Work

Being a mum-to-be is hard. Being a working mum-to-be is even harder. No disrespect to you 'non-working stay home' mums-to-be as I'm sure you have your own sets of difficulties too.

The Mrs works in a small office with only 2 staffs reporting to her. Being in such a small office the impact of any staff going away on leave or MC can be rather big. If you think about it, when one person is away from work the strength is down by 30% which is very significant. Bigger offices or departments will not truly appreciate this because they are almost never this shorthanded.

The one issue that I will always have with the Mrs is her working too hard, in my opinion. Before she is pregnant, she can work till she forgets to drink water for the whole morning or simply cannot find the time to go to the toilet. Many times I have to call her just to stop her from whatever she is doing and remind her to 'breathe'.

Now that she is pregnant, things have not gotten any better. Take yesterday for example. I do not know what exactly happened in her office but by the time she came down an hour after her official knock-off time, she was feeling the pull on her tummy and she was trying so hard to catch her breath. She was exhausted.

She was so drained that she did not feel like eating so I suggested that we go on home and come out for dinner after she has rested.

She fell asleep in the car on the way home and again the minute she touched the bed. I was worried that she may wake up in an hour and she may feel like eating so I decided to wait and not have my dinner first.

At about 9.30pm, about 2 hours of nap later, she woke up but it was not because she was rested. She woke up because she felt like vomiting. By then I had just finished my bowl of instant noodle. In any case she did not feel like eating also.

I'm sure how she felt was not entirely due to her work during the day but I believe it must have something to do with it to a certain extend. I have reminded her many times that nothing is more important than her health and Baby now but I guess it is easier said than done. Especially in middle management where your boss will look to you when something is not done right and your subordinates will seek guidance, instructions and directions from you.

Having said the above I also have to be fair to her colleagues and boss too. They have been very sweet and assisted her in any way they could. They will not allow her to climb, carry heavy things or run about to get stuffs. The biggest problem now is that their manpower is down by 30% indefinitely because a colleague has resigned not too long ago and a suitable replacement has not been found yet.

Being in such a small office has also additional stress when she is not feeling well. Sometimes although she was not feeling too well in the morning, she had to drag herself to work. Dr N has given her the look before when he wanted her to go home to rest but she insisted that her office was shorthanded hence she had to go back.

She is also feeling extremely guilty for having to take the 3 months maternity leave after Baby is born so much so that she is considering taking only 2 months to rest.

I guess the only solution is for her to stop work and be a Tai Tai right? She would like that I'm sure. The topic has come up for discussion many times now but unfortunately for her I cannot afford to have her as a Tai Tai yet. She can only be a Si Lai (think Cantonese) for now........

Gender

During my last post, I realised that I have not put up Baby's picture for some time now. Well here it is.

This was taken on the day that the Mrs was spotting in the morning and then went to see Dr N immediately that very same day.

Dr N actually commented that Baby looks like a little teddy bear in this picture with its arms and legs. What do you think?

Baby was 9 weeks 1 day old when this picture was taken.

Speaking of age, I was completing a form the other day and one of the questions was 'Do you have any children?' and trying to be funny I answered "One on the way!" The next question was 'If yes, how many and how old are they?' I answered "By the time you read this, about 12 weeks old". Then the Mrs rightfully pointed out that whoever is reading will think that Baby is already born and only 12 weeks old. So I added "oh ya - in the tummy".

So should babies be classified as 9 months and so many days old when born? Why shouldn't the age be calculated starting from the fertilised stage? Wouldn't that be something?

Ignore me, just thinking rubbish aloud.

I have to remind myself to tell Dr N when we next visit him that I do not want to know the gender of Baby if possible. By then Baby will be slightly more than 4 months old so can tell already right?

I know technology allow us to know way in advance now but I honestly prefer to wait till delivery. I would like to retain the element of surprise unless of course Junior here is rather well hung then we will have another thing to celebrate. I was watching a show over the weekend and the way the mother put it was "it's like trying to sneak a peak of your Christmas present before Boxing Day" I thought it expressed what I feel totally.

