ha Ha Ha

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Anonymous,

Do leave a name like Missy so when you next leave any comment or advice I will know it's you. Furthermore that makes it a little bit more personal.

I'm glad you like what I have documented. Do come back for more and I will try my best to keep you mothers and mummies-to-be entertained.

Meantime take great care of yourself and your baby. I'm sure he / she will let you know the gender in due time.

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Astee,

I agree that once you know the gender there is no difference whether you know it before or after delivery.

However, it is during the process of not knowing that makes the difference. I hope I am making sense. He He

True, our main concern is both the Mrs and Baby are doing fine.

As for the clothes and products, the Mrs and I agreed that we will basically avoid buying the Blue and Pink stuffs. These are usually associated with Boys and Girls respectively.

The Pram that I have in mind is Red. Clothes can be Green, Yellow, Orange (my personal favourite) and whatever colours and shades. Kids should be allowed to express themselves in all colours.

I hope you do come back and continue to read and give me your tips and advice.


missmoon said...

hi hi been awhile since i last visited. finally caught up :)

nope, not crazy at all :) don't cave in like i did though. haha. i couldn't resist it in the end, i gave up even before i got into 3rd tri.

heheee, u're most welcome :) i like Kai very very much too. Rafe is nice too, very European, yes?

you know, i had a really strong hunch that i would have a girl the day before the detailed scan. and i was so very sure during the scan while chatting with the technician. i thot i could hold out but in the end, curiousity won. i asked the technician... and she laughed "NO, see? the little birdie? baby's legs are wide open and he's letting you know upfront" haha, boy, was i wrong in my hunch. thing is...there's just so much emotion in watching the screen - the baby formed and moving inside. so yes, sex doesn't matter. so long as baby and mummy is healthy and fine. that's all that matters. and of cos, a strong daddy (preparation to be in delivery suite wif wifey)

Anonymous said...

Heh what a coincidence; my little girl's middle name is Kai. It's a tribute to a little African American girl named Kai Leigh Harriot, who forgave the guy who shot and paralyzed her.

Btw, I enjoy reading your blog too; it always makes me chuckle!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Cynthia,

Welcome back. Yes, it has been a while. Hope you are well.

I am not sure if I can last the next few months but like Missy said, I will try my best to keep you all in suspense.

Rafe comes from Ralph and pronounced like "wave" but with an 'R' instead. It’s actually English.

Well, like I said, the Mrs is pretty sure it's a girl while I have been dreaming that Baby is a girl. In fact I had 2 dreams last night and both times Baby was a boy.

Guess I am more "stressed" about this whole gender thing than I thought huh?!

Anyway, do keep reading and the truth will be revealed....... eventually!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Evelyn,

So if we go with Kai then Baby will have a unisex name like me. Interesting.

I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Well, do come back for more.

Meantime you take great care!


Nicole said...

Just like us, my hubby chose not to reveal the gender this time round. And people start to get REALLY curious, trying to 'force' the gender out of me. I just told them that I have to respect my hubby's wish. Well, I guess people are curious as we rouse their curiousity by not revealing and everyone wants/hopes to be the first hand news bearer. I'm more concern about the health of the baby rather than the gender I would say. Back then I did dreamt that I was carrying a boy but turned out that Claire is a girl..which is good, cause I love girls. SO, dreams are after all, just dreams:)

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi Nicole,

You guys are more "evil" cause you know but choose not to tell whereas we genuinely do not know.

Then again we can know anytime we want so guess we are just as "evil". Ha Ha Ha

Actually the gender does not really matter to me. Eventually I would like to experience being a father to both genders because I know it is completely different.

Anonymous said...

Hi A Husband's Voice

I salute you! You are indeed the Man and a very determined one! Actually you are not crazy for not wanting to know the gender. I think it's personal preference. My HB was like you, he insisted that we dun find out and wants it a surprise "oh its a boy!" or "wah, its a princess!" when the gynae finally pulls the baby out.

But I was the one who caved in to the temptation, I killed the suspense! HAHAHA. I could not resist to ask if I can see his pte. cos I had been having dreams that I was carrying a baby boy.

Anyway keep it up and btw i prefer the name kai (kind of unique). Good luck. Hope you have rec my email on the recipe too!

A Husband's Voice said...

Hi reishi,

Thanks for your compliment although I dare not say I can last the entire term not giving in to my curiosity. Maybe we should save the praise till after Baby is born. Ha Ha

From the look on things, Kai seems to be the favourite so far. You should see the smirk face on the Mrs.

Thanks for your recipe. I will pass it on to my mum and MIL. Hee Hee