Luckily for me the Mrs was alright and supportive of the idea. I told her that we can buy whatever colour clothes and stuffs for Baby so long as we avoid Pink and Blue generally associated with baby Girl and Boy respectively. So for the pram, I am already eyeing the red one but it's hard to find one now as most places do not carry it in red anymore.

I personally feel that Baby can wear whatever colour he / she wants. Boys can wear pink, red, yellow, orange just like girls can wear blue, black, green, brown, grey etc. You get the picture.

To me the only inconvenience of not knowing if Baby is a boy or a girl is finding a name. We will have to think of names for both genders for now. I will have another post on names in the future, I'm sure. Hey! Why don't I start a drive here for suggestions. The only condition is the Mrs wants it in a single syllable and oh, it must be an actual name. Not one of those that are merely made up of some English alphabets and are so unique that no one has ever heard of before.

Names, anyone?

Worries

I am really beginning to appreciate that pregnancy is a rather long journey full of worries.

While trying to conceive, we were worried if both of us were healthy and whether the egg will fertilise and clinch on to the uterus. Next we have to be extremely careful during this 1st trimester. Every little symptom will cause us to worry as you read in my earlier post, Scare.

Now that we are coming to the end of our 1st trimester, due the Mrs and I are in our early thirties, she has to go through the Oscar test. It will be another cause of worry and anxiety until we see the report confirming that Baby is fine.

We were watching this documentary on National Geographic last night called In The Womb. It was a very detailed and educational piece. However its main content was on how multiple babies i.e. Twins and Triplets are formed. It showed the fetus which looked like a fish, with a tail and eyes on each side of the head, developing into a small baby taking the form of a human. After about an hour, the Mrs decided she has had enough.

Apparently as she watched the development of the fetus, she could not help but to think of Baby. Actually to put it more accurately she was worried about Baby's own development. She was concerned if Baby is developing properly and at the rate that all normal babies should.

I believe she was feeling insecure. After all the last time we scanned was some weeks ago and we will not be due for another 'photo taking' till almost end of July. Maybe it is the mother's protective nature taking its course now.

Since she can't really feel Baby inside her now, she can only rely on the doctor's visits and ultra scans to know for certain that Baby is doing just fine. I believe all this will change once Baby starts to move or kick her during the later stage of her pregnancy.

Sometimes all this seems so surreal to the Mrs. I know she still finds it hard to believe that she is pregnant. At times it all seems like a dream to her and then she had to remind herself that she has not had her menses for months now. Silly as it may be but I do not think feeling this way is unique to only my Mrs. I believe many of the mummies out there feel this way too.

We are keeping our fingers crossed that the Oscar test results will be good. Otherwise it will be another major worry and sleepless nights for weeks till we do the Amniocentesis.

Wish us luck!

Better

Well, since my last posting the Mrs seems to be having a much better appetite these days. At least she can eat most of her dinner now. It is only the breakfast that she is still skipping while trying her best to have some lunch.

She is also feeling less fatigued now. In the past she will be dying to go home immediately after work so that she can lie in bed. Sometimes she will fall asleep for an hour or two before waking up to try and have a bite.

These days, we can sometimes go for dinner first before heading home. And when she is home she has the energy to stay up to watch TV, do some reading or surf the net (SMH). She can easily stay up till 1 or 2 am.

Not only that, her appetite seems to hit her only later into the nights. Usually after 9pm she will start to have these cravings to eat all kinds of food. It ranges from chicken nuggets to satays to porridge to cheeseburgers etc.

While it is all very comforting to see her having better appetite and feeling more energetic, I am now faced with another dilemma of emotions.

See, the Mrs has always been the “live-to-eat” type of person and she doesn’t like to eat alone. She was willing to drive all the way to Johor Bahru just to eat a bowl of the Mee Hoon Kuay. She used to be crazy about this one particular stall but we have stopped this habit for some years now.

Since she doesn’t enjoy eating alone and we are the only two living together, not counting our dog, guess who will have to share the supper with her?

To be fair, it does not happen every night (yet) but I can sense that it is just the beginning now because she is definitely having these cravings regularly. Now I think I know why most Dads have a pot belly.

The Mrs also does not like me to sleep before her. This has been the case since we got married although I do not remember her ever telling (warning) me about this weird habit when we were dating.

So if she is not sleepy even at 1am I will have to try and stay awake to accompany her. This has proven to be rather difficult at times but so far I think I have been doing a rather good job if you ask me.

It is a good thing that I am blogging about this now because should I develop a big pot belly and look more haggard some years down the road and should she complain, I will print this post to show her that it was all her doing.

Tummy

The Mrs is having a little problem – tummy problem.

See, while she is happy losing weight and having slimmer arms and legs, her tummy is naturally getting bigger. Now she looks like a slim lady with a tummy so if she is on the bus or MRT, I honestly doubt anyone will let her have the seat.

No, seriously. She is actually having problem fitting into her working clothes.

This is a bigger problem than I imagined. She is at a stage whereby she should not be wearing the maternity clothes but she is also unable to fit into normal work clothes.

We went to a few maternity shops but she is really shy about going in and worse still trying the clothes on!! Her reason is she does not look pregnant (read slim lady with tummy) and she’s afraid we’ll look K.S. shopping for maternity clothes now.

If you think trying to fit into the day to day work clothes is bad, wait till you see her try and fit into her jeans!!! She definitely can’t fit into them anymore. Not if she wants to button up that is.

So we shopped and I insisted that she tried on some of these jeans with this really wide elastic band that can be folded into half, you ladies know what I’m talking about, but she is not used to it. She finds it odd and come to think of it I don’t blame her actually. It does look rather odd but maybe it feels comfortable?!?!

There is this thing I noticed hanging on the side of the changing room in one of these shops. It is like a small cushion that has a tie around ribbon. I’m no expert but I am guessing that this is for the mummies-to-be to tie on their tummy when trying on clothes. Wish I had a digital camera then so I can show those of you (total of 2) who has not seen it. Well that was my first time and I find it rather amusing.

The one thing that she managed to find so far are these draw strings ¾ pants that some are wearing for yoga or to sleep. She bought them from the pasar malam place at bugis. She is rather happy with her buy cause it only cost S$18 per piece when Swell is selling something similar at S$79 each although notably the material is much better. But since its for short term, the Mrs is fine with the cheaper one.

One friend suggested buying large size clothes from places like Zara and Mango while another suggested for her to buy hipster jeans so that she can wear while her stomach continues to grow.

As she is still feeling the all day sickness, we will not be going for any clothes shopping anytime soon. It's a shame considering that the GSS is now on.

Unwell

It really pains me to see the Mrs suffering so much. Maybe you experienced parents out there can advise.

What happens is the Mrs is feeling morning sickness which is not unusual except that she is feeling it ALL DAY LONG!!! She feels like vomiting day and night which results in her having no appetite at all for food of any kind. It has been going on for about a month already and I'm not sure if this is the direct cause but she has lost about 3kg now - another worry on its own. Not for her though, she is actually rather happy with her new weight, slimmer arms and legs.

Besides the all day sickness, she is also always out of breath and having cramps most of the time. I read somewhere that out of breath is due to the expanded lung capacity hence she needs to take in longer and deeper breaths to fill it. This is still manageable since we have cut down on her walking around (means no shopping during this GSS) plus she can position her body such that the cramp is minimised.

It is the all day sickness that is driving her up the wall and I can only watch on helplessly. Sometimes my show of concern actually irritates her because I am always reminding her to eat but she is always telling me that she will if she can but even the thought of drinking plain water makes her want to puke.

As it is she is already not eating breakfast and she is trying her best not to skip lunch as well. I also learn that constant sickness is good in the sense that the HCG must be high which equates to the pregnancy being stable. This must be another one of God's wicked sense of humour.

The few times she finished her dinner was when she had a particular craving and given time to eat slowly, she surprised even herself by finishing the entire meal. Unfortunately these times when she has cravings are few and far between.

Since she is always on the verge of vomiting, she is also very selective of her food. She does not want to eat food like laksa or curry that will leave a very bad after taste once she has vomited. Hence the poor thing has been surviving on bee hoon soup, porridge and other food along this line.

Read in the same magazine that Ginger biscuit and tea etc will help but it doesn't work on her.

Advice anyone?

Scare!

This was not my original intended post. I was almost done with my next post about the sufferings that the Mrs is going through. But this morning I got a rather bad scare from her hence this immediate post.

While I was washing up and preparing to go to work, she held my elbow, looked me in the eyes and told me that she was spotting. And I was thinking to myself "Oh Shit!! This can't be good right?!"

On the way to work, if you were in our car you would have sense the tension and anxiety that we were both feeling. The silence was deafening. I was really worried for both Baby and the Mrs. "Is Baby going to be alright?" "Will the Mrs be able to take it if something bad did happened to Baby?" I dared not even contemplate that thought for too long. I stole occasion glances at her while driving and I could see her eyes were all teary and red.

Not being able to do anything, I could only held onto her hand and continue to drive in silence and all the while wondering what could have caused it. "Could it have been her stretching accidentally when she woke up?" She said that when she vomited this morning it was really hard and she had to force it out. "Could that have triggered it?"

We were scheduled to meet our Gynae, Dr N, only tomorrow to take another picture of Baby but since this happened, she has rescheduled to go and see him today. Good thing was she worked really close to Dr N so she did not have to go into the clinic and wait. She was able to go back to work and waited for the nurses to call her when it was about to be her turn, although I honestly doubt she could get any work done at all.

Due to work commitment I was not able to accompany her. This was the first time that she had to go and see Dr N without me.

The phone rang at about 9.47 in the morning and she was on the other line. From her tone I could tell that things are not alright but she was feeling that way because Dr N had a procedure to do in the morning so she was to wait for their call. It was sort of a relief because it was not bad news. I know, it was not good news but hey I'm alright so long as it was not any bad news.

Finally she called me about 2 plus hours later. I was a little afraid to pick up the phone on one hand but at the same time could not wait to pick it up and be there for her.

Thankfully this time I could sense that things were alright. I could sense her smile and relief behind the phone.

According to Dr N, she has some blood clog and that caused the spotting. I don't have the full picture yet but as far as I need to know now both she and Baby are alright. There are of course some preventive measures and probably some medication too. Since they did a scan and her next appointment is 1 month later, I am assuming Dr N is confident that things are alright.

I have not seen Baby's new picture yet but it seems we can see all the limbs already. Don't worry, I will post it for you in due time.

Right now just be happy for us that this whole episode did not turn out as bad as it could have been.

One

We recently did a second scan and can confirm that we are expecting one baby. It was quite an amazing experience seeing the little feller. The little heart pumping away aggressively. Our Gynae actually turned up the volume and we can hear his rapid heart beat.

Here is the picture of Baby taken at 7 weeks and 5 day old. This is from a different angle which is rather hard to spot for me.

From this picture, you can see very clearly the head and the tail. The Gynae was using the device to measure and that’s how we know Baby is only 13mm long!?!?!

I have taken the initiative to show you a picture of a ruler so you can appreciate just how tiny Baby is.

I think to fully appreciate you need to take out your own ruler and see for yourself how short is 13mm.

I am truly amazed by how miraculous life is. From this tiny little 13mm being, Baby will grow to be about 1.7m (plus / minus) tall and will be the death of the Mrs and I, well at times.

Won't it be interesting to look back at this post years down the road when Baby is being naughty and go "see, I knew it!" Hmmm